The Ultimate Taylor Swift Starter Pack (Calvin Harris And Private Jet Not Included)
I love Taylor Swift. You, dear reader, probably also love Taylor Swift. How did I know that? Because everyone loves Taylor Swift. From politicians to cats to every single celebrity ever (as is evidenced by the diverse and ever-growing list of people she's had onstage this tour), Taylor Swift is the common link that holds this world together. I imagine other life forms in other universes are blasting 1989 on repeat in their rocket ships while scouring through space. Even if you're the 0.000001% who claims to not like Swift's music, I can still see you mouthing the lyrics to "I Knew You Were Trouble" when it comes on the radio, and I know you secretly listen to "Shake It Off" when you're in bed after a bad day.
And what's not to love about Swift? She's worked hard to be this successful, is always so kind, and has shared a lot of valuable advice. If you're like me, then you probably check her Twitter and Tumblr on a daily basis for some style inspiration or just to shake your head and chuckle at Meredith and Olivia's latest shenanigans. While some might argue that a Taylor Swift obsession becomes unhealthy at a certain point (YOU'RE WRONG — LOOKING AT YOU, MOM), I for one believe that you can never have enough Taylor Swift. If your lifelong goal is to become Taylor Swift, then lucky you — here's a starter pack to help you get started (Calvin Harris and private jet not included). To quote Mean Girls: "I saw Taylor Swift wearing red lipstick and cat flats, so I bought red lipstick and cat flats."
Seeing Swift rock out sold-out shows in major stadiums across the world, it's hard to imagine that she started out with just her acoustic guitar at talent shows and open mics. And yet it's true, and on every tour, Swift has always made a point to include a portion of the show where she gets back to her roots: just her and her guitar. If you'd like, you can buy a "Taylor Swift Baby Taylor" that was designed by Swift and has her signature printed on the instrument. You really can't get a more Taylor Swift-esque guitar than one called the Taylor Swift Baby Taylor.
If by this point you don't know that Swift is the quintessential cat lady, then I really don't know what to say to you. In addition to owning two actual cats, Swift has frequently been spotted wearing cat-themed shoes and purses, and even features her feline pals on her own merch. Major props if you name your cats after TV characters such as, oh, I don't know, Dr. Meredith Grey or Detective Olivia Benson. But just start with one, and when you feel comfortable enough, work your way up to two. And don't worry about finding a catsitter on the nights that you want to go out to a Hollywood party — that's what your world-famous DJ boyfriend is there for.
Can you remember the last time you didn't see Swift in red lipstick? While there've been a few occasions where she's rocked an awesome pink or nude lip, she's stuck to a fierce red shade for the most part. There are an endless number of gorgeous red lipsticks out there that will immediately step up your lip game to Taylor Swift-level, so it's really about trying out different brands and shades until you find one that you feel you can really own. Swift's personal faves include Nars Dragon Girl and MAC Ruby Woo.
(Lots And Lots Of) Glitter
Whether it's her famous super sparkly guitar or her shiny tour outfits, Swift loves her glitter. You don't want to overdo it and look like you've gone for a swim in a sea of sparkles (although I can just imagine Swift casually poking her toes in said sea), but always have at least one glittery accessory on you. And if you're one of those weird people who doesn't like glitter, then I don't think you can be Taylor Swift. (But honestly, who doesn't love glitter? Glitter solves everything.)
While Calvin Harris bragged about Swift's grilling skills, we all know her true culinary strength lies in baking. Remember when she challenged Jamie Oliver to Bake It Off and totally kicked ass? Or got all her celeb friends to help make a gorgeous Fourth of July cake? Or formed a new baking-themed girl group? Or gave Tumblr her chai sugar cookie recipe? You get the picture. Alternatively, if you're like me and are worried how many fire alarms would go off if you tried to bake a cake, you could just munch on her BFF's Karlie's Kookies and pretend you, Swift, and Kloss whipped them up together in your kitchen while taking cute Instagram photos.
If you've seen the video montage of Taylor wrapping gifts for fans, you already know that girl has mad arts and crafts skills. Throughout the years, Swift has executed several crafts that are Pinterest-worthy, from needlepoints to snow globes to watercolor. Now it'll probably be the case that the majority of us imitating Swift will end up with things that belong on a "Pinterest Gone Wrong" BuzzFeed list, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying! I'm sure even Swift has a few needlepointing-gone-awry anecdotes! (Actually no, I don't think she does because she's perfect at everything on the first try.)
FRIENDS Box Set
Swift's been a huge fan of Friends for a long time, but it wasn't until she brought out Matt LeBlanc during Style and sang "Smelly Cat" with Phoebe that she cemented her super-fan status. As such, it only makes sense that she owns a box set of the whole show. Actually, I'm guessing she has one at each of her houses, and one to take with her on tour. Owning the entire Friends series is a must if you want to become Swift, or at least hang out with her. I mean, think how embarrassing it'd be if she came over for a sleepover and the power went out and she was like, "Hey, you know what this reminds me of? The One With The Blackout. Do you wanna watch it?" And you had to go, "Sorry, the internet's down as well so I can't open Netflix and I don't have the box set." Totes awks.
When Swift began posting clues about the 1989 CD announcement, rumors began circulating that her new single/album would be called Polaroid. But Swift has been a fan of Polaroid cameras long before the release of 1989, often posting Instagram pics of her vacation and party Polaroids. If you hunt around on Etsy or eBay, you'll find loads of great deals for Polaroid cameras; be warned, though, that while the camera itself may be relatively cheap, it's the film that costs a small fortune. Make sure each of your Polaroids count and that they're whimsy and Instagram-worthy enough that Swift would approve. And remember: captions and dates are important, and must be written in Sharpie!
Images: Getty Images; Giphy (6)