When it comes to dating and relationships, we all want to find someone who's our "best match" — someone who ticks all the compatibility boxes, complements our personality, and understands our quirks. And to do so, we often turn to things like online dating quizzes and love horoscopes. But, in case you didn't know, the
most compatible Myers-Briggs personality types can also give you further insight into who you're more likely to have a successful connection with.
For those who are newbies to Myers-Briggs, the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is a personality assessment that breaks people down into 16 unique personalty types based on how you perceive and judge the world. The four letters included in each type represent four psychological dichotomies that can give you further insight into who you are, what your goals are, and how you interact with others. And while the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator can really help with self-evaluation, it can also assist you in learning other things, like who you're most compatible with.
taken the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test online, and gotten your four letters, then it may be interesting to see how they might mesh with those of your love interest, or even a long-term partner. "Understanding type is an eye-opening factor because it helps understand where that person is coming from, and what their preferences are," Jan Tanaka, a Certified MBTI Practitioner, tells Bustle. "It [can help] spark a discussion about where you can flex style to someone else, and how the other person can flex style to effectively communicate with you."
And that's important to keep in mind, if you're interested in someone who isn't
technically a good match. "As you already know, the Myers-Briggs is just an instrument to give people more information on someone’s innate preferences," Myers-Briggs certified coaches Poppy and Geoff Spencer, LCPC tell Bustle. "So, while not set in stone, knowing your own and someone else’s preferences is a huge plus when dating, especially when meeting first online."
Your Myers-Briggs type can help you find someone who may be a good match while dating, but it can also shed light on any imbalances you might be experiencing in your long-term relationship. If that sounds helpful, read on below for
your Myers-Briggs type to see which types will mix best with yours, and why experts think that is.
ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) should keep an eye out for those who are either ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving), or ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving). Regarding the ISFP match up,
Jessica Moore, a licensed Dynamic Emotional Integration (DEI) specialist tells Bustle, "Sure, they might have disagreements about how often to socialize with friends, but as long as they enjoy spending time together, the introvert/extrovert difference won't matter much. And in every other way they'll be on the same page, and will very easily 'get' each other."
According to Tanaka, an ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) type will be super compatible with ESTJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) and ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving). But they'll also match up well with one that doesn't seem as likely: INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). "You may believe that since none of the letters match, you should eliminate this person as a dating candidate. [And yet], this pairing is highly sensitive to one another," the Spencers say. "With the tertiary functions of a 'T' Thinker and an 'F' Feeler, effective communication is often positive and successful. The 'T' taps into [their] Feeling mode to understand where their partner is coming from. The upside to all of the types is that they are not set in stone; they are preferences. We can learn and grow in our relationships by our willingness to further develop our own inferior and less dominant traits." So, even if someone seems like your opposite, that can actually be a
Folks who are ESTJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) are most compatible with ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) and ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) types, according to Tanaka. But they can also find a healthy relationship with an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) type.
According to MyersBriggs.org,
ESTJs are active organizers, logical, assertive, analytical, and practical. And as such, when it comes to dating, they may appreciate a partner who can keep up.
But something interesting to keep in mind, when comparing your results to someone else's, is how strong the results were. Were you
very Sensing, or just a little bit? Were you incredibly Thinking, or did your results fall in more neutral territory?
"In my view, the S/N, T/F, and P/J differences aren't a big deal for compatibility if the two people are close to the middle, but they will absolutely create compatibility issues if the two people are at the far ends of the spectrum," says Moore. "I feel that all of the personality indicators play a huge role in shared interests, but the E/I difference is less of an issue because it is the most easily managed in a relationship."
ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) folks are best matched with ISTP types (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving), ESTJ types (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging) and ESTP types (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) because ESFJ people "can usually relate best to other extroverts and the same can be said for introverts," Caleb Backe, a health and wellness expert at
Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. "However, an introvert who possesses the Perceiving (P) trait may benefit from having an extrovert in their life who will get them to try something new or go on an adventure that they may have been reticent to go on alone because of their introversion." And these matches can do just that.
An ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) type should be on the lookout for an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) as "both are results and action-oriented," the Spencers say. "ISTJs are systematic in their thinking process, will probably have dating checklists that have been well-planned and they will execute those plans efficiently. An INFJ pairing, who are often idealists, are compatible because they both are goal-oriented. The ISTJ will approach dating with a logistical approach and [their] desire to be part of a stable 'systematic' duo, paired with the INFJ’s desire to help and empower others, is a good dating match." But Tanaka says ISTJs should also be on the look out for ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) and ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) types too.
ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking Perceiving) will want someone who's on the same level as them. "Although individuals possessing the Perceiving (P) trait may act more impulsively at times than those with the Judging (J) trait, two Perceivers usually get along wonderfully," says Backe. "They share an adventurous streak, and nobody is holding them back from trying something new. Two ISFPs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) may not be a good match because ... it is always good to have both a Thinker and a Feeler in the game." That way, they won't reach a stalemate, or have disagreements due to misunderstandings.
ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) are also known as the "Defender," and "are deeply committed to kindness and giving in relationships,"
Christie Tcharkhoutian, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Professional Matchmaker, tells Bustle. "Good matches for ISFJs are those that share common roots in Sensing and being attuned to what they can see rather than abstract ideas. They put more weight on their own personal experience and facts rather than intentions. In this way, good matches for them would be partners who can challenge some of their flexibility around the future and pairing with someone Extroverted may help them open up to different interactions with a wide variety of people. [This] can help them with their difficulty in conflictual situations."
