I love sexting. In fact, I think I get more excited hearing descriptions of what someone might like to do with me than actually doing it. Anticipation is sexy! But when it comes time to start a sext conversation, I get totally tongue-tied — or rather, finger-tied. So, over the years, I’ve come up with some openers that make the conversation more comfortable.
If you're nervous about initiating a sexy conversation, Caitlin V. Neal, MPH, clinical sexologist and sexpert for Royal, tells Bustle that communication is key. For instance, some people get nervous about sexting because they don't know what to say. If that's a concern for you, be honest and let your partner know. "Perhaps they'll be willing to take the lead, to reassure you of how attractive you are, or they might have some naughty ideas and inspiration that you can run with," Neal says.
It may actually be helpful to show your partner this list if you’d like to start sexting with them. Some people are reluctant to try sexting because they’re afraid they won’t do a good job and giving them some suggestions ensures they will.
This should go without saying, but you should only send these kinds of messages to someone you have an established relationship with and know would enjoy them. "You don't want to initiate only to find out that they're not in the right headspace for it — that could be a big turn off," Neal says. Be sure to read the situation as best as you can to see if they're in the mood and available for it. If you’re not sure, try asking if sexting is something they’d be into before thrusting it on them (no pun intended).
Once that’s taken care of, here are a few lines to try if you want to sext with your partner but don’t know where to start.
1. "I’ve Been Thinking Dirty Thoughts About You Lately. Do You Want To Hear Them?"
This question helps test the waters if you’re not sure whether they’ll be into it (or whether you’re approaching them at a good time).
2. "I’ve Been Thinking About Doing Naughty Things To You."
Another variation of the above that begs the question, “What things?”
3. "It’s Been Too Long Since I’ve Felt Your Hands On My Body."
Everyone also likes to feel missed, even if you just saw each other this morning.
4. "When Was The Last Time You Touched Yourself?"
Inquiring minds want to know.
5. "I Just Touched Myself While Thinking About How You Feel."
This gives them two nice images to meditate on.
6. "I Want To Make You Feel So Good."
Who doesn’t want that?
7. "What Would You Do To Me If You Were Here Right Now?"
Make them do some of the work.
8. "I Missed You In Bed Next To Me Last Night."
Then, the conversation can turn to what you’d do if they were next to you.
9. "I Can’t Stop Staring At Photos Of You."
This one can be as sexual as you want it to be.
10. "I Am Dying Of Horniness Over Here."
No shame in admitting it.
11. "You Know What I’ve Wanted To Try In Bed Lately?"
This question’s benefits will last long beyond the sexting.
12. "What Do You Want To Try In Bed Next Time We See Each Other?"
Let them make a suggestion.
13. "I Want To Know How You Touch Yourself."
That’ll put a hot image in your head and teach you how to please your partner.
Try one of these tonight, and your phone will provide its own form of erotica for days to come.
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