You've read the love horoscopes. You've taken the relationship quizzes. Now it's time to look at the
most compatible Myers-Briggs personality types, and see who you'd mesh with best, based on a confusing mix of letters.
For those who are newbies to the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, otherwise known as MBTI compatibility, it's basically a personality assessment that breaks down 16 unique personalty types. Once you take the test, you'll end up with four letters — like INFP OR ESTJ — which essentially provide insight into who you are, what your goals are, and how you interact with others.
When it comes to dating, knowing someone's MBTI might just help you "understand where that person is coming from, and what their preferences are,"
Jan Tanaka, a certified MBTI practitioner, tells Bustle. Or, at the very least, it can help "spark a discussion" about introversion and extroversion.
It's always fun to compare results — or post them in
your dating profile. But keep in mind "the Myers-Briggs is just an instrument to give people more information on someone’s innate preferences," Poppy and Geoff Spencer, LCPC, Myers-Briggs certified coaches, tell Bustle. "So, while not set in stone, knowing your own and someone else’s preferences is a huge plus when dating, especially when meeting first online."
If that sounds helpful, look below for your
Myers-Briggs type, and see which other three types are your best match. 1 If you are ESFP: ESFJ, ESTP, ISFP
ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) folks should keep an eye out for those who are either ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving), or ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving).
Regarding the ISFP match up,
Jessica Moore, a licensed dynamic emotional integration (DEI) specialist tells Bustle, "Sure, they might have disagreements about how often to socialize with friends, but as long as they enjoy spending time together, the introvert/extrovert difference won't matter much. And in every other way they'll be on the same page, and will very easily 'get' each other."
In fact, if someone seems like your opposite, that can actually be a good thing. "The upside to all of the types is that they are not set in stone; they are preferences," the Spencers say. "We can learn and grow in our relationships by our willingness to further develop our own inferior and less dominant traits."
2 If you are ESTP: ESTJ, ESFP, INFJ
According to Tanaka, an ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) type will be super compatible with both ESTJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) and ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving), which makes sense due to having so many similarities. But they'll also match up well with one type that doesn't seem as likely: INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging).
"You may believe that since none of the letters match, you should eliminate this person as a dating candidate. And yet, this pairing is highly sensitive to one another," the Spencers say. "With the tertiary functions of a 'T' Thinker and an 'F' Feeler, effective communication is often positive and successful."
Why is that, you might ask? "The 'T' taps into [their] Feeling mode to understand where their partner is coming from."
3 If you are ESTJ: ESTP, ESFJ, ISTJ
Folks who are ESTJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) are most compatible with ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) and ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) types, according to Tanaka. But they can also find a healthy relationship with an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) type.
According to MyersBriggs.org,
ESTJs are active organizers, logical, assertive, analytical, and practical. And as such, when it comes to dating, they tend to appreciate a partner who can keep up, like an ESTP.
Another interesting thing to keep in mind, when comparing your results to someone else's, is how strong the results were. If you're ESTJ, were you
very Sensing, or just a little bit? Were you incredibly Thinking, or did your results fall in more neutral territory?
"In my view, the S/N, T/F, and P/J differences aren't a big deal for compatibility if the two people are close to the middle, but they will absolutely create compatibility issues if the two people are at the far ends of the spectrum," Moore says. "All of the personality indicators play a huge role in shared interests, but the E/I difference is less of an issue because it is the most easily managed in a relationship."
4 If you are ESFJ: ISTP, ESTJ, ESTP
ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) is best matched with ISTP types (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving), ESTJ types (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging) and ESTP types (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving).
ESFJs tend to relate best to other extroverts. And yet (are you sensing a theme?) it doesn't mean you should rule out certain types of introverts. In fact, there may be some types that'd really click with you.
Caleb Backe, a health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, tells Bustle, an introvert who possesses the Perceiving (P) trait will be more than happy to get out of their proverbial shell and try something new with you. So don't rule them out as your travel buddy. 5 If you are ISTJ: INFJ, ISTP, ISFJ
An ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) type should be on the lookout for an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) as "both are results and action-oriented," the Spencers say. "ISTJs are systematic in their thinking process," and will probably have a detailed checklist of what they're looking for in a partner.
