When it comes to sex, as long as things are consensual, I have a hard time considering anything “weird.” Even when it comes to sex fetishes and fantasies, “weird” often feels like a negative word. Sure, your sex desires and what gets you off might be deemed not exactly “normal” by the masses, but if that’s the case, I think calling them “rare,” as opposed to “weird,” is a better way to angle it. Labeling things “weird,” especially when it comes to sex is the type of language that can cause sexual shame and that’s the last thing we want to do. It's important to be sex-positive, and encourage sexual exploration and experimentation, not make people feel like they should be shipped off to an island for sexual deviants.
In addition to desires sometimes being mislabeled “weird,” certain sex positions are sometimes called this, too. I remember telling a friend of mine that I love the spooning sex position (Hello, G-spot stimulation!), actually calling it one of my favorites, and she telling me that it was a weird position to love. Oh, really? Lying on your side, not having to do any major work, while being penetrated from the back is weird?! Think again, my friend.
So before you start calling certain sex positions “weird,” choose your words wisely. What might seem weird, probably isn’t and when it comes to sex, “weird” shouldn’t even be part of the dialogue.
1. Sideways Straddle
How to do it: With your partner lying on their back, have them bend one leg while keeping their foot flat on whatever surface you two are using. Next, straddle their bent leg, while in a kneeling position, then lower yourself onto them.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: Basically, you’re humping your partner’s thigh in order to achieve clitoral stimulation which can seem weird for some people. But the reason that it’s not weird is because you're stimulating your clitoris, no matter how you choose to do it, is never weird. This logical alone immediately throws the “weird” adjective out the window.
2. Weak In The Knees
How to do it: As the diagram shows, have your partner lie on their back and straddle their face. From here they can orally stimulate your clitoris with their tongue, while even getting into some anal play with their fingers or toys. This is a top notch sex position for both lesbian couples and hetero couples alike.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: Even I, the seasoned sex writer and sex doer (that makes sense, right?), tend to be wary of this position. It’s not that I think it’s weird, because I don't think sex-related things are weird, but I have a fear of suffocating my partner to death… which leads me to overthinking things and not enjoying this position to the best of my ability. I think others might share this sentiment and perhaps that's why this one might be considered “weird,” but if you and your partner really love it, and you can get on top and not overthink it like yours truly, then it’s totally not weird at all. Instead, it’s totally awesome.
How to do it: While lying down on a flat surface, have your partner lift your hips so they're in line with theirs. From here, your partner can penetrate you while you rest your legs on their chest or shoulders, as they use their hips to pull themselves in deeper.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: From the looks of it, it sort of makes one ask, “Well, why would you want to put all your weight on your neck, when you can just lie flat?” Good question! I mean, you can just lie flat, which would be the conventional version of this, but when your hips are brought up to meet your partner’s, while there is some pressure on your upper back and neck, it’s an ideal angle for deeper penetration — something we all love quite a bit.
How to do it: Facing each other, but in the opposite orientation so your toes are by your partner’s head and vice versa, orally stimulate your partner, while they orally stimulate you. You can, of course, incorporate your hands, too.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: For the most part, 69 gets a bad rap. And, as someone who’s barely 5’ and who usually dates men close to 6’, I can understand why. However, the “weird” factor for this one seems less about it being weird for the sake of being weird, and more about the awkward positioning. But if you and your partner are similar in height, there’s nothing weird about it. If anything, it’s hot AF.
How to do it: While there are more than a few ways to have sex while standing, for this particular one, stand with your back to your partner — they should be facing the same direction. From here, bend over, keeping your knees as straight as possible, while your partner penetrates you from this standing position. Depending on the height difference, you may need to get on your toes.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: I think a lot of people are of the thinking that standing up while having sex is weird, because if you can be lying down, why bother standing up? But the reason it isn’t weird is because of this thinking: If you’re always having sex lying down, why wouldn’t you have sex standing up for a change?
6. Mutual Masturbation
How to do it: Well, if you know how to masturbate, then this is a piece of cake... and I'm assuming you know how to masturbate. Since there's a very good chance that that is the case, while facing each other, you should both start masturbating.
Why it seems weird, but isn't: For some, masturbation might be categorized as something that one only does when they're alone. But, because masturbation is one of the healthiest things out there and when you do it with your partner you're not only giving them a lesson in how you pleasure yourself, but you're increasing your intimacy, mutual masturbation is awesome and very far from weird.
7. The Cross
How to do it: With your partner facing you and on their side, lie perpendicular to them with your legs over their hips. You’ll find that you need to scoot yourself up to them so they can penetrate you from this angle. Yes, it requires communicating and a bit of finagling, but it's well worth it.
Why it seems weird, but isn’t: Unlike many positions, this one is sort of relaxed. I mean, your partner is on their side, with their head propped up on their arm as if they’re just hanging out by a campfire listening to ghost stories or something else that requires little effort. So, for that reason, it can seem weird. But what makes it not weird is that it’s perfect for people who aren’t in a rush and guys who climax too quickly.
Sure, it might seem like you’re hanging out — because you technically are — but you’re also having intercourse and, from what I hear, that’s always a good time.
Images: Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle