There are so many annoying things about dating. From unsolicited d*ck pics to breadcrumbing, the process of finding a partner can feel like a long and winding road for anyone who dabbles in online dating. With Valentine's Day swiftly approaching, it's easy to get bummed out about your relationship status (unless you're happily in love, in which case ugh). But those of you bold enough to voice your romantic woes aloud know there's one thing that makes being single especially unbearable: constantly receiving dating advice from your friends and family.
For their annual Singles in America study, Match asked over 5,500 single folks across the country, ages 18-70+, for their opinions on all things dating and sex, and there was one particularly surprising thing that a majority of Millennials agreed on. A whopping 65 percent of singles said they think dating advice isn't useful. When it's coming from a trusted source who A) knows the whole story and B) has your best interests at heart, of course there's no harm in listening to the advice and then evaluating whether or not to take it to heart. But otherwise, it can be super frustrating to repeatedly hear the same tired clichés, especially when the person giving you 'helpful dating tips' isn't someone you really know and trust.
1"You've Got To Put Yourself Out There"
While it's true that dating takes effort and you won't see results unless you get out of your comfort zone, it's kinda irritating to have someone tell you to "put yourself out there." Out where? I'm gonna need you to be a little more specific.
On a serious note, it's true that you need to be active about dating if you're seeking a relationship, but that doesn't mean you need to fling yourself blindly into the dating pool if you're not ready — whether that's emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. Instead of slapping someone's butt baseball-coach style and saying go get 'em champ, try to personalize your advice and think of productive ways for them to switch up their dating habits to yield better results.
2"Don't Be So Picky"
In some ways, this is good advice, because it's easy to use "pickiness" as an excuse to not meet anyone at all. That being said, there's nothing wrong with having deal-breakers — as long as your mind is open when it comes to the littler things. Being picky is subjective, and it's up to you to reflect and figure out whether you're rejecting people for valid reasons, or merely self-sabotaging by being hyper-critical of potential partners.
3"It Will Happen When You Least Expect It"
If you're perpetually single, you've probably heard this a million times before — and it never gets less irritating. Yes, patience is a virtue. Yes, relationships can blossom at any time. The sentiment is nice, but I understand why it's one of Millennials' most-hated dating clichés: it's vague, and implies that we have no control over our love lives — which isn't really a comforting thought. The concept of love happening 'when you least expect it' is tired, so let's put this cliché to bed, shall we?
It's frustrating to get less-than-helpful dating advice, but it's also important to remember that you're in charge of your love life. There's nothing wrong with being single and happy, but if you want to change your relationship status, finding love is totally within your grasp.