While that level of planning might scare off other types, an INFJ will be all about it. Their approach to dating is equally logistical, the Spencers say, and goal-oriented.
But Tanaka says ISTJs should also be on the look out for ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) and ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) types, too. They'd get along equally well.
6 If you are ISTP: ISFP, INFP, ESFP
ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking Perceiving) will want someone who's on the same level as them.
"Although individuals possessing the Perceiving (P) trait may act more impulsively at times than those with the Judging (J) trait, two Perceivers usually get along wonderfully," Backe says. "They share an adventurous streak, and nobody will hold them back from trying something new."
These three types also all have Feeling in common, which helps to balance out the Thinking ISTP.
7 If you are ISFJ: ESFJ, ISFP, ISTJ
ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) types, also known as "Defenders," tend to be "deeply committed to kindness and giving in relationships,"
Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. And that might explain why you're always happiest with partners who put in the same amount of effort.
"Good matches for ISFJs are those that share common roots in Sensing and being attuned to what they can see rather than abstract ideas," she says. "They put more weight on their own personal experience and facts rather than intentions. In this way, good matches for them would be partners who can challenge some of their flexibility around the future and pairing with someone Extroverted may help them open up to different interactions with a wide variety of people. [This] can help them with their difficulty in conflictual situations."
8 If you are ISFP: ESFP, ISFJ, ESFJ
An ISFP (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) loves an adventure, and would "enjoy
sharing in mutual activities with a partner," Tcharkhoutian says. But they're also someone who likes to keep a tight lid on their emotions, and as a result might want a partner who prefers doing the same.
The second letter describes how you process your surroundings. For an ISFP, "it would be exhausting to match with an 'N' personality type who always wants to connect around Intuition and the "abstract," rather than Sensing the experiences of the here and now," Tcharkhoutian says.
While ISFPs are introverts, they actually match well with these types due to their inherent, extroverted sense of adventure. "And matching with the J traits may also help them to grow in planting a solid foundation from which they can also branch out and explore."
9 If you are ENTJ: INTJ, ENTP, ENFJ
ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) pairs well with INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging), most of all. "This is a compatible dating match," the Spencers say. "The core or 'heart' of this type is the 'NT,'" which means they have strong intuition and thinking preferences.
"The 'NT' core is exciting and stimulating for this pairing. Discussions, especially deep-level ones, are like foreplay for this combination," they says. "And the bonus is these relationships are relatively drama-free. Trust and reliability are equally embraced with this couple."
And according to Tanaka, ENTJ is also highly compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). Again, it's all thanks to that extroversion, as well as an ability to connect intuitively.
10 If you are ENTP: ENTJ, ENFP, ENFJ
ENTPs (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) are most compatible with ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) folks, according to Tanaka. But they also can pair well with other extroverted types, like ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging).
As noted on MyersBriggs.org, ENTPs are
energetic, inventive, and enthusiastic individuals. And if you apply those traits to relationships, it makes sense why ENTJ, ENFP, and ENFJ would complement them well, as they'd have a lot in common.
Remember, though, that sometimes an Introverted personality may help balance out more Extroverted, gregarious types, so don't eliminate all the homebody prospects that come your way, as you might actually benefit from what they have to offer.
11 If you are ENFJ: ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP
ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) is one type that does well with someone just like themselves.
"Two ENFJs are great," the Spencers say. "They both like social gatherings, usually enjoy a wide network of people, are easy communicators, enjoy planning activities and adventures for the future, and ENFJ’s value organization and harmony in life. Often sensitive and warm-hearted people pleasers, they are eager to reach resolution to misunderstandings and conflict. ENFJ’s place a high value on relationships because they authentically care about people. If you’re an ENFJ, your dating life with another ENFJ will be a blast."
But INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) types can make great matches, too.
"An ENFJ is a nurturing, intuitive 'giver' who truly values connection," Tcharkhoutian says. "They would match with either an introvert or an extrovert because they appreciate social interaction and would enjoy someone who also appreciates social interaction. Additionally, having an introverted partner would be a good opportunity for an ENFJ to peel back the layers of personality and get to connect on a deeper layer, which can be a challenging and rewarding experience for the nurturing ENFJ."
