9 Things Divorced Couples Wish They Did Differently, According To Experts


There are so many things divorced couples wish they did differently in their marriages, and often they're only able to make the connection once they've parted ways. It can be difficult, when you're in the thick of a failing relationship, to recognize problems and figure out solutions. But with time and distance, it can all become clear.

That's not to say the divorce was necessarily a mistake, or that if they'd simply done one thing differently, they'd still be a couple. Each situation is unique, but for couples who have gone through a divorce, it can help to look back on these issues and learn. For example, if communication was their downfall, they might decide to pay more attention to it in their next relationship, so the same issues don't occur.

"That would include learning basic communication skills such as active listening, validating what their new partner is saying (whether they agree with what is being said or not), being courageously vulnerable, identifying and expressing their core needs, and expressing gratitude for their new partner," Dr. Gary Brown, a couples therapist in Los Angeles, tells Bustle.

While they may not have learned certain skills in time to save their marriage, they can use them in the future. Read on below for a few more things many divorced couples wish they had done differently, and what they can learn from it, according to experts.