Why Does My Partner's Penis Keep Slipping Out? 7 Ways To Deal With This Common Sex Mishap

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Before I first started having penis-in-vagina sex, I was warned about a lot of things. I was warned that it would hurt (not accurate), that I probably wouldn't come (doubly accurate for both me and my partner), and that I could get pregnant or get an STI (thankfully not accurate). I was not warned about the problem I actually ran into: the penis constantly slipping out in the middle of the action. My partner and I had never heard of this happening and didn't know any solution, so we just kept letting it slip out and putting it back in. It appears I haven't learned much since then, because constant removal and re-insertion of the penis is a standard part of my routine now. Which makes me wonder: Am I doing it wrong? Or is that just an inevitable part of sex?

"Penises get erect in a variety of angles and, depending on the position you're both in, they can more easily sort of 'spring' out of the vagina with each outward thrust — especially because, ideally, there's a lot of slippery lubrication going on," sex educator Anne Hodder tells Bustle. "During orgasm, the vagina muscles contract and tighten, which can absolutely 'push' out something inside (penis, dildo, hand) if there isn't anything keeping it in place. So it's totally possible that a vagina can accidentally push out a penis, especially one that's post-orgasm and losing its erection, but it's really nothing to worry about. Kind of just part of the deal."

So, don't be concerned if your partner's penis keeps falling out during sex. Inconvenient as it may be, it's not an unusual part of the process. Nevertheless, it can be annoying. So, here are a few tips that can help you prevent it from happening or keep going after it.

1Use Shallower Thrusts

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"If the penis-owner isn't completely aware of how far out they're pulling, it can be easy to accidentally pull out completely," says Hodder. To correct for this, your partner can use shallow thrusts instead of going all the way out.

2Change Positions

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"When the partner is on top, the onus is on them to be aware of how far up/out they're gyrating in order to avoid the penis from slipping out completely," Hodder says. To give your partner a break, you could try getting on top so that the onus is on you.

You may run into the same problem and find that you keep slipping off, but your chances may be better, Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly tells Bustle. "You can control the movement and reduce the amount of thrusting they do (which often leads to slippage)," she says.

3Prop Yourself Up

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If you stay on the bottom, putting pillows under your knees, stomach, or hips can help close the distance between you and your partner, says Dr. Jess. "Sometimes it’s the angle that makes it difficult to stay inside, and so a small adjustment can help," she says.

4Take Turns Being In Control

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When two people are moving around at once, keeping everything together can be a challenge. "Sometimes, you slip because you’re both moving at the same time," says Dr. Jess. "If you allow one person to manage most of the movement (e.g. they can move back and forth while holding onto and guiding your hips), you might find that you’re less likely to slip."

5Leave It Out For A Bit

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If your partner's penis is slipping out, chances are you're very well lubricated, which means you might enjoy moving the penis back and forth on the outside of your labia and clitoris, says Dr. Jess. "You’ll likely get just as much (if not more) pleasure than you do when he slides inside."

6Pace Yourself

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There's a lot to be said for slow sex, and one of its many advantages is that it helps you control your motions. "Whether you’re on top, lying back or on your knees, try slowing the movement and adjust the rhythm so that you can follow one another without slipping out," says Dr. Jess.

7Just Put It Back In

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While there are some ways to reduce slippage, you can also just roll with it, put the penis right back in, and keep on going. Don't hold yourself or your partner to the expectation that the penis always stay in. A little slippage never hurt anyone.

Also of note: your partner shouldn't take this personally, because it's not a matter of size, says Dr. Jess. "Slippage during P-V sex is perfectly normal."