Every human — no matter how much of a selective fashionista they are — has a few embarrassing clothing items lingering in their wardrobe. From that beautiful, bargain-buy skirt that’s way too short to your favorite pair of jeans that ripped in the crotch when you were giving your best attempt at twerking, you're bound to have at least one or two golden pieces that hold special memories in your heart (or that you just can't be bothered to throw away).
For me personally, my most embarrassing item is a pair of stilettos. I don't just mean embarrassing as in, "I can't believe I ever liked those." More like: "I can't believe the sartorial-lover in me hasn't moved on and replaced them." The heels are absolutely gorgeous — some might even say breathtaking. When I first saw them on the sales rack for a whopping $18, I knew it was a sign. So, I obviously bought them, without ever thinking to try the suckers on. Flash forward to a couple of hours later, when I realized I could barely walk across my bedroom. Sighs.
Such is the story of my favorite pair of shorts from middle school (too much booty showing), my guacamole-stained graduation dress (it happened on the first wear), and, well, my beloved pajamas from my 10th birthday that are ripped beyond belief. To sympathize with all my fellow humans, fashionistas included, here are nine items in your closet that you probably hate to love.
1. A Special Occasion Dress From High School
Prom was easily the fanciest event I ever attended — you know, in that weird, almost tastelessly fancy kind of way. Naturally, I plan on holding onto my dress as a memory of not only prom itself, but the feeling of being an idealistic teenager prepping for high school's version of the Met Gala.
2. Jeans That Have Something Wrong With Them
Jeans are really hard to shop for, so when you find a pair that fits you better than any other you have ever tried on, it will occupy a special place in your heart. Whether they became too tight, too loose, got ripped, stained, or have a broken zipper, it's difficult to find the courage to give up a perfect (well, besides the one flaw) pair of pants.
3. A Borrowed Something
Remember that one time your friend/sister/aunt/mom let you borrow a shirt? Remember how you never gave it back? It’s OK. Whether you intended to give it back and just forgot or you purposefully never mentioned it because you wanted the item for yourself, the situation is inevitable.
4. A Ripped Something
One of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to your clothes is to see them completely fall apart. Sometimes a seam rips, sometimes a zipper gets caught, and other times it shrinks in the wash. It’s never easy to see a beloved piece of clothing become completely unwearable because of a defect. No matter how many times I stick my foot through the hole in my jeans and stretch it out grotesquely, I'm never going to learn my lesson.
5. A Stained Something
You can use that Tide To Go pen all you want, but there are some stains that are completely lethal and will ruin your garment forever. It’s fine, I’m not bitter at all. I'll just hold onto it anyway, in case the robots of the future invent a truly magical stain eraser.
6. Shoes You’ll Never Wear
As you probably already guessed, I have a special place in my soul for shoes I can’t wear. No matter the pain and discomfort that’s required to wear them, I take great pleasure out of simply looking at 'em. They’re closet decorations, OK?
7. A (Bad) Gift
Dear Mom: I love you so much, but please stop shopping for me. No matter how great you think I will look in a ballet tutu-turned skirt, I’m not going to wear it. Just because I love you and I want to please you, however, I’ll keep it in my closet.
8. A White Wedding-esque Dress
I don't plan on getting married anytime soon, if ever. That being said, it never hurts to be prepared. If, by chance, life throws an impromptu wedding your way, you won't have to scramble for the perfect outfit. You'll simply reach into your wardrobe and pick out your trusty white dress. Very reasonable.
9. A Past-Life Memorabilia
If I told you how many Jonas Brothers T-shirts I had in my closet, you would probably be embarrassed for me. That being said, we all have relics of our past hobbies or interests somewhere lodged in our stuff. Mine happens to be a Limited Too Jo Bro shirt.
Your embarrassing wears might consist of trucker hats, velour tracksuits, or even one of those horrible, scrunchy shirts. No matter how out of style or humiliation-inducing they are, these items are essential to hold onto for a good laugh or a trip down Nostalgia Boulevard.
Images: Melodi Erdogan