9 People Reveal How Donald Trump's Presidency Has Affected Their Sex Lives
Many of us would probably prefer to keep politics out of our bedrooms. But unfortunately, we haven't all had that option lately. A case in point: I asked people how the political climate has affected their sex lives, and their answers were pretty depressing. Donald Trump has caused many people stress, arguments, and even breakups.
There's plenty of data to support the idea that politics have been affecting our sex lives lately. A survey by the fertility app Kindara found that almost one in five female Democrats and one in 10 female Republicans were having less fun in bed because of the election. And politics are also affecting who we might go to bed with. Almost half of Millennials in a survey by the polling app Wishbone said they wouldn't date someone due to their politics.
"Women are scared right now, and for good reason," Dr. Laura Berman, sex therapist and author of new self-help book Quantum Love, tells Bustle. "They might choose to exorcise that fear by trying to "reclaim" power in the bedroom, by experimenting sexually or trying sexual acts they might not have considered before. As a kind of "eff you" to the conservatives in power. Or perhaps they will shut down and grow cold towards strangers, especially strange men. I've had women tell me that they looked suspiciously around their community after the election, thinking 'Did you vote for him?' All of this is going to have impact on how we relate to people, both inside and outside the bedroom."
But while Trump's presidency has been an annoyance for some, it's been downright traumatic for others. Some sexual assault survivors were understandably triggered by the Access Hollywood video in which Trump says that if you're famous, you can "grab [women] by the pussy." Others are concerned about getting pregnant due to the administration's setbacks for reproductive rights.
More specifically, here are some way Trump's presidency has affected our sex lives.
1. Amanda, 25
"My boyfriend of seven years is fairly apolitical, but I feel incredibly strongly about many of the issues arising under the Trump administration. When I try to bring up the latest f*cked-up ruling against the protection of trans children or the appointment of some new ignoramus to Trump's cabinet, my boyfriend will sometimes ask these really ignorant questions that result in me getting upset and then us fighting about it. Stress is high, and libido is low. Let me put it this way: We haven't had sex since the Inauguration."
2. Camille, 45
"Now, when I am stalking exes on Facebook, if I see they are Trump supporters, it immediately ruins my pants-feelings for them. So I guess it is negatively impacting my sex life by ruining fantasies that have sustained me for more than 20 years in some cases. It has brought me closer to my husband because we both hate Trump, but we refrain from thinking or talking about him during sex. Pence's presence in the mainstream media, on the other hand, affects me sexually much in the same way as leaping naked into a snowbank might affect me sexually. Or possibly covering my body with honey and lying on an anthill."
3. Juls, 32
"Definitely contemplating abstinence to ensure zero accidents of any kind (fetal or otherwise)."
4. Chelsea, 24
"The healthcare aspect of it feels riskier now (will I have access to STI testing, birth control, and abortion in the near future?!), but I also feel like every time I have an orgasm from my vibrator or from someone who's not my husband, Mike Pence gets a paper cut, so that's been positive."
5. Raya, 26
"I have had countless conversations over romantic dinners with my partner about the country's state of affairs. The sex is great, too: I'm a Democrat who has been banging my Republican partner for years. We are both feminists. ... You never know who you might take a chance on."
6. Daniel, 27
"Surprisingly well! A number of parties I've been to in the past month have involved a bit of an end-of-the-world mentality, which sometimes just leads to sad drinking but other times means people are more eager to take risks, want to hook up, etc."
7. Jenny, 28
"The stress makes me not sleep and therefore have less sex because I'm tired. Reading about Trump before bed is now a no-no in our house because I seriously can't sleep after all this stressful news every single day."
8. J, 25
"[I've had] some discussion that lead to cuddles and consoling rather than coitus."
“I'm really struggling to drum up any semblance of attraction for men as an entire sex. White men specifically. It's true, I live in NYC, so there are some legitimately good guys here who have their acts together — but in general, it's been tough to feel drawn to a sex that has reacted so poorly to so many current issues and just generally adopted a role of judgmental privilege during this entire national saga. This whole sisterhood movement rapidly growing has made me feel almost related to half of our country, and simultaneously foreign from the rest. I still have sexual urges, but I feel no desire to quell them with the men around me.”
So, in case you couldn't tell, a lot of Americans' sex lives are being affected negatively right now. But hey, I was glad to see at least a couple notable exceptions.