12 If you are ENFP: ENTJ, INTJ, INTP
For ENFP, (Extroverted, Intuitive Feeling, Perceiving), ENTJ (Extroverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging), INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging), and INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) pair best. And there's a pretty good reason why. "ENFPs are constant sources of inspiration, but might not necessarily have the drive to follow through," Eric Gee, of
YoutopiaProject.com, tells Bustle. "ENTJs, while not exactly fountains of creative energy, have great ambition (think Hermione Granger) and the force of will to take the ENFP's ideas ... and make them happen." When together, these two can move mountains.
INTJ is another great pairing. "Not as forceful as an ENTJ, but just as organized, INTJs will plan the hell out of all the ENFPs crazy, off-the-cuff inspirations," Gee says. "As partners, the two types would teach each other many things: INTJs would learn that you can't always foresee every possible outcome in life, which is what makes being human so fun. ENFPs would learn that you are not always great at everything, and that caution and planning often lead to better results than unbridled spirit."
INTP may also make a great partner, since they too can balance out an ENFP. "If ENFPs have great vision, INTPs have great distance. Their emotional objectivity helps calm and give clarity to the often hyper-sensitive ENFPs," says Gee. "The more pragmatic 'NTs' give ENFPs focus in action. INTPs give them confidence in their ideas."
13 If you are INTJ: INTP, INFJ, INFP
INTJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) need someone who can either embrace their introverted side, or help balance it out. And that's why, according to Tanaka, INTPs (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) and INFJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) are compatible with this type.
To figure what you need, Tanaka suggests asking yourself a few questions. "As a partner, do you want to be with someone who gains energy in the same way? Someone who processes internally?" Or would you be OK with a partner who gains energy by being social, and might help you do the same?
If communicating is more important to you, you might feel happiest with an INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling Perceiving), "as both excel at being proficient communicators," the Spencers say. "They both share a love of discussion; they both share appreciation for their internal musings and ideas. Their 'N’S' are well-aligned and they get one another."
14 If you are INTP: ENTP, INFP, ENFP
INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) is most compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving), INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), according to Moore.
"In my experience, differences in extroversion/introversion (E/I) are not deal-breakers, because being different in that way doesn't make you less compatible when you are
together (just how often you would each prefer to go to parties)," she seays. "And differences in Thinking/Feeling (T/F) can often be complementary, as Thinking people often appreciate more Feeling in their personal relationships, and Feeling people often appreciate a steady logical presence in a partner."
So if a busy social life isn't the main focus in your relationship, you may be able to happily connect in other ways.
15 If you are INFJ: ISTJ, INFP, INTJ
As the Spencers mentioned above, someone who is an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) will match up well with someone who's ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging), since both folks are "results and action-oriented."
They're all about making checklists and thinking things through, and that often means they take a very measured approach to dating — as well as to life in general. It's also why they might not get along well with someone who has opposite or conflicting qualities, as these strong traits will just cause them to butt heads.
According to Tanaka, INFJs should also look out for people who are INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) or INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging), due to having several core qualities in common.
16 If you are INFP: INFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ
INFP types are "Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving."
According to the Spencers, the most compatible dating partners for an INFP would be INFJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging), ISFJs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), and ENFJs (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). "Notice the 'F' (Feeling) is common in all three and none of the three have a 'P' (Perceiving) for their last letter preference," they say.
That's because two Perceiving types don't always mix well. "We smile when we say that having 'two Ps in a pod' is not a good thing. Two Ps can never make decisions: where to go out on a date, what restaurant to pick, what to order, what time, etc.," the Spencers say. This can get annoying fast, since you'll struggle with dating momentum.
INFPs also get along well with Judging types, as long as that person has strong Feeling characteristics to make up for it. "The J cannot have a very clear strong preference, because they will most likely become frustrated with their P's lack of decision-making," they say. But "if the J has a strong F, that will usually override their annoyance."
Sources: Jan Tanaka, certified MBTI practitioner Poppy and Geoff Spencer, LCPC, Myers-Briggs certified coaches Jessica Moore, licensed dynamic emotional integration (DEI) specialist Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist