Books

16 GoT Names You Should Never Name Your Baby

by Alex Weiss

I'm a huge fan of HBO's on-screen adaptation of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, as you probably are yourself, but that doesn't mean I want to give my child a name from Game of Thrones . Sure, there are some inspirational and brave characters like Jon, Sansa, Arya (basically any of the Starks), and even side characters like Brianne and Podrick. However, the list of great characters with great names is much smaller than the list of horrible characters (with some horrible names) you should never name anyone or anything after.

Choosing a name of your soon-to-be child is a big responsibility. My sister recently had a baby and while she and her husband kept the naming process to themselves, they put a lot of time and effort into making sure my niece's name was the perfect fit. Whether you're planning on naming your child after a family member, a role model, or even a fictional character — choose wisely and it'll all turn out well.

Just in case any Game of Thrones character names on your baby name list, just make sure none of these 16 names aren't included for the sake of your child... and for the rest of us:

1. Cersei

Sure, Cersei is a pretty name. And Cersei has a few redeemable qualities, but overall — she's wickedly evil. She's learned lessons, sure, but everyone that has ever tried to step over her has either died or suffered. I don't think we should bring more Cersei's into the world — maybe try Catelyn after the Queen of the North instead?

2. Craster

This dude marries his daughters and does a handful of other awful things. Please, for the sake of everyone and your unborn child, never use this name.

3. Grey Worm

We all love Grey Worm. He's charming, strong, and vulnerably sweet. His name, though? Not so handsome. While he gets pride from his name, I doubt your child will.

4. Hodor

Again, Hodor is one of the most loved Game of Thrones characters of all time, but after finding the truth behind Hodor's name, there's no way a child should be named after him. I mean, wouldn't you cry every time I said your kids name? I know I would.

5. Hot Pie

I honestly don't think anyone would consider naming a small baby Hot Pie, but just in case, it's definitely on the list.

6. Janos

As a commander of the Night's Watch, you'd think this guy would be brave, intelligent, and strong. Instead, he's a big baby and complains about everything. He also tried to kill Jon Snow which is a solid enough reason to never use this name for anything.

7. Jaquen

When we first met Jaquen he was all cool and mysterious, but the more Arya got tangled up in his path, the more weary we became. Sure, naming your kid after a super ninja dude who never breaks promises might sound neat, his overall character development hasn't proved for him to be a great role model.

8. Joffrey

For the sake of all humanity, never name any living creature after the evil Joffrey Baratheon.

9. Lysa

While this is a unique twist on the classic name of Lisa, she's bat-sh*t crazy and her child was no better.

10. Melisandre

The name is beautiful, as is the character, but she convinced a father and mother to kill their own daughter, hid the fact that she's a super old lady in a young body, and birthed a creepy spirit way back in season two. I'd just stick with the classic Melissa if I were you.

11. Petyr

Peter is still a great name, but don't name your child after Petyr Baelish. So skip the Y and spell it normally and that way you won't have a "Littlefinger" child trying to take over the world.

12. Ramsay

Same as Joffrey — please, just don't do it.

13. Theon

Theon Greyjoy started out great, then turned into someone we loathed, pitied, and feared for. Now, now we're just rooting for his sister. The name isn't terrible, but he's not the best character to name your child after, either.

14. Tywin

Tywin is a jerk, a horrible father, a ruthless king, and while he didn't deserve to be killed by Ramsay, he still wasn't a great dude. Go for Tyrion instead because he's a fantastic character and it's a better name overall.

15. Viserys

Daenerys's older brother, Viserys, was only ever concerned with power and getting the iron throne back, and he was willing to sacrifice the beloved mother of dragons to do it. He got what was coming for him, so I'd take that as a sign not to ever use his name for a new baby.

16. Walder

Can we just talk about how creepy Walder Frey is for a second? I mean, he killed a good portion of the Stark family, sleeps with his own daughters, and is super disgusting in general. Don't name your kid after Walder — maybe go for Walden or Wally instead.

Images: HBO; Giphy (16)