It can be hard to find the balance between looking out for yourself and making sure you're taking others into consideration, and if you're not doing a lot of self-reflecting, you might not be aware of how self-centered you truly are. There are a number of signs that can indicate that you're egotistical, and although it might be hard to swallow, recognizing this flaw about yourself can help you take the proper steps to improve your relationships, change your self-image, and become grounded more grounded with reality. No one wants to feel like their opinion of themselves is unwarranted, but most people don't enjoy having a relationship with someone they deem an egomaniac.
"The idea of being egotistical essentially means that one thinks of themselves a great deal, they have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and they consider themselves separate and different from others based on form (outward appearance or thoughts)," says Scott Dehorty, LCSW-C over email.
Although psychologists don't have a textbook definition for someone who is egotistical, the traits are similar to someone who would be deemed a narcissist. If you suspect you might fall into this category — or others have called out your inflated sense of self — pay attention to these 11 signs you're egotistical.
1You Value Material Objects Above All Else
We all love a good shopping spree here and there, but if you place most value in material objects, that might be your ego talking. "The ego identifies with having: having more, better, and the latest," says Dehorty. "We can end up identifying who we are by what we have.hat is the ego. I am the same person if I drive a 1994 Toyota Corolla or a 2018 Aston Martin, but do I feel the same compared to others while driving them?"
2You Experience A Lot Of Resentment
"Complaining strengthens the ego," says Dehorty. "If you find yourself engaged in gossip, criticism, or condemnation of others on a regular basis, that is likely the ego feeding itself."
3You Tend To Interrupt Others
You don't let people finish their thoughts because what you have to say matters more. "You may constantly interrupt others, because you feel what they have to say is much more intelligent or important," says therapist Nancy Irwin, Psy.D. over email.
4You Hold A Position Of Power
Not all people with powerful positions are egotistical, but those with large egos crave attention and high ranking jobs. "They typically have power positions," says Irwin. "Their egos will starve to death in behind-the-scenes positions of any sort."
5You Speak Loudly
Loud speech is a tool you might use to get people to pay attention to you. "You might tend to speak loud and move fast in order to divert attention from the truth, as many times what you are saying or doing has no substance, but you are addicted to the appearance of your importance," says Irwin.
6You Hate Losing
No one enjoys losing, but if you're egotistical, you might cheat and lie to win to save face. "If you lose, that validates your deepest, darkest fear that you are inferior," says Irwin.
7You Leave A Social Gathering Without Gaining Much From Others
At parties, you always want the focus to be on you. "You might leave a social gathering or work meeting and realize that you don't remember what anyone else said, nor do you have strong feelings about what they said — unless it was a negative response to your ideas or how much time you took to discuss them," says psychologist Robin Hornstein, Ph.D over email.
8You Always Take Credit For Success
Egotistical people often try to take credit for the successes of others and avoid blame for their own mistakes. "To attribute our effort and ability to our success and external factors, such as bad luck or poor management, to our failures is common," says A.J. Marsden, PhD, an assistant professor of human services and psychology at Beacon College, over email. "However, the egotistical person takes this bias to a whole new extreme. They consider their own internal characteristics, such as ability and effort, as superior to others and believe that mistakes made must be the fault of others."
9You're Extremely Opinionated
Egotistical people do not consider the points of view of others and are often very opinionated. "Because they are self-absorbed, egotistical people are focused solely on their own point of view, image, and preferences," says Marsden.
10You Don't Feel Grateful
If you take others for granted and do not express gratitude, you might be egotistical. "Egotistical people often feel that they are better than other people, and therefore they do not feel it necessary to thank others for their help," says Marsden. "It is a sense of entitlement."
11You Spend Time Around Others Just Like You
Your ego always needs a boost, so spending time around others who support your image feels rewarding. "Egotistical people usually gravitate toward others who are similar to them because similar people will reinforcement their positive beliefs about themselves," says Marsden.