What's The Best Advice About Sex? 17 Tips That Will Change Everything You You Thought You Knew
As someone who spends practically all her time thinking, reading, and writing about all things pertaining to sex and relationships, I'm always on the lookout for tips to have better sex. Even if you're totally satisfied with your sex life as-is, I'm a firm believer that there's always room for improvement in your sex life: there's just so much to learn and experiment with, whether it's a hot new position or some sage wisdom that will change your outlook on sex as a whole. And, while there's nothing wrong with using the internet to read up on ways to have hotter sex (otherwise I'd be out of a job), sometimes the best sex advice comes from those we're close to IRL.
In a recent AskReddit thread, one user asked people what the best sex advice they've ever gotten from someone was, and it's legitimately inspiring to see all the unlikely sources of sexual wisdom — including older siblings, grandparents, and even 70-year-old nuns. But even more important than who gave the advice, of course, is the advice itself: from always peeing after sex to using pillows to your advantage in the bedroom, it seems like there are endless tips that can improve the way you have sex. The best part? There's no one way to have sex that's better than any other, and as long as everyone is a consenting adult, you can literally and figuratively take pleasure in experimenting to your heart's content.
If you're curious about the great sex advice other people have gotten over the years, here are 17 tips that are practically guaranteed to improve your sex life in some way, shape, or form.
1. Always Sleep Naked
This might not seem like a "sex tip," but if you're in a long-term relationship and want an easy way to spice things up in the bedroom, sleeping naked can work wonders. Plus, when you can sleep in the buff, who even needs pajamas anyway?
2. Be Confident In Yourself
If you're experiencing a dry spell, it can be easy to get down on yourself and start thinking that you're not good enough for a potential sex/romantic partner. The truth? Lacking confidence when it comes to sex is only going to have a detrimental effect on your sex life, and you should never just assume someone else is "too good" for you.
3. Use Baby Wipes For Clean-Up
Honestly, this might as well be the alpha and omega of sex tips. Instead of using tissues or a rag for clean-up after sex, switch to baby wipes: it's faster, easier, and you'll smell a lot better (trust me).
4. Put In The "Prep Work"
If you haven't heard yet, foreplay is a wonderful thing. Instead of treating intercourse as the only "real" part of sex, spend time putting in the prep work to turn your partner on — the payoff will be huge for both of you.
5. Just Relax
One of the most important lessons you can learn about sex is that it's totally OK if there's an awkward or embarrassing moment. Instead of making a huge deal out of something, just relax and go with the flow.
6. Focus On The Journey, Not The Destination
Orgasms are great and everything, but they shouldn't be the end-all-be-all goal of sex. The best sex is all about sharing intimacy, and you don't need to have an orgasm to have an amazing time in bed with your partner.
7. Take Charge Of Your Own Sexual Health
When it comes to something as important as your sexual health, you should feel no shame whatsoever in taking matters into your own hands. Whatever method of birth control/STI prevention works best for you, do that — even if it goes against societal norms.
8. Don't Be Afraid To Make Noise
Of course, everyone is different when it comes to their preferred volume preference (both in themselves and in a partner), but you should never feel embarrassed to come out of your shell and make noise if something feels good and you're enjoying yourself.
9. Use Pillows For Different Angles
It doesn't really matter what your go-to sex position is: if you want an easy way to spice things up, all you need is a well-placed pillow.
10. Don't Be Embarrassed About Premature Ejaculation
Although mainstream porn would have us believe that all men are blessed with the ability to maintain an erection for upwards of an hour, that's simply not reality. In the event that you or your partner experiences premature ejaculation, instead of getting mopey and/or self-deprecating, the best thing you can do is simply roll with the punches.
11. Be Sure To Pee After Sex
If you've ever had a UTI, you'll know that there's no advice wiser than to always pee after sex. It might be tempting to just roll over and fall asleep, but you'll thank yourself later if you get up and pee before going to bed.
12. It's Better To Start Slow
As with most things in life, slow and steady can win the race when it comes to sex, too. As this Redditor so wisely points out, it's better to start off slow and gentle and be asked for more than to start off too strong and be asked to slow down.
13. Tell Your Partner What Does And Doesn't Feel Good In Bed
It might sound obvious AF to some people, but in order to get what you want in bed, you have to actually communicate that to your partner, even if it's as simple as saying 'a little more to the left.'. It might seem awkward at first, but practice makes perfect, and you should never feel embarrassed about communicating your sexual needs to your partner.
14. Sex Should Be A Win-Win For Both Parties
It should be an absolute no-brainer at this point, but unfortunately it still needs to be said: consent is so crucial to sex, and you should never feel like you "tricked" someone into bed.
15. It's OK *Not* To Feel Sexual Attraction
With all this talk about sex, I feel like it's important to note that if you don't feel sexual attraction and/or identify as asexual, that's perfectly OK too. Don't let society tell you you're weird or wrong for not having sexual urges.
16. Talk Openly About Your Kinks
Aside from being able to communicate to your partner what does and doesn't feel good in bed, it's also important to feel comfortable openly discussing your kinks and fetishes with your partner. You shouldn't feel pressured to disclose all your private fantasies, but you should feel confident that you can express your kinks without judgment.
17. Sex Doesn't End With Male Ejaculation
IMHO, this is one piece of sexual advice that all straight women should learn to live by: just because your male partner ejaculates does *not* mean that sex is "over."
You should never tolerate a selfish partner, regardless of their gender, and you should never feel like you aren't able to have an orgasm just because your partner finishes first.
Ultimately, the only real piece of sex advice you need is this: if you want to have an amazing sex life, it starts with feeling comfortable and confident with yourself in bed — after that, everything else is what you make of it.