Picture this: After waiting in line for an hour, you and your significant other are packed into some snobby restaurant, where you shell out an excessive amount of money on Cupid-themed "small plates" and are so surrounded by strangers, you can't hear yourself think. OK, a fancy dinner for February 14 isn’t the worst idea, and yes, it can be quite nice. However, you and your SO might be craving something a little more creative, intimate, and spicy than overpriced entrees. Or maybe you’re saving *dessert* for after dinner. Either way, these sexy Valentine’s Day ideas are way more fun than a singular spendy meal.
Unless you're Monica Geller, the concept of planning something sexy may seem antithetical to the essence of sexiness itself. While you don't have to write an exact script of everything that's going to happen, a little effort can go a long way. From couple's massages to sex bucket lists, there are plenty of saucy activities that will bring the heat at home.
Whether you're into the holiday or not, Valentine's Day is a good reminder to give your love a little extra attention. Minus the gifts and the glam, it can be an opportunity to check in with your partner about your sex life and celebrate your connection.
Here are 13 easy, affordable, and totally hot Valentine's dates.
1. Go On A Sex Toy Shopping Spree
There's something very hot about shopping for new sex toys with your partner — and it’s a great way to spice up your sex life if it’s feeling a bit “same-old,” says Dr. Martha Lee, D.H.S., relationship counselor, clinical sexologist, author, and owner of Eros Coaching. Whether you're just learning about what vibes you like or have a toy box full of them, looking at the array of toys out there can create an encouraging space for you both to communicate about your needs and desires. Even if you just window shop, talking about sex toys will likely have you both super turned on — but you can also purchase an item or two for some extra sexy Valentine’s gifts.
2. Do A Couple's Massage
Sometimes, the best foreplay isn't sexual — it's sensual. “Sex isn’t just sex,” Lee tells Bustle. “A massage can go a long way to turning on our senses, relaxing the body, calming down the nervous system, and preparing us for a meaningful time connecting with each other.” Light some candles, put on some calming music, grab your fave oils and lotions, and give your partner a massage like a pro. Learn about each other's sweet spots, and build up the sexual tension.
3. Experiment With Role Play
“Remember playing dress up and doing role play as kids? Bring it into the bedroom,” suggests Lee. Bringing a little creativity and imagination between the sheets is a super sexy way to make your fantasies a reality. “You can choose to do so with or without the dress up — it’s all in the name of fun,” Lee notes. Plan out your roles ahead of time so you can actually put effort into dressing up (if you choose to) and getting into character.
4. Plan A Sensual Spa Night
Bring the spa to your home. Take a hot shower together, doing some aromatherapy with essential oils. Like the couple’s massage, igniting each other’s senses with some relaxation makes for the perfect foreplay. Light candles around your house to make it a serene and sexy atmosphere. (For one night, hide all the dirty laundry and computer wires.) Recreate a spa experience at home complete with soothing treatments (face masks, body scrubs) to make each other all soft and smooth.
5. Explore Erotica
Thinking of something sexy to say on the spot can be overwhelming. So, do what all the great artists do and steal from someone else. “Erotic reading and talk can add a new dimension to your couple date,” notes Lee. Find a piece of erotica to share with each other. Whether it's a poem or a passage from a novel, choose something that excites you. If you'd rather listen to something together, “there are also audio erotica apps you can check out: Aural Honey, Dipsea, Emjoy, Femtasy, Ferly, Literotica, OhChelo, Quinn, and Sofia Sins,” suggest Lee. These apps have sexy audio stories to match your mood or favorite fantasy. Sharing sexy stories that get you going is a great way to learn about each other's desires.
6. Play A Sexy Game
Grab a bottle of red and get comfy in the living room for a sexy game night. Lee suggests trying sex games, erotic dice, strip poker, or truth or dare challenges to spice things up. Perhaps you take turns doing some consensual power-play or blindfold and tease each other. “These help get the creative juices going and support both of you in becoming more adaptable lovers,” Lee says.
7. Try A Blindfolded Taste Test
To feed your literal and sexual appetite, grab a blindfold and take turns feeding each other some delicious treats. “When blindfolded, your other senses heighten,” explains Lee. “Food tastes different when we can’t see what we’re eating — have fun exploring your senses.” Try erotic foods and aphrodisiac desserts like chocolates, berries, or candy — the options are endless.
8. Host A Sex Scavenger Hunt
What better night to do it in the kitchen or experiment with bondage? Create a sex "bucket list" or scavenger hunt of salacious trouble you've always wanted to get up to, and work all night to check them all off the list. “Think The Amazing Race, where you have to complete challenges to be safe from elimination,” Lee offers. This is a great way to learn more about each other's desires and to get each other's temperature on new things you've wanted to try.
9. Do A (Naked) Fashion Show
Perhaps the best part of getting all dressed up is getting dressed back down. “Being unclothed can make us feel vulnerable and naked, emotionally too,” Lee tells Bustle. Pick out nice outfits for each other (including hot undies or lingerie pieces) and give each other an at-home fashion show. Strip down together and continue on for some naked time. Bonus points if you make it a photoshoot.
10. Build A Fort At Home
You can actually choose to go camping outdoors (weather permitting), or simply set up a tent or fort inside your home. Either way, the experience adds a sense of adventure and childlike excitement to a sexy Valentine’s Day date. “The tent already creates a cocoon that heighten intimacy and being in a love bubble,” adds Lee.
10. Plan A Picnic (Plus Dessert)
Make it extra cute and pull out all the stops with a picnic basket, charcuterie board, breads and jams, and sweet drinks. It’ll start out as an adorably cottagecore living room date and get extra spicy as the night goes on. “Turn your living room into your own Garden of Eden, and have sex [on] your picnic mat after finishing your meal,” offers Lee. Plus, the opportunity for role play is just too good here.
13. Get Down For Some Bathtub Sex
Get dirty while you get clean. “If you or your partner identify as a water baby, you’ll love sex in water,” says Lee. “Besides using a typical bathtub for sex, try to see if you can get access to a bigger bathtub — or better, a private pool,” she suggests. “Look up Airbnb or something similar in your city.” You can also combine the idea of a sexy spa night or couples massage, and top it off with some steamy bathtub sex.
Dr. Martha Lee, D.H.S., relationship counselor, clinical sexologist, author, and owner of Eros Coaching
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