If you woke up this morning wondering whether the sparkling water craze is slowing down, the answer is this: Poland Spring has six new sparkling water flavors. “Haven’t we enough flavors?” you ask, naively. Of course not. We can never have enough flavors. So, without further ado, let’s bring to the stage our six new sparkling water queens: Ruby Red Grapefruit, Lemon Ginger, White Peach Ginger, Blood Orange Hibiscus, Orange Mango, and Vanilla Flavor Twist. (Cue applause, screams of joy, bubbly tears of pure ecstasy, etc.)
If you’re looking to expand your sparkling water palate, perhaps you’ll want to start with the Blood Orange Hibiscus. The Swiss flavor and fragrance company Firmenich named hibiscus the 2019 flavor of the year. If you wanna get absolutely buck wild with your Blood Orange Hibiscus sparkling water, Trader Joe’s sells dried hibiscus flowers. You can garnish your hibiscus water with a hibiscus flower and live your full and true hibiscus life.
Available at most retailers and grocery chains, Poland Spring’s sparkling waters come in 20-ounce, .5-liter, and 1-liter bottles as well as in 12-ounce cans. No word on whether an IV drip is coming soon or not. (It’s not. Bubbles in an IV would literally kill you.)
These six new flavors join the existing line of Poland Spring sparkling flavors: Lemon Lime, Orange, Triple Berry, Summer Strawberry, Raspberry Lime, Black Cherry, Pomegranate Lemonade, Zesty Lime, Lively Lemon, and Simply Bubbles. (Note to me: find out how to get a job naming sparkling waters.)
“After the incredibly positive response to the 2018 relaunch of Poland Spring Sparkling, we are excited to maintain momentum with new flavor options,” Yumiko Clevenger-Lee, Vice President & Chief Marketing Officer of Nestlé Waters North America, said in a press release. (Yes, sparkling water requires a press release, fanfare, confetti cannons, etc.) “As we continue to expand our portfolio of unique and healthy sparkling offerings, our core focus remains unchanged and unmatched; simple ingredients starting with the 100% natural spring water Poland Spring has been known for since 1845.”
This is also what you can say when anyone questions the amount of sparkling water you have in your home: “I am continuing to expand my portfolio of unique and healthy sparkling offerings.” Whomst dare question the authority of a “sparkling offering portfolio”?
If you’re looking to quench your sparkling thirst, the world does not lack options. There’s tried and true LaCroix, the drink we are so culturally obsessed with that we’ve taken to brandishing its name on bathing suits. PepsiCo’s line of sparkling water bubly hit shelves last year. Whole Foods has their own line of 365 sparkling water. There’s even a sparkling water subscription: Ugly Drinks delivers sparkling water right to your doorstep.
Want sparkling water that comes with an extra buzz? Caffeinated sparkling water exists. Want a sparkling water to mellow you out? CBD-infused sparkling water also exists. Looking for some sparkling water that will get you tipsy? Hi, hello, have you met my lord and savior Truly Spiked and Sparkling? At this point, you could say any combination of words with “sparkling water” at the end, and it either is something that the world has already created or is in the process of creating. I literally just Googled “chocolate sparkling water” and yes, of course, white chocolate sparkling water exists.
Our collective obsession/dependence on sparkling water doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. A 2018 survey from Nielsen found Americans bought $49 million worth of sparkling water...in one week in August alone. Over the year, sparkling water has become a $2.2 billion industry, a category that’s grown 54 percent since 2014. Cans of sparkling water, in particular, seem to be driving sales. Basically, if you’ve got your basement stocked like a LaCroix apocalypse is imminent, you’re not alone.
Sip on, sparkling water fiends.