In the fashion world, green is a gorgeous color to flaunt if you want to give out fresh, nature inspired vibes. But green is not a good color to be seen wearing emotionally, especially if you have a reputation as being seen as a jealous person. Jealousy is like a horrible worm that squirms its way into things which are going great and then ruins them, bite by bite, leaving the situation rotten to the core. Jealousy and anxiety go hand-in-hand like some kind of twisted, toxic couple — such as The Joker and Harley Quinn — and suffering with one of these qualities can often lead to having both. They're like the emotional tag team from hell.
Jealousy can ruin relationships, friendships, and even certain aspects of your life, such as your career, depending on how severe it is. You could feel envious of a colleague who got a promotion over you, your partner spending time with their ex, or your parents praising a sibling. A single situation could transform you from a very rational human into a super irrational green eyed monster. It's particularly difficult to control your envy when you're in a new relationship if you've been cheated on during the past, or if you're in a non-monogamous relationship.
So here are some tips on how to slay that green eyed monster, before it rears its ugly head.
1. Stop Comparing
Constantly comparing yourself to other people is going to get you nowhere in life. Do you think the great minds, inventors, and creators of history compared themselves to others? No, they set the bar for others to follow. Be an innovator rather than someone who waits for others to act and then plans to copy them. Fellow Bustler Marlen Komar suggested appreciating what you have, “If you remind yourself how wonderful your own life is shaping up to be, you won't feel the need to compare yourself. You'll realize your own situation is pretty awesome.” So get off the Comparison Express and enjoy your own journey.
2. Focus On Yourself
Stop looking at other people’s lives and pining after what they have. Instead, focus more on accepting who you are and learning to love yourself. There are many things you can achieve if you put your mind to it, but some things – such as wishing you were as tall as a supermodel when you are petite – will never happen. So focus on what amazing qualities you have to offer and get on with living your life.
3. Be Positive & Proactive
Patrice Herbst writing for Mindbodygreen discusses how she transformed from a jealous person to a confident one. Herbst said, “Jealousy is great at having you believe in your worst nightmares of the moment, until you realize that it's just a negative voice, feeding off your insecurities and magnifying them so that you think it's real. It's not.” Don’t feed the trolls, even the ones that lurk in your subconscious.
As well as this, dwelling in a swamp of despair is going to make you and others around you feel super negative. Yes, you may have been single for an amount of time which you deem unacceptable, you don’t own your house, or all your friends' careers are taking off while yours remains stagnant, but instead of sitting on your couch whining about it, why don’t you do something about it? Go on more dates if you are looking for a partner, start saving for your dream property, or make a plan of where you want your career to be in the next year or so.
4. Build The Life You Want
We all go through challenges or troubling periods of time, but if you wake up each day without even the tiniest of things making you feel happy, chances are you need to reevaluate your life. You may be in a position where you’re not in the right career, you’re in a dead end relationship, or you’re not living a creatively fulfilling life. On the other hand, you may be blessed with so many amazing things (and people) in your life, but you’re so consumed by jealousy that you just can’t see all of the great things in your life. It may be time to sit down, make a mood board, and truly envisage what will make you happy.
5. Accept Your Failings
Life isn’t a straight, easy road; it’s full of twists, turns, bumps, and occasionally a mountain or two you’ll have to climb. On occasion you will fail, but this is all a learning curve and should be taken as a lesson rather than an opportunity to pity yourself. Everyone faces ups and downs in life, even if they don’t outwardly show it. That person who you hate to love, who has what you would deem a “perfect life,” may be hiding their own personal struggles. Just because you can’t see the cracks, doesn’t mean that there’s not a problem lying underneath the surface. We’re all human and we will all face our own obstacles and challenges throughout life – some people choose to outwardly show them, whereas others hide their problems or what they would deem their “failures.” At the end of the day "failure" is a matter of perception.
6. Don’t Begrudge Other People’s Happiness
Perhaps your ex has moved on and is really happy with their new partner, while you are still single and unable to move on. Depending on the circumstance, you may be really envious of their new relationship and begin comparing yourself to their new partner, in order to distinguish what they have and what you don’t. As previously mentioned, IMO you should never compare yourself to others, because everyone is different and it will eat you up inside. In regards to being happy for others in general, if you’re finding it a challenge, keep pulling yourself back to the idea that you do not want to grow into a bitter human being, just because of a bad experience. The Huffington Post described the traits of folks who don’t get jealous. They tell readers to remind themselves of what’s important, “Whether your co-worker got a promotion or your best friend got engaged, it's important to remember that their story isn't your story.”
Don't let jealousy take over your life, reign in the green eyed beast and show it who's boss!
Images: Pexels (7)