The Best Sex Positions For Slowing It Down With Your Partner
Whether it's the lazy, long, dog days of summer or a freezing cold, long nights in February, sometimes you want a sort of lazy sex position that's ideal when you have nothing on your hands but time. You know, that type of sex position you can get into and not have to worry about getting out of in a rush, so you can either attempt multiple orgasms or enjoy an extra long journey to the finale.
Although a quickie is always fun (and good for you), if all you have is time, you should definitely use it wisely and there's no wiser way to kill time than by having sex. First, you can start off with some nice drawn-out foreplay, making sure you're enjoying every single second of it, then make your way into the actual sex part. From here, it's all about relaxing and enjoying the ride, forgetting all those annoying cares in the world.
"There isn't just pressure on us to be sexy, but women and men are pressured to be sexual," board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman tells Bustle. "When you're worried about performance, you're much less likely to be able to simply relax and enjoy yourself. The more aware we become of these toxic societal pressures, the more we can feel empowered to free ourselves from their spells."
So leave your inhibitions at the door, bring some snacks into the bedroom (as you'll need nourishment at some point), and take your sweet time with these nine positions.
1. The Cross
How to do it: With your partner laying on their side, propping their head up with their arm, lay yourself perpendicular to them, draping your legs over their hips. You basically want to be sitting in their lap, but in a laying down position while they penetrate you.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: This position doesn't allow for much movement, which is exactly what you want — and why you won't find any doggy style positions on this list. The less movement, the longer it will take for you both you and your partner to climax. And, since we're not rushing things, why rush into your orgasm?
How to do it: First, have your partner sit down with their legs crossed. Next, you want to lower yourself into their lap, wrapping your arms and legs around them. Have them penetrate you once you're in place.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: With lotus, there's less of an in-out motion and more of a rocking and grinding motion. Although both these motions feel spectacular, they slow things way down, making it great option for when you're definitely not in any rush.
How to do it: While cuddled up in the spooning position, have your partner penetrate you from behind.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: Although this position does include penetration from the back, due to the fact that you're both on your sides, again, movement is limited, so you can take your time. This is also the closest position to doggy on the list, so if that's your favorite, I suggest you enjoy this one — because we're not getting any closer to it! If we do, it will defeat the whole "taking your sweet time" theme here!
4. Advanced Crab Walk
How to do it: While both in the crab walk position and facing each other (I recommend the floor or a firm mattress for this one), get your bodies close enough so your partner can penetrate you. Also, because this position is "advanced," therefore making it a bit more difficult than the regular crab walk position, you want to rest your legs on your partner's shoulder.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: Although this will provide deeper penetration than the regular crab walk, because it's still not super deep, you can take your time, enjoy the feeling of being penetrating without rushing to the finish line.
5. Coital Alignment
How to do it: Yes, coital alignment definitely looks similar to missionary and it is similar, in some ways, but your hips will be slightly lower than your partner's hips and your legs are wrapped around them. So, basically, you want to start in traditional missionary, then make the necessary adjustment of the hips.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: This position is wonderful for clitoral stimulation and can make it last and last, until you're ready to orgasm. The height difference in the hips will also help make your partner last longer, too.
6. The Splitter
How to do it: While laying on your back, have your partner straddle one of your legs while they penetrate you. The leg that's not being straddled should be lifted and resting on your partner's shoulder.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: The combination of being being penetrated while your partner straddles your leg brings the speed way down.
How to do it: With both you and your partner both on your sides, facing each other, drape your leg over their hips and pull them in close, so they can penetrate you.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: What we have here is a position that has limited movement and a whole boatload of intimacy. Both of which make for a really nice, slow and steady wins the race position.
8. Reverse Cowgirl
How to do it: With you partner laying flat on their back, straddle them, facing in the opposition direction. Then lower yourself onto them.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: Although one might think this position could end up in both of you climaxing quickly, the angle at which you're at, although it feels phenomenal, slows things down quite a bit, giving you time to ride and enjoy, and giving your partner time to be ridden and enjoy it.
9. In A Chair
How to do it: On one hell of a sturdy chair, have your partner take a seat, then straddle them so you're on their lap.
Why it's great for when you want to take your sweet time: Although sitting on your partner's lap definitely provides for some deep penetration, because the movement is more grinding than in-out, you can make this one last a long time — exactly what you want.
Now matter which position you choose — although giving them all a try might be fun — these are the positions you should turn to when all you have is time. So. Much. Time.