Long before I bought
my very first vibrator, a girl in my neighborhood introduced me to the water jets in my pool. "If you lean close to it, like this," she said, while pushing her crotch against the jet, it feels really good." I didn't understand why it felt good, but she definitely wasn't wrong. So whenever my parents weren't looking or I had the opportunity to toss something out of the pool, something that I'd have to dangle my body out of the pool to retrieve, I went to the jet. While I never had an orgasm — not that that was even on my radar at that age — there was no denying that it felt amazing, and the fact that I probably wasn't supposed to be doing it, at least not in front of anyone else, added to the appeal.
But people using household items to get off is nothing new. According to a survey of 976 people, ages 18 to 71, by
Superdrug Online Doctor, 70 percent of women have used a household item for sexual pleasure. Whether it was during masturbation or with a partner, the survey didn't say, but it's safe to assume that, in the heat of the moment, it doesn't matter if you're solo or with someone else, because my, oh my, does that candle look like fun!
Here are the 14 household items that tend to get the most action.
1 Shower Head Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Coming in at number one on the list, with 42 percent of women turning to it when they crave an orgasm, is the shower head. I have to say, in my life, there have been quite a few shower heads that have caught my eye — and made me late to work.
2 Pillow Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Coming in at a distant second, with 25 percent, are pillows. As for how these pillows are being used as a sex toy, one can only assume it's for humping, as pillows don't make for very good penetrative devices.
3 Vegetables Or Fruits Sean Gallup/Getty Images News/Getty Images
All you have to do is look at a well-endowed zucchini or cucumber to know that someone, somewhere, has eyed it as being something more than just food. Those vegetable (and fruit!) happy people happen to make up 18 percent of those surveyed. However, it's important to note that
inserting vegetables into your vagina can actually be dangerous. 4 Hairbrush
Whether it's because they haven't gone food shopping in awhile or because their shower head isn't detachable, 14 percent of women turn to their hairbrush as a make-shift sex toy.
5 Toothbrush Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
For 13 percent of the women surveyed, a toothbrush does the trick when it comes to an on-the-spot toy for pleasuring. Which, if you've felt the vibration of some of those electric toothbrushes, definitely makes a lot of sense.
Also on the list at 13 percent are candles. One can only assume that these are being used for penetration — or to stimulate in other ways with hot wax, which is a
light BDSM practice. 7 Marker Or Pen
According to the survey, 10 percent of women have used a marker or pen to give themselves — or their partner — pleasure. It's so nice that a pencil is not on the list, because
ouch. 8 Mattress
For eight percent of the women surveyed, it was some good ol' fashioned mattress humping that got them off.
Similar to pillows, I'm not sure how this happening, but the eight percent that's using them to either stimulate themselves or their partner should definitely get bonus points for creativity.
10 Makeup Product
Although what makeup products are being used the most as sex toys wasn't listed, it still stands that five percent of women use something from their makeup bag in place of a toy. If you can't get to
your lipstick vibrator, then your actual lipstick just might be the next best thing. 11 Wine Or Beer Bottle Dan Kitwood/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Although only four percent have used a wine or beer bottle as a sex toy, here's hoping that four percent
also used lube. 12 Tool Handle
While a bottle might cut it for one group of four percent, for another group of four percent, only a tool handle will do. Again, I hope there's lube and, if the tool handle is wooden, a condom involved. Splinters in your vagina is a disaster waiting to happen.
13 Remote Control BillionPhotos.com/Fotolia
Although the thought of a woman using a remote control as a sex toy can definitely make ones mind run wild, because remote controls really come in all shapes and sizes, it's safest if we just imagine a standard remote control for the four percent who have indulged in this household item for other reasons than controlling their TV.
14 Toilet Plunger
And last on the list, with only two percent of women reporting having used it, is a toilet plunger. One, that I hope, is sanitized.
While so many people have used an item they found in their house in place of a sex toy, precautions should still be taken. Avoiding fruits/vegetables and making sure these household items are clean and free from germs is a great place to start. The last thing you want is a bacterial infection in your vagina because the handle of your screwdriver was calling your name.