Ahhh weddings! A magical day where family and friends gather to eat, drink, and be married, as the Etsy artwork says. Though I have yet to tie the knot, I've attended and been in my fair share of weddings. And if there is one thing I've learned, it's that no matter how unique a couple tries to make their day of matrimony, certain aspects are always the same. Someone is bound to break the wedding dress code. There is sure to be some sort of disaster. And you are guaranteed to run into a slew of colorful characters at the reception.
While it's true that no two guest lists are ever alike, there are multiple personalities that make their way to every ceremony. You could be a professional bridesmaid or a nuptial newbie, and you will still run into a groomsman who has had one too many shots and an aunt who is a little too emotional for the occasion. But we don't fault these guests for their minor personality flaws. After all, they are just as important to the wedding as the bride and groom.
So next time you witness two people saying "I do," see if you can spot these 15 guests. Chances are you'll bump into all of them before the bride tosses her bouquet.
1. The Bitter Bridesmaid
A member of the bridal party and the pity party, this lady loves feeling sorry for herself. When she's not standing beside the bride, she's complaining about her single status to anyone who will listen (or is just too polite to run away).
2. The Frat-tastic Groomsman
He's there for the open bar... and not much else. Though he's honored to stand by his bro on the big day, his priority is to get drunk and dance till his clothes come off. And trust us, they will.
3. The Six Degrees Separator
Even the bride and groom aren't quite sure how this person scored an invite. But after asking around, they remember that he is the son of a second cousin of an aunt of a friend of the bride's father.
4. The Judgmental Grandma
She scoffs at the bride's cleavage-baring dress and rolls her eyes upon seeing the DIY decor. Mind you, this guest does not have to be an actual grandma to offer her unwanted opinion.
5. The Unofficial Photographer
She has a drink in one hand and an iPhone in the other. While she captures some sweet candid moments, she's too busy thinking of the perfect caption to enjoy the fun. #weddingstruggle
6. The Overly Emotional Aunt
She is just ::sniff:: so ::sniff:: happy ::sniff:: for the bride ::sniff:: and ::sniff:: groom. In between her tear-filled tangents, she shares stories about the bride that only lead to more crying.
7. The Drunk Uncle
He's the reason the couple considered a dry wedding. Unable to hold his liquor or off-color commentary, this relative will be found passed out in the bathroom by the end of the night.
8. The One Upper
This couple got married outdoors. She got married outdoors... in Italy. This couple served filet mignon. She served filet mignon... and lobster. But don't get the wrong idea. She thinks this wedding is "absolutely adorable."
9. The Faux Foodie
You'd think this guy was a judge on Top Chef by the way he eats his dinner. Every bite is followed by a comment on appearance, flavor, and originality.
10. The Creepy Cousin
He spends dinner staring you down from across the room, and offers an awkward wave when you finally make eye contact. While he's probably harmless, it may be best to avoid him on the dance floor.
11. The Resident Hottie
Sporting a suit and winning smile, he makes all the women swoon. Be ready to fight for his attention, especially against that cute but cunning flower girl.
12. The "Kiss Kiss" Chanter
She constantly hits her champagne flute in hopes of witnessing a good lip-lock between the bride and groom. At first you find it cute, but after a few minutes you start thinking of ways to steal her glass.
13. The Dancing Queen
This lady is the life of the party... or at least the dance floor. Though she specializes in the "Cupid Shuffle" and "YMCA," she's not afraid to bust out her own unique moves.
14. The Debbie Downer
Forget politics or pop culture. This guest would rather discuss divorce stats with her dinner mates. Though it'd be easy to start an argument with the resident pessimist, I suggest you simply smile and nod.
15. The Mic Hog
He may not be the best man or father of the bride, but that doesn’t stop this guest from making a speech. Depending on how many drinks he's had, his sentiments could be super sweet or hilariously awkward. Either way, you're happy to sit back and listen.
Images: Universal Pictures; Wiffle Gif