15 Pop Culture Patronuses All '90s Kids Wish Were Real
There are a lot of things '90s kids have to be thankful for growing up during the coolest decade ever, but the number one reason for book nerds is simple: Harry Potter. Since the original publication in 1997, readers like me have been anxiously awaiting their own Hogwarts letters, imagining what house they'd be sorted into, and dreaming up all of the pop culture Patronuses all '90s kids wish were real. The only thing cooler than becoming a wizard is getting a rad magical protector to go along with it.
In the world of Harry Potter, a Patronus is a form of powerful magic that acts as a kind of protector or shield for the person who casts the spell. The best protector against Dementors, Patronuses are manifestations of joy, happiness, and hope that take two forms: a non-corporeal mist-like form, and a corporeal animal protectors. Harry's, like his father's, is a stag, while Snape's was a doe, in honor of Lily, his true love, but Harry Potter characters aren't the only ones who can find out their Patronus.
Thanks to Pottermore, fans can take a quiz and find out their own magical animal protector. With dozens of options, Potterheads can get animals ranging from owls and dolphins to unicorns and Hippogriffs, but what about '90s kids?
While you're real Patronus may be a majestic mustang or a heroic hare, here are 15 pop culture Patronuses all '90s kids wish were real.
1. Lisa Frank Animals
Sure, silvery magical animal protectors are cool and all, but every '90s kid knows that bright rainbow-colored creatures are better any day. In a battle between an army of Dementors and an adorable Lisa Frank creation, there could be a clear and colorful winner, every time.
2. Pokemon Characters
You've seen how they perform in battles, so it's no wonder 90s kids already know that Pokemon would make incredible Patronuses. Whether you're favorite is Pikachu or Evee, Squirtle or Charmander, you know these adorable (but powerful) creatures could take on darkness any day.
You might not have been able to keep yours alive as a kid, but maybe in Patronus form, your Tamagotchi could help save your life. That is, if you remember to feed it.
If you're like me and your Furby creeped you out, then you can see the value in having one as your Patronus. Even Dementors would back down after seeing the famous furby eyeroll.
If he was good enough for Tommy Pickle and gang, he is good enough for the rest of the '90s kids. A fierce and fictional animal, this dinosaur would make a fearsome Patronus.
6. Sonic the Hedgehog
Admit it: any witch or wizard who got the hedgehog Patronus imagined it as Sonic. Fast and fiery, this video game creature could take down every Dementor in Azkaban without blinking an eye — or losing a life.
Don't let the name fool you — this small dinosaur can take on some big opponents. If Littlefoot can beat a Sharptooth, the Dementors are nothing to fear.
8. The Brave Little Toaster
He may be an inanimate object, but the Little Toaster has one quality every good Patronus needs in spades: bravery.
Dog Patronuses may be common, but every '90s kid knows the very best one would be in the form of Doug Funnie's loyal canine companion, Porkchop. Smart and adorable, his alter-ego Quaildog, already has plenty of experience fighting evil.
10. Street Sharks
For those who dream of a fierce and scary Patronus, the Street Sharks of the classic 90s animated TV show are the perfect pretend choice. Crime-fighting half-human, half-sharks, these guys are maybe more terrifying than the Dementors themselves.
Can't decide between a canine or a feline Patronus? With CatDog, the fun yet admittedly creepy cartoon animal hybrid, no '90s kid has to choose.
12. The AIM Icon
He might be a manifestation of your dial-up nightmares now, but now, the AIM running man might make a nostalgic and bad-ass Patronus. That is, if it can load in time.
Traditional Patronuses are animals, but the most rare kind come in all kind of magical and mythical forms, from unicorns to hippogriffs and beyond. For '90s kids, no fictional creature could be cooler than the brave and powerful Gargoyles of '90s TV.
Ron Weasley may have a Jack Russell Terrier, but was it as cool as Wishbone, the coolest storytelling dog ever? Probably not.
15. Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
They may not be animals, but the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are the dream protectors of all '90s kids. No matter the color, these crime-fighting heroes can take down whatever Dementor they're faced with.