Whether it was the five-minute duration or the complete absence of any toe-curling pleasure, most people have experienced less-than-stellar sex at one point or another. Beyond intercourse that’s just blah, however, there are some common sexual issues that can limit the mutual pleasure and comfort that really good sex can bring.
For vagina-havers, for example, things like pain or discomfort during sex aren’t just felt by those experiencing menopause or who deal with certain reproductive conditions. A 2017 study conducted by the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that one in 10 women experience dyspareunia, or painful sex. Other common sexual issues include premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
If you and your partner are facing certain obstacles in the bedroom, the Between Us Clinic, an online resource center for sex therapy and relationship counseling, consulted 43 sex experts in a survey to determine the best sex positions for six common sexual issues. Whether you and your S.O. want deeper penetration, to incorporate some clitoral stimulation during sex, or to build more intimacy during intercourse, read on for their recommendations and how you can use them to improve your sex life.
Best Sex Positions To Combat Premature Ejaculation
Spooning can be a great way to help the penetrating partner have more control over their movement, and therefore how quickly they climax. “It gives you a great deal of control, optimal skin-to-skin contact, a good amount of blood flow to the penis, and because of the angle and shallow thrust, it slows down the ability to go too quickly,” says certified sex therapist Chamin Ajjan.
Missionary is also great for this issue. “When men begin to notice that they are getting close, they can slow down, control the rate of thrust, and ask their partner to ‘just be with me’ while they focus on breathing and reducing the intensity of nearing ejaculation,” says Joseph Winn,certified sex therapist and supervisor of sex therapy.
Best Sex Positions For Clitoral Stimulation
According to the survey, people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation during sex. In this case, try cowgirl. “It allows the woman to move in a way that offers natural rubbing of the clitoris against her partner’s body, as well as the possibility of using fingers or toys to offer additional stimulation,” says clinical sexologist Alexandria Saunders.
Using a toy — like a vibrator — is great when you’re in this position, but certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco also recommends taking time to “warm-up” with that toy or oral sex before you get right to it so that your crown jewel is ready to play. Also helpful? Doggy style can offer easier access to the clitoral tissue.
Best Sex Positions For A Stronger Erection
Experts from the survey believe that doggy style is the best sex position for a stronger erection. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Kate Klein says that getting a view of the penis thrusting in and out can definitely turn them on — and get them hard. “Doggy style also allows the insertive partner to stay relaxed, and the position is less likely to obstruct blood flow to penis than the previous positions,” adds licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist Alex Tatum.
Reverse cowgirl can also be useful since the position allows more blood flow to the penis.
Best Sex Positions For Deeper Penetration
Another common sexual issue: achieving deeper penetration. Doggy style has obvious benefits for the inserting partner, and the angle and leverage given by their positioning gives them way more access and control to thrust deeper. Butterfly, however, is a hidden secret for the job. In this position, certified sex therapist Jessica Rubenstein says that the closeness of the hips and legs will help penetration feel much deeper.
If missionary is more your vibe, try using a wedge pillow (like the Liberator Wedge) to change the angle of insertion and go even deeper. This is also a great option for people who experience pain or discomfort in their joints, or on their back, or for accessibility in disabled partners.
Best Sex Positions For Creating Intimacy
If more intimacy is what you’re looking for, try the lotus position. “The man sits while the woman straddles his hips while they are facing one another,” explains sex therapist Sarah Sepolio. “The man cannot thrust too quickly — it forces him to slow down, thrusting in sync with his partner all while staring into each other’s eyes.” There’s a major plus for the receiving partner, too, because both deeper penetration and clitoral or other types of stimulation — like neck kissing or breast play — are made easy in the lotus.
Missionary also has the benefit of close contact, which can be a great way to slow down and connect with your partner.