Ever need to
send a text to cheer someone up when they’re having an annoying day, but can’t quite figure out what to say? Because... same. When you know a friend is frustrated or upset, it can be tough to land on the right words. And yet, as long as you’re reaching out with something, you’re already off to a good start in terms of lifting their mood.
“A text will remind the person that you are thinking about them, that they are cared about, and that you’re there if they need you,”
Dr. Tari Mack, a clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. Whether you send along a message that’s funny, supportive, or filled with inspiration — or all of the above — it will serve as a much-needed bright spot in their day.
That said, you won’t want to dismiss how this person is feeling by being too nonchalant via text, especially if they’re having a genuinely tough time. So anything beyond a run-of-the-mill bad day warrants a phone call or visit in person so you don’t risk brushing them off or
invalidating their feelings.
With that in mind, here’s
how to cheer someone up over text when they’re down in the dumps, having a bad day at work, or simply feeling “blah” — below are 11 expert-approved examples. “*Ahem* Presenting, the top 10 things I appreciate about you:”
Send this message and then start listing the things you love about them, from their amazing taste in music to the fact they’ve been your friend for tens of years — and everything in between.
“This text will make them feel good because they will feel really seen, which is what we all want,” says Mack. It’ll also serve as a cute distraction from whatever’s got them down, if only for a moment.
“You’ve been there for me when I’m down, so please let me know if I can return the favor in any way. Love you!”
According to Mack, this text is a subtle way to remind the person how caring and amazing they are and how much their
friendship means to you. Follow up by letting them know you’ll be there to return the favor should they want to text back, call, or meet up to vent. “Let me know if you want me to come over and make you a snack or give you a hug. But if not I totally understand!”
If your friend could use a little extra nurturing, send this offer their way. Not only does it extend the opportunity for care and attention, it also gives them an easy out if they’re not in the mood for company, says Mack.
Haven’t heard back? Totally OK. Many times, when it comes to sending a
text to cheer someone up, it’s the thought that counts. Even seeing your message pop up on their phone can be a huge relief. “When I was feeling low last week I started taking daily walks and it really helped!
If you feel like sending some light advice their way, frame it like this. “It can be incredibly validating and useful to share your own experiences with difficulties and what you did to manage them,”
Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, tells Bustle.
Not only does this message non-judgmentally say, “Hey, I’ve been there too,” it also offers a way for your friend to start turning their day around if they’re so inclined.
“I know you’ve got a lot going on and it’s really hard. I’m thinking about you!”
If you suspect this person is having a tough time, but might not be in the mood to respond right away, simply let them know you’re thinking about them. This text validates their experience, says Romanoff, but doesn’t apply any pressure to respond.
*Send a funny photo*
When in doubt, a photo can also do the trick, Romanoff says. Send a pic of something adorable — like your dog sleeping upside down — or go through your camera roll to find something you did together, like your last fun night out. Whatever you text them will serve as a reminder of good times.
“Just a reminder that you’re beautiful inside and out. And that you make the best tacos :)”
“This kind of text is meant to be cute, light, and loving,” Mack says, which is why it’s perfect to send to someone who’s having a dreary day. Mention one of their special gifts at the end — like their ability to make the
perfect tacos — and it’s bound to make them feel better. “Just heard our favorite song :)”
According to Ly, any message that says “I’m thinking of you” will mean a lot. So if your friend is going through a tough time, make it a point to send texts like this one at regular intervals as a way to help perk them up.
“Remember that time we got lost on our way to the roller rink? I’m cracking up thinking about it.”
Reminding your friend of a moment in life that was a bit more light-hearted will help get them out of their head, says Mack. So think about an inside joke or memorable experience you shared together and bring it up — while the message may not immediately fix their bad mood, it certainly won’t hurt.
“I know you’re going through a hard time. Remember, it’s OK to cry. Or veg. Or do whatever you need to do. And I’m only a phone call away.”
The wording of this particular text helps normalize what they’re going through, which in turn will help them feel less isolated and alone. Because, again,
validating your friend’s feelings should be the main goal when reaching out, according to Mack, as that’s always going to do a more effective job of cheering them up than insisting they “snap out of it.” Sources: Dr. Tari Mack, clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, clinical psychologist Alex Ly, AMFT, registered associate marriage and family therapist