To say that I’ve tried a few sex toys would be an understatement. Although I was late to the party in regards to getting over my masturbation shame and embracing my sexuality with open arms, I’ve definitely made up for it in the last several years. I mean, I did try 43 sex toys in 2018 alone — and that was before the year was even over. Basically, I know a thing or two about sex toys. But the reason I even put myself in this position, so to speak, is due to a Babeland Silver Bullet — the one sex toy that changed masturbation for me, and might have even changed my life.
I got my first vibrator my senior year of college. It was blue, phallic, and seemed to be the type of vibrator that most cis women would buy, if they were in the market for a vibrator. At the time, I couldn’t conceive of the fact that vibrators didn’t have to be phallic, but being that my favorite color is blue, it felt like the ideal purchase for me. I didn’t use it very much and it crapped out shortly after graduation. I remember wrapping it up in wads of toilet paper before throwing it out in the trash at my parents’ house that summer; this ugly blue thing made of some sticky, strange material that I haven’t felt since. I didn’t have a vibrator for a long time after that.
In 2008, I voted for Barack Obama. While voting and vibrators might not seem like they go hand-in-hand, on Election Day of that year, if you showed your “I Voted” sticker at sex toy shop Babeland, you’d get a free bullet vibrator: the Babeland Silver Bullet.
Although my days of being a full-time writer covering sex and relationships were still a couple years away, I rounded up a few women in the marketing office where I was an office manager to go with me to the Babeland in Soho, New York, with our stickers, so we could score our free vibrator. While the results of the election wouldn’t be fully in until that later that evening, I felt we still had something to celebrate and, honestly, who doesn’t love free stuff?
I didn’t try out my new sex toy — the first I'd used since that blue vibrator crapped out — until that weekend. But when I finally did, I couldn’t put it down. For me, the Babeland Silver Bullet had everything I didn’t realize I wanted in a sex toy. Unlike my blue monster from college, this toy was small, powerful, discreet, and got the job done. With the bullet vibe, I was able to explore stimulation that wasn't just clitoral. Because it fit in the palm of my hand, making it less bulky and awkward, I could seamlessly move it around my vulva and find what felt best. It was with this particular sex toy that I discovered that the upper left part of the external portion of my clitoris is the most sensitive — an extremely important discovery that has been the foundation of many epic orgasms, both solo and with a partner. It was also with the bullet that I dared to incorporate it in sex with a partner — and that partner was more than willing to accept the extra help.
Like a first car in which you have so many adventures, or a special dress that’s associated with a boatload of memories, that’s what the Babeland Silver Bullet became for me. But right before Christmas of 2011, my beloved bullet vibrator stopped working. I replaced the batteries as I had done before, but it was gone. My bullet vibe and I had danced our last dance. It was time for me to move on and open myself up to other toys.
Since then, a lot of sex toys have come and gone from my life. Some vibrators I've loved — and even told them I loved them out loud — while others were forgettable. Although what I desire now in a sex toy is different from what I needed back in 2008 to 2011, I still think of my bullet vibe fondly, though I firmly believe that the sequel is never as good as the original.
The sense of empowerment that came with rounding up those women in my office to get our vibrators threw my life in a different direction.
These days, my sex toy arsenal doesn't even have a bullet vibrator in it. I've graduated to a Le Wand Petite Massager and vibrators by Dame Products. But, oh, how I loved my Babeland Silver Bullet. In fact, I wonder if I'd have the career I have today if I didn't have such a positive and eye-opening experience with it. While I had always wanted to be a writer, before I moved to New York City, I never thought that I'd be writing about sex (no matter how much I watched Sex and the City). But the sense of empowerment that came with rounding up those women in my office to get our vibrators threw my life in a different direction than it would have gone otherwise.
So when I was let go from that job because of downsizing, I decided it was time to finally pursue writing full time. My first assignment? To take a blow job class at Babeland and write about it. From there, I just continued to write about sex and female sexuality — all thanks to that bullet vibe.
