I might be biased because of all the ~girly~ magazines I read as a tween, but I think it's at least somewhat true that our zodiac signs can actually reveal
a lot about our personalities: For example, I've always been painfully aware of how well I fit into the stubborn-but-loyal stereotype of my sign (Taurus). While not everyone exactly fits the mold for their sign, there are shared good and bad traits of each zodiac sign — and those traits can impact how we act in relationships, and even whom we're astrologically compatible with.
"All signs are capable of acting out from their 'dark' side," Craig Martin, astrologer, spiritual guide, and owner of
Sage of Stars, tells Bustle. "When we feel defensive or stressed, those bad behaviors can sometimes show up in our relationship. The interesting thing is that each side has a unique set of challenging qualities."
There are plenty of
reasons people admire each sign, but we all also have some less-than-perfect attributes that could potentially have a negative impact on our relationships, if left unchecked. IMO, it's always better to be aware of your shortcomings — that way, you can work on yourself and prevent those qualities from negatively affecting your relationships. In case you want to ~check yourself~ for any signs of bad relationship behavior, here are all the ways you might sabotage a relationship, based on your zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Selfishness, Impulsiveness, Arrogance, Inability to Compromise
Uh-oh, Aries — your desire to have the world revolve around you might get you into trouble, because
relationships are all about compromise. "Aries needs to look out for selfishness," Martin says. "If you don't want to include anybody else in decision-making then maybe you should just have a relationship with yourself."
And that's not the only thing that Aries needs to watch out for. Their tendency to steamroll those around them can also cause them to struggle in relationships. "[Aries'] strong-willed personality can lead them to miss out on special moments and important life opportunities," Astrologer
Valerie Mesa tells Bustle. "[Aries] struggles with friendships, romance and relationships in general."
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Stubbornness, Getting Too Comfortable, Inability To Compromise, Fear Of Being Wrong
Taurus' biggest downfall? Being too stubborn, too often. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be
able to admit when they're wrong, and compromise when necessary — so take note, Taurus. "Taurus should be sure that they are not just saying 'no' for the sake of saying 'no,'" Martin says. "Stubbornness is not pretty and relationships need a lot of yielding."
Plus, all that stubbornness can make Taurus resistant to change, which has a serious impact, beyond just stunting a relationship's growth: "[Taurus'] fear of change and/or being wrong can stifle their professional and spiritual growth," Mesa says.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Being Dismissive, Overthinking, Self-Sabotaging Behavior, Bad Listening Skills
When someone comes to Gemini with a problem, they have a hard time really listening and tend to just brush people off, which can really take a toll on a romantic partner. "Gemini is quick to dismiss real emotional needs in someone else," Martin says. "Please, put down that magazine and just listen for a minute."
also tends to self-sabotage by overthinking a relationship; they're too busy analyzing every little detail to really sit back and enjoy the day-to-day with their partner. "Getting caught up in the details can bring anxiety and restlessness," Mesa says. So just chill out and enjoy the ride, Gemini.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Worrying Too Much, Being Too Emotional, Resentfulness, Bottling Up Emotions
There's no need to be such a worrywart, Cancer: If you spend too time checking in on your partner, they'll eventually start to
feel like you're stifling them. "Cancer worries to the point of smothering," Martin says. "It's OK if I'm three minutes late for our date; I did not die in a fiery crash."
Unfortunately, Cancer's tendency to worry might just be a symptom of a larger problem. "[Cancer's] excessive emotions and resentfulness can lead to emotional manipulation and bitterness," Mesa says. It's good to be attuned to your emotions, Cancer, but it's unhealthy to bottle all those excessive feelings up and
lash out at your partner later.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Putting Your Relationship On Display, Being Egotistical, Competitiveness
You know those people on Facebook who
only post about how wonderful their partner is? That's Leo, to a T — they love to put their relationship on display for the whole world to see, which can get exhausting for their partner. "Leo, the whole world is not your stage, and you should stop treating your romance like they are a prop in your story," Martin says.
But again, this tendency is actually just be the tip of the iceberg. Leo might love to parade their relationship purely for the ego boost, because they're known to be egotistical and competitive. "Their ego can be their worst enemy," Mesa says. "Similar to Aries, there can be struggles within relationships."
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Being Overly Critical, Being Too Controlling, Getting Lost In The Details, Being A Perfectionist
Virgo's biggest flaw is that they're super critical and can make their partners feel like they're not good enough, even if they're *actually* happy in the relationship. "Virgo is way too critical," Martin says. "Plain and simple, just stop applying your perfectionist view of everything onto everyone."
