As someone who was born in the mid-‘80s, I was exactly the target age for Beanie Babies when they hit the scene in the mid-‘90s — and you’d better believe I was all over them. But although identifying with your toys was all the rage back then (and probably still is, for that matter), I never stopped to consider which Beanie Baby I was based on my zodiac sign. So, hey, let’s take a moment to remedy that oversight, shall we?
Although there are some aspects of collecting as a hobby that have never made much sense to me, my childhood Beanie Baby collection somehow grew to enviable proportions. But I didn’t collect them with an eye for their future value; I just really liked stuffed animals. There was something particularly appealing to me about the size and heft of a Beanie Baby; I liked that I could easily take them to school with me, as long as I left them in my backpack or locker until recess. And I'm pretty sure that whenever gift-giving holidays came around, anyone who asked my parents, "What does Lucia like?" immediately got the answer, "BEANIE BABIES."
However, when it comes to astrology, I am an “it’s just for fun” sort of person. I don’t really buy that our personalities or fates are determined by the stars (although for what it’s worth, your birthday can apparently have an effect on your health); heck, nine times out of 10, I don’t really match my own astrological personality — I’m a Pisces by birth, but although I am into artistic pursuits, I definitely don’t have the romantic, dreamy disposition those born under the sign are “supposed” to have.
Either way, though, it’s still kind of fun to pair the two things together. So: Which Beanie Baby are you? Let’s find out.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Legs The Frog
Like Aries, Legs likes physical challenges and hanging out with friends; he can usually be found by the lake jumping around with his favorite folks, according to his swing tag poem. One of the original nine, he was introduced on Jan. 8, 1993; he was retired almost five years later, on Oct.1, 1997.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Tabasco/Snort The Bull
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Rainbow The Chameleon
Geminis are kind of like chameleons; when you hang out with them, you never know which side of their personality you’re going to get. Interestingly, not one, but two versions of Rainbow were released: One that was literally rainbow-colored, and one that was decorated with blue-toned swirls. He was introduced on July 1, 1998 and retired on Oct. 14, 1997.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Chip The Cat
Introduced on May 11, 1997 and retired on March 31, 1999, Chip is quite artistic; her poem implies that she’s responsible for the beauty of her own multi-colored coat, which must have required some skill to pull off. (That is, as long as we also work from the assumption that cats get their coats by painting on themselves. Or… something.) In any event, Cancers are just as artistic as Chip’s poem implies she is — and what better animal to represent one of the most aloof astrological signs than a cat?
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Patti The Platypus
I know, I know — what? Not a lion? Honestly, though, Leos match Patti the Platypus better than many of the lion Beanie Babies that exist; the poem in her swing tag describes her as a gregarious creature who loves talking with friends. She’s outgoing and friendly, just like Leos are. She was introduced on Jan. 8, 1993 and retired on May 1, 1998.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): Chocolate The Moose
Moose are awesome. They don’t generally create herds; like Virgos, they’re kind of loners. But they like it like that, and they do pair off when they feel like it. They’re peaceful unless threatened, at which point they will defend themselves fiercely. Chocolate has a bit of a sweet tooth, according to his poem, which may or may not apply to each individual Virgo — but do with that what you will. He was released on Jan. 8, 1994 and retired on Dec. 31, 1998 — the last of the original nine to say goodbye.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Bongo The Monkey
Like most Libras, Bongo is super laid-back; one day, though, he hopes to be a rock star, according to his tag poem. He was introduced on June 3, 1995 and retired on Dec. 31, 1998.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Tank The Armadillo
Scorpios are brave and resourceful, but also kind of stubborn. I don’t really know if armadillos are brave and resourceful, but given that Tank’s name is… well, Tank,I think it’s safe to say that he’s got that name for a reason: Tanks don’t budge, and they don’t back down. He was introduced in his first incarnation (there have been several) on Jan. 7, 1996 and retired on Oct. 1, 1997.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Garcia The Bear
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Daisy The Cow
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Pinky The Flamingo
Flamingos like to hang out with other flamingos; they’re quite sociable. Having fun with other people is also high on most Aquariuses’ (Aquarii's?) list of favorite activities — and, like Pinky the bright pink Beanie, they tend to stand out in a crowd. Pinky’s introduction was on June 3, 1995; she was retired on Dec. 31, 1998.
Pisces (Feb. 10 – March 20): Hoot The Owl
Like a lot of water signs, Pisces are relatively introverted people; the same is true of Hoot the Owl. Hoot likes to spend his time reading and learning new things, according to his poem — even if it does mean his internal clock operates a little differently than everyone else’s. He was introduced on Jan. 7, 1996 and retired on Oct. 1, 1997.