An ISFP (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) loves an adventure, and would "enjoy
sharing in mutual activities with a partner," says Tcharkhoutian. But they're also someone who likes to keep a tight lid on their emotions, and might want a partner who prefers doing the same. "It can be exhausting to match with an 'N' personality type who always wants to connect around Intuition and abstract rather than 'Sensing' the experiences of the here and now," Tcharkhoutian adds. "They would match well with these types because their sense of adventure can also match an extroverts sense of connection and matching with the J traits may also help them to grow in planting a solid foundation from which they can also branch out and explore."
ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) pairs well with INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging), most of all. "This is a compatible dating match," the Spencers say. "The core or 'heart' of this type is the 'NT.' Both people have strong intuition and thinking preferences ... The 'NT' core is exciting and stimulating for this pairing. Discussions, especially deep-level ones, are like foreplay for this combination. And the bonus ... is these relationships are relatively drama-free. Trust and reliability are equally embraced with this couple." ENTJ is also highly compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging), according to Tanaka.
ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) are most compatible with ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), according to Tanaka. But they also can pair well with other extroverted types, like ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging).
As noted on MyersBriggs.org, ENTPs are
energetic, inventive, and enthusiastic individuals. And if you apply those traits to relationships, it makes sense why ENTJ, ENFP, and ENFJ would complement them well.
Remember, though, that sometimes an Introverted personality may help balance out more Extroverted, gregarious types, so don't eliminate all the homebody prospects that come your way.
ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) is one type that does well with someone just like themselves. "Two ENFJs are great," the Spencers say. "They both like social gatherings, usually enjoy a wide network of people, are easy communicators, enjoy planning activities and adventures for the future, and ENFJ’s value organization and harmony in life. Often sensitive and warm-hearted people pleasers, they are eager to reach resolution to misunderstandings and conflict. ENFJ’s place a high value on relationships because they authentically care about people. If you’re an ENFJ, your dating life with another ENFJ will be a blast."
But INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) types can make great matches, too. "An ENFJ is a nurturing, intuitive 'giver' who truly values connection," says Tcharkhoutian. "They would match with either an introvert or an extrovert because they appreciate social interaction and would enjoy someone who also appreciates social interaction. Additionally, having an introverted partner would be a good opportunity for an ENFJ to peel back the layers of personality and get to connect on a deeper layer, which can be a challenging and rewarding experience for the nurturing ENFJ."
For ENFP, (Extroverted, Intuitive Feeling, Perceiving), ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging), INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging), and INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) pair best. And there's a pretty good reason why. "ENFPs are constant sources of inspiration, but might not necessarily have the drive to follow through," Eric Gee, of
YoutopiaProject.com, tells Bustle. "ENTJs, while not exactly fountains of creative energy, have great ambition (think Hermione Granger) and the force of will to take the ENFP's ideas ... and make them happen." When together, these two can move mountains.
INTJ is another great pairing. "Not as forceful as an ENTJ, but just as organized, INTJs will plan the hell out of all the ENFPs crazy, off-the-cuff inspirations," Gee says. "As partners, the two types would teach each other many things: INTJs would learn that you can't always foresee every possible outcome in life, which is what makes being human so fun. ENFPs would learn that you are not always great at everything, and that caution and planning often lead to better results than unbridled spirit."
INTP may also make a great partner, since they too can balance out an ENFP. "If ENFPs have great vision, INTPs have great distance. Their emotional objectivity helps calm and give clarity to the often hyper-sensitive ENFPs," says Gee. "The more pragmatic 'NTs' give ENFPs focus in action. INTPs give them confidence in their ideas."
INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) needs someone who can either embrace their introverted side, or help balance it out. According to Tanaka, INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) and INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) are compatible with this type. She asks, "As a partner, do you want to be with someone who gains energy in the same way, as an extrovert who processes things externally or someone who processes internally?"
If communicating is more important to you, you might feel happiest with an INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling Perceiving), "as both excel at being proficient communicators," the Spencers say. "They both share a love of discussion; they both share appreciation for their internal musings and ideas. Their 'N’S' are well-aligned and they get one another."
INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) are "most compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving), INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)," says Moore. "In my experience, differences in extroversion/introversion (E/I) are not deal-breakers, because being different in that way doesn't make them less compatible when they are
together (just how often they would each prefer to go to parties). And differences in Thinking/Feeling (T/F) can often be complementary, as Thinking people often appreciate more Feeling in their personal relationships, and Feeling people often appreciate a steady logical presence in a partner." So if a social life isn't the main attraction in your relationship, you may be able to happily connect in other ways.
As the Spencers mentioned above, someone who is an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) will match up well with someone who's ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging), since both folks are "results and action-oriented." They're all about making checklists and thinking things through, and that often means they take a logistical approach to dating — as well as life in general. It's also why they might not get along well with someone who has opposite or conflicting qualities, as they'll just butt heads.
According to Tanaka, INFJs should also look out for people who are INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) or INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging).
INFP types are "Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving." As the Spencers say, "The most compatible dating partners for an INFP would be: INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging), ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), and ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). Notice the 'F' (Feeling) is common in all three and none of the three have a 'P' (Perceiving) for their last letter preference."
And that's because two Perceiving types don't always mix well. "We smile when we say that having 'two Ps in a pod' is not a good thing. Two Ps can never make decisions: where to go out on a date, what restaurant to pick, what to order, what time, etc.," the Spencers say. This can be bad for couples, "as they struggle with dating momentum."
INFPs can also get along well with Judging types, as long as that person has strong Feeling characteristics. "The J cannot have a very clear strong preference, because [they] will most likely become frustrated with their P's lack of decision-making," they say. But "if the J has a strong F, that will usually override their annoyance."
It just goes to show that,
when it comes to dating, it's possible to make it work with a variety of personality types, but there are definitely ones that balance each other out and "get" each other on a whole different level. And that may be a small factor to take into consideration when it comes to your next relationship.