Hypothetically, happy couples would never fight or argue; they'd simply coexist in harmony, forever infatuated with one another. In reality,
having a disagreement with your partner is something that's inevitable, even in healthy, happy relationships. Because even if you're totally in love, you're not always going to have the exact same opinion or viewpoint as your partner — and those moments of disagreement are not only normal, but can actually be healthy for your relationship, depending on how you handle them.
"It is always OK and healthy to have disagreements in a relationship — disagreeing is not a concern but rather the
way we disagree that determines the health of the relationship," Kelsey Latimer, PhD, CEDS-S, assistant director at Center for Discovery, tells Bustle. "If we are open to hearing the other person, staying away from bringing up the past, and not labeling the person in the disagreement, then disagreeing can be a sign of health in a relationship and separation between the two people."
fun to have an argument with your partner? Of course not — but it's also totally normal, and nothing that can't be worked through if you both know how to communicate in a healthy way. As proof that *all* couples have disagreements, here are 13 examples of things that couples fight about, courtesy of a recent AskReddit thread.
How To Split Household Chores
Living with your partner can be fun in a lot of ways: you get to cuddle every night, decorate your home together, and even get a pet or two if you want. The bad news? There's also the less exciting (but totally necessary) task of deciding how to divide chores in your relationship, which can definitely cause some friction if you don't see eye-to-eye.
How Much Time To Spend With Family
When you're in a long-term relationship (and especially if you're married), you're not just attached to your partner: you're
attached to their entire family, too. But unfortunately, not everyone loves their in-laws — which means it's not always easy to come to a compromise about how much time you have to spend with your families.
Leaving Shoes On In The House
There are two kinds of households: shoes-on and shoes-off — and being in a relationship with someone who's on the opposite side of the coin as you on this divisive issue can be tricky.
How Much Planning Is Necessary
Some people seem like they're born with a day planner already in their hand, while others are basically allergic to any kind of forethought when it comes to making plans. Needless to say, being in a relationship with someone who is more/less of a planner than you are can cause some issues from time to time.
As someone who's perpetually early, I honestly can't imagine being in a relationship with an always-late kind of person. But hey, if you can, more power to you!
To have a happy relationship, you don't necessarily have to hold the exact
same political beliefs as your partner — but there's also the possibility for those ideological differences to cause arguments from time to time.
Their Thoughts On Children
One area that can be a major dealbreaker for even the happiest of couples? Their
thoughts on having children — like whether or not to have their own, adopt, or even have any at all.
How Much Clutter Is Acceptable
Everyone likes a different level of cleanliness in their home, and if you and your partner are on opposite ends of the spectrum, it can cause major friction.
Not everyone likes to
unwind and recharge in the same way, which means that in a relationship, deciding how to spend your days off can require a lot of compromise.
When it comes to parenting, there are
tons of decisions you and your partner will have to make together — but you probably won't always be on the exact same page about how to raise your kids.
Being Friendly With Exes
One thing that can be particularly hard for couples to compromise on? Location — if one of you is a suburban kid at heart and the other is obsessed with city life,
one of you will have to make some sacrifices when it comes to where you settle down.
Who Loves The Other More
Now that's just plain adorable.
To be totally honest, it's basically inevitable that you and your partner are going to have disagreements sometimes. What
really matters, and shows the strength of your relationship, is how you handle those arguments — because if you're able to communicate and compromise, there's (almost) no disagreement you won't be able to work through.