7 Weird Things Almost Every Person Wishes Their Significant Other Knew About Them
When you're in a long-term relationship, you'll inevitably learn a lot of random tidbits about your partner as time goes on. Whether it's what they like on their pizza or exactly how many minutes it takes them to shower, there are plenty of weird things you should know about your partner if you've been dating for a long time. But even if you and your partner know each other super well, there are probably plenty of little things that you don't know about each other, even if that's only because it's a subject you've just never thought to bring up.
"Many come to me saying that they wish their significant other knew this hobby, talent, dream, etc. of theirs," Susan Trombetti, Matchmaker and Relationship Expert, tells Bustle. "We all have those secrets that we keep to ourselves and never tell anyone else. But then when you start dating someone you sometimes wish they knew these things about you, which is completely normal!"
Long-term relationships aren't always easy, but knowing that you can share anything with your partner and be your authentic self in the relationship is an awesome, comforting feeling that makes it all worthwhile. If you're looking to get even closer to your partner, here are seven weird topics to discuss with them. (And to be honest, they're probably things that every person secretly wishes their partner knew about them, anyway.)
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1. How To Pick Out Great Gifts For You
Having a partner who's a bad gift-giver is a tricky situation to navigate, just because it's something so personal to both of you — but as long as you communicate effectively, it'll prevent both of you from feeling hurt in the future.
"If your significant other isn’t very good at choosing presents, it can make birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries awkward," Jonathan Bennett, Dating/Relationship Coach and Owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. "You have to fake a smile and pretend that your partner gave you the perfect gift, when, in reality, you find it tacky and uninspiring. But, it’s equally awkward to tell your partner what to get you or constantly drop hints. Wouldn’t it be great if your significant other just knew the perfect present you've always wanted?"
2. When You're Faking Happiness
I'm all about communicating your emotions and being open when something is wrong, but sometimes, it can feel easier to fake a smile and push aside your negative thoughts and feelings.
"There are times when you’re upset and just need some love and comfort from your partner," Bennett says. "But you can’t always articulate your feelings and what you need. Or maybe you don’t want to upset your partner or rock the boat. So you fake a smile and pretend everything is fine, but you secretly want your significant other to just give you a big hug and ask you what’s wrong."
3. When You Need Alone Time
If you're dating an introvert (or are one yourself), you understand what it's like to seriously need alone time — and how that can impact the relationship if both partners aren't communicating about it.
"Introverts, after a long day of socializing, might clam up or retreat to their rooms without giving much of an explanation due to sheer exhaustion," Kali Rogers, Relationship Expert and Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Bustle. "Naturally, their significant others might take offense to this, thinking that they did something wrong or that their partner needs consoling. It can lead to deep misunderstandings and hurt feelings. While the introvert probably needs to work on better communication, a lot of them secretly wish their significant other just knew this about them and knew when the social exhaustion was hitting them so they could give them some space without hurting their feelings."
4. Your Wildest Career Aspirations
Pretty much everyone has a "fantasy career" that they'd love to dive into if the stars perfectly aligned — like becoming an A-list actor or the next, less murder-y Annalise Keating.
"Sometimes you meet someone very established in their career and having a lot of success," Trombetti says. "That does not exactly mean that is what they want to do though. Their dream might be something simpler or completely out of left field, but they are scared to admit it to you. The key is if your significant other does tell you something drastic like this, support them! Success only means so much if you aren’t happy!"
5. How You Feel About Weird Topics
Your partner is probably familiar with your religious beliefs and political leanings, but when it comes to the weirder topics — like your stance on alien life or Bigfoot — does your partner know where you stand? When you've exhausted the "normal" topics, don't be afraid to dive into the weird, more controversial stuff — if you and your partner are meant to be, it'll bring you even closer.
"Maybe you believe that you were someone else or something else in a past life and truly believe that you will be reincarnated again," Trombetti says. "These are beliefs that some might have a hard time telling their significant other, but wish the person knew about them."
6. Your Guilty Pleasures
I have to admit, the idea of a "guilty pleasure" irks me — no one should ever feel guilty about what they enjoy, whether that's a video game or reality TV. Still, we all have different things we're passionate about, some of which might feel "embarrassing." But if your partner is really right for you, they'll never tease you or shame you for your guilty pleasures or hobbies.
"Who cares if you're obsessed with sci-fi?" Trombetti says. "Sometimes people hide their guilty pleasures like these from their partners because they are scared of being judged, but being yourself is always better!"
7. Your Secret Sexual Fantasies
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be comfortable communicating openly about their sex life — but it can still feel scary to be vulnerable and open up about your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies.
"In my experience, partners who talk openly about their fantasies tend to have good communication, solid trust, and more excitement, which leads to great sex and nourishing relationships," sexologist and relationship therapist, Kelly McDonnell-Arnold, tells Bustle. "This is the result of just the right combination of safety and risk."
One of the best things about being in a new relationship, without a doubt, is the excitement of getting to know your partner: every little quirk or detail is like a new, intimate glimpse of who your partner is. But even if you've been together forever, you never have to stop learning about your partner — you just have to be willing to open up and share all the things you secretly want to tell them.