6 Rules All Good Bridesmaids Follow, Because This Is So Not Your Day
It is a universally acknowledged truth that weddings are stressful occasions. And this holds true for pretty much everyone involved in them. Whether you’re in the wedding party, just a duty-free wedding guest, or you’re the sweet, terrified soul who's about to pledge your whole life to another person, you’re going to get stressed out at some point. Unfortunately, (but also fortunately) I know this to be true from real life experience. By the ripe old age of 25 I have already been in three wedding parties — once as a bridesmaid and twice as maid of honor — and I've attended more weddings than I can even remember as a guest (because when you have 11 first cousins who are all older than you, it’s bound to happen.) So, I know what I’m talking about here. Weddings are crazy. And no matter how prepared you are, or how chill you think you are, there are going to be unavoidable stressors that crop up to test you.
Now, if you’re the one getting married you get a free pass to go Hulk mode if and when something stressful happens. For example: if the caterer delivers to the wrong address or the flower girls start UFC fighting each other down the aisle, you get to freak out and no one will blame you. If you’re a wedding guest, no one really cares about how stressed you are. Because, get over yourself, TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. But if you’re a bridesmaid, it is your job to not only handle your own stress but the stress of the bride as well. Forget whatever sweet speech the bride-to-be gave you when she asked you to be one of her bridesmaids: being at the bride's beck and call is the true purpose of your position. Take it from a veteran bridesmaid, there’s a lot more to this gig than just showing up and putting on a horrible dress.
So, if you’re going to be a bridesmaid this summer, even if it isn't your fist time, you need to read the following six tips on how to be an awesome bridesmaid. Trust me, you and the bride will be glad you did.
1. Don't Bother The Bride With Something You Can Handle
I can’t stress this enough. Don’t go to the bride for anything that you or someone else can take care of. At my sister’s wedding a few years ago, I kind of failed at this, and I wish I hadn't. Guests were asking her dumb stuff, like, "where can I find safety pins?" a mere 15 minutes before she had to walk down the aisle, and I should have intercepted that nonsense for her.
Playing interference for the bride is the most important thing you can do to keep her calm. So, before her actual wedding day, you might want consider asking her who she’s willing to talk to on the big day before the ceremony. And if anyone who isn't on that list tries to bug her, redirect them and/or help them out.
2. Stay Positive — Even If the Weather Sucks
I don’t care if you’re a bridesmaid at an outdoor wedding and it’s hotter than the hinges of hell outside. Stay positive.
I literally sweat through my bridesmaid dress at my sister’s wedding because it was so hot out, but ceremonies are usually pretty short and no one’s focused on you anyway. Stay hydrated and don’t complain about something no one can control. It won’t make you feel better, and it will rightly piss off the bride.
3. Arrive Earlier Than You Were Asked To
In my experience, there’s never enough time to prepare pre-ceremony. The last wedding I was in started late because one of the bridesmaids took too long to get ready, and at my sister's wedding my aunts were still cooking right up until the ceremony began at 6 p.m. Even evening weddings don’t completely eliminate last minute rushing. So, go ahead and arrive an hour earlier than you were asked to. Trust me, your presence will be appreciated. More help is always needed at weddings.
4. Bring Extra Booze
Even though my best friend’s wedding had an open bar, I couldn't stop myself from sneaking in wine to that thing. Weddings are too stressful and weird not to pack a little something to take the edge off. So, whatever substance you prefer to chill yourself out with, don’t expect someone else to bring enough to share. Bring your own drink/smoke — and bring a little extra for the bride too. Because she’s probably going to need it.
5. Don't Compare Your Friend’s Wedding To Someone Else's
For the love of pizza and Netflix and all that is holy, do not speak of other weddings during your friend’s wedding. Not even if it’s to say that all other weddings are terrible and her wedding is the wedding that all future weddings will try to live up to for the rest of eternity. She will not want to hear it, so just don’t do it.
6. You’re There For The Bride — Not A Hookup
Until the ceremony is over, stay focused on your task. That is, attend to the bride. Even if you