Entertainment

17 Ways 'Clueless' Lied About High School

by Amy Mackelden

Clueless is one of the best movies of all time, and that's an indisputable fact. Not only did it introduce me and the rest of the world to Paul Rudd (hello sir!), it's inspired so many things from fashion, to language, to music, to other movies. Clueless, like Mean Girls after it, defined high school for a whole generation of people, and that's why it continues to be so popular, and constantly referenced, even now. The movies we grow up watching have a huge impact on our lives, and Clueless is no exception. But in what ways did Clueless ruin our perceptions of high school? Did the movie promise us things that were impossible and would never happen during our own high school experiences? Uh, yeah.

With talk of a Clueless musical being on the horizon, including rumors that it might star Katy Perry (how awesome would that be?!), fans are returning to the movie again and again. But which moments in the film were simply unrealistic, and not a true reflection of what high school is like? Were there any ways in which Clueless actually ruined our perceptions of high school for good? My high school experience, for one, was very very different.

1. Having My Very Own Credit Card To Shop With

My mom was still buying my clothes well into high school. Sigh.

2. Pulling Off Vintage Looks With Ease

The first few times I tried to dress vintage, my sister said it looked as though I found my clothes in the garbage.

3. A Computer Could Fix All Of My Clothing Issues

If only I'd had a computer to tell me what to wear. Shouldn't we all have this as an app by now?

4. Friendships Were Based On Jealousy

Expectation: friendships were founded because people were jealous of how cool we were. Reality: friendships based on mutual misery.

5. Making Up Cool New Words

Like fetch after it, there's a huge expectation from watching movies like Clueless that it's totally possible to invent new catchphrases. It's really not though.

6. Being Able To Apply Lipstick

This is a skill that's impossible to master, I don't care what anyone says.

7. Rebutting Unwanted Advances With Ease

I so wish I could've pushed off unwanted advances from creepos in such a super-feminist manner, instead of merely looking embarrassed.

8. Having Self-Worth From An Early Age

I wish that I'd taken Cher's approach to dating and life, and been every bit as picky as she is. That's the definition of self-worth. She never settles for anything less than perfect.

9. Being Applauded By A Group Of People

Is it just me that thinks being laughed at by a group of kids in high school is way more likely than resounding applause?

10. That Chilling In Class Wouldn't End In Detention

I never kicked back in class like Travis, but then I rarely got detention. I'd love if every class had been this relaxed.

11. My Hair Would Have Volume Just Once

I spent most of high school with flat, greasy looking hair. Life is not fair at all.

12. Being Proud Of My Virginity

Cher is totally in control of her virginity and not in a rush to lose it. This attitude isn't as prevalent in high school as it should be, and it's so refreshing that a character has this perspective. I wish I'd been as proud about being a virgin.

13. Having Rapport With A Hot Older Guy

I didn't have the sort of rapport Josh and Cher have until much later in life. If only any of the older guys I dated when I was in high school were remotely like Josh.

14. Eating In Class Would Be Considered Cute

Eating in class was an instant detention, but Cher always made it look cool. Her '90s gum is on fleek.

15. That Braces Were Cool

I had braces for about a million years (or seven). If only mine had looked this awesome.

16. Incorporating A Pink Fluffy Pen Into My Look Would Work

Whenever I took a pen remotely like Cher's to school, people called me quirky, but her fluffy pink look is chic. No fair.

17. That A Class Presentation Could Include The Words "I Was Like Totally Buggin"

While I'm super pleased I get to use words like "buggin" in conversation now, during a school presentation, this would've been considered bad form. But Cher makes it work every time.

Clueless may have let me down, but only because it's like way better than real life.

Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy (17)