It's totally unrealistic to expect your partner to
never mess up, and it puts a serious strain on the relationship. Virgo's need to have everything perfect can also mean they a tendency to be controlling — they hate the idea of someone else taking the wheel and potentially messing things up. "Like their fellow Mercurial Gemini, Virgo can easily get lost in the details and struggle with obsessive compulsive disorders," Mesa says.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Being Inconsiderate, Avoiding Confrontation, Bad Listeners, Tit-For-Tat Mentality
Libra struggles when it comes to confrontation. They can be aloof and inconsiderate, making it a struggle for them to really open up and
listen to their partner when they have a problem. "Libra needs to stop this 'tit for tat' [mentality]," Martin says. "When someone is having an issue with you, that's not the time to bring up your own personal problem with them."
Or, even worse, Libra might just avoid confrontation altogether — and bury their relationships issues deep, deep down. "Libra's gracious charm and love for harmony can be very misleading; and their fear of confrontation turns into pure denial," Mesa says.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Jealousy, Being Resentful, Self-Destructive Behaviors, Hidden Depressions
It's normal and healthy to experience
some jealousy in a relationship, but Scorpio takes their envy to an unhealthy level — which might just drive their partner away. "Scorpio must cut the jealousy," Martin says. "It's so annoying to a partner that is actually faithful, that you drive them right into someone else's arms."
Intense jealousy isn't the only demon Scorpio has to battle. They tend to
build resentment toward others (especially romantic partners), which can have a really damaging effect on their overall well-being. "[Scorpio's] constant resentment and hidden depressions can lead to chronic illnesses and/or self-destructive behaviors," Mesa says.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Immaturity, Being All Over The Place, Commitment-Phobia, Lacking Tact
It can be difficult to get Sagittarius to slow down long enough to settle into a long-term relationship — and if you manage to do that, then you're likely to get quickly irritated with Sagittarius' all-over-the-place, hot-mess-express way of life. "Sagittarius, if we could pin you down for a minute that would be nice, let alone trying to get you to make a commitment to anything or anyone!" Martin says.
But Sagittarius' hectic lifestyle is just a byproduct of their general immaturity and lack of tact. "Having no tact means you probably don't have manners," Mesa says. "This, more often than not, leads to lack of respect and trust. People will not take them seriously."
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Focusing Too Much On Work, Ruthlessness, Being Power Hungry, Selfishness
It's never a bad thing to be super invested in your career, but it's also important to make sure you have a
healthy work/life balance — something Capricorn could stand to work on. "Capricorn, all work and no play makes you dull," Martin says. "We love that you're dedicated, but you need to focus on more than just your job."
But if you're bored by your hardworking Capricorn partner, at least there's an explanation behind their work mania: They're also extremely ambitious and power hungry, which isn't always a positive thing. "[Capricorn's] obsessive need for establishment and rank can come across as selfish and merciless," Mesa says.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Being Too Distant, Showing No Emotion, Aloofness, Self-Absorbedness
There's nothing worse than a partner who's
emotionally distant and closed off, and Aquarius is definitely guilty of shutting their partner out when they're upset or angry. "Aquarius needs to work on being distant," Martin says. "When you're mad it's like you don't even know your closest friends. Feel the warmth."
That's easier said than done, though: Aquarius is aloof by nature, so it's difficult for them to sincerely communicate when problems arise. "Their disconnected and somewhat aloof personality can come across as self-absorbed and tactless," Mesa says.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): Flakiness, Prone To Escapism, Not Grounded, Being Afraid Of Reality
Running away from your problems might seem like the easy way out, Pisces, but your tendency to disappear when the going gets tough isn't something that your partner will appreciate. "Pisces isolates and flakes out, and while that seems just fine in Pisces land, your relationship is made completely crazy by your lack of groundedness," Martin says.
Aside from detrimentally affecting their romantic relationships, Pisces' escapist attitude has other serious consequences, too: "Their fear of reality and excessive need to escape can contribute to [more serious issues like] alcoholism and addictions," Mesa warns.
Ultimately, however, our zodiac signs don't
really define us. Our personalities are shaped by so much more than just our birthday. Still, if you want to do some self-reflecting, seeing how your sign typically behaves in relationships is a good place to start — then, all you have to do is identify your imperfections, and work on bettering yourself so you're the best partner you can be.