We all want to support our significant others. But a little-discussed part of being a supportive partner, especially to women and gender-nonconforming people, is being a feminist — and there are many anti-feminist things we often tell our partners without realizing it. To cultivate healthy relationships where both people feel like equals, we need to examine how we talk to each other with particular attention to the way we might be perpetuating oppression. The same sexism that happens in society at large can replicate itself in individual relationships if we're not careful.
If you Google the word "feminism," the definition that pops up is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." This definition is actually a bit narrow — feminism is really the advocacy of everyone's rights — but it serves as a good place to start. If you're in any way undermining the rights of women or any other group, you're being anti-feminist, whether you intend to be or not. And we all do this from time to time, so saying something anti-feminist doesn't make you a "bad feminist" or not a feminist. It just means you could be a better one, and that you've now learned a lesson to carry forward into the future.
Here are some anti-feminist things we need to stop telling our partners if we want to help them live free from gender norms.