In college I dated a guy whom my friends and I affectionately called “Two-Second Tom,” because every time he and I had sex, it was over in about two seconds. In some cases, he’d get his penis as far as my thighs, then come. It got to the point where he only felt comfortable having sex after drinking, which then, of course, led to him taking so long to come that sometimes I’d have to pinch myself to stay awake. But these experiences with Tom, and the others who followed, led me to wonder exactly how long is sex supposed to last. Is there a suitable amount of time? Well, according to a new survey the average length of time sex lasts 7.3 minutes. I guess Two-Second Tom wasn’t that far off.
Adam & Eve polled thousands of Americans to see who’s doing it, how often, with how many people, where they’re finding these people, and of course, how long these trysts are lasting. What they found is that, with foreplay not included, the average sex session is that lowly 7.3 minutes. But while that may make you yell out, “WTF,” as I just did, not all is lost. The study also found that the average foreplay session lasts 20 minutes, more than 31 percent of those polled reported enjoying 30 minutes of sexin’ it up, and 12.5 percent are getting action that lasts an hour or more. Go them!
With these stats now out in the open, it brings us to another important question: How can you make sex last longer? For those of you grumbling about your 7.3 minutes, here are seven ways to make that happen.
1. Do Your Kegel Exercises
See? I’ve been telling you how important it is to do your Kegel exercises, and a 2014 study reiterated how important they are for your sex life. The study out of Rome not only found that Kegel exercises are beneficial for women in helping them to have better orgasms, but they can benefit men, too. When guys exercise their pelvic floor muscles, they can last four times longer during hetero sex. You can say bye-bye, pre-cum.
2. Change Up Your Usual Techniques
According to research by sex coach Catherine Toyooka, men, especially, can benefit from changing things a bit in bed. Instead of just getting in there and staying in there, she suggests teasing a male partner by taking a break from penetration to do other things. If you don’t have any place to be, you might as well take advantage of all that time you have.
3. Lay Off The Meat
If you find you have a deep love for bacon, but are lacking stamina in bed, then it might be time to switch over to vegetarian bacon instead. A study by Yale found that vegetarians have far more stamina than meat-eaters, and even that meat-eating athletes don’t have the endurance that their vegetarian counterparts have. Endurance, during sex, is essential in making it last longer.
If you're having hetero sex and your partner is on the brink of that 7.3
minutes, and he’s about to come, then squeeze his penis. Yes, really!
According to research, if either you or your partner squeeze the penis right below the head, it can keep that orgasm from happening. The reason this works is because the pressure is applied to the urethra and it helps push the blood that has rushed to the penis back a bit, which can stop that ejaculation from happening too fast.
5. Masturbate Often
When we masturbate, we learn how to control our orgasms. In masturbating often, and this goes for both men and women, you can teach yourself to get close to orgasm, “edging,” as it’s called, then bring yourself back down. In mastering this technique, both you and your partner can make sex last a hell of a lot longer. It’s also just another reason to masturbate ― not that you needed one.
6. Numb Things Up
Since the reason sex with a male partner can be a little quicker than we’d sometimes like is due to men getting a little too excited, a way to remedy that is to numb the penis. I’m serious! There are actually sprays, “local anesthetics,” if you will, that can numb the penis so he can last longer. There are also condoms that are extra thick to provide the same benefits, but without the numbing sensation that sprays cause.
7. Stop Thinking About Having An Orgasm
Sex doesn’t have to result in an orgasm for it be good. According to sexual health expert, Dr. Laura Berman, if we stop seeing orgasms as the “end goal,” then we’re more able to slow things down, and focus on all the other sensations involved in sex. Yes, orgasms are great, but isn’t sex longer than 7.3 minutes even greater? I’m going to answer that for you: Yes.
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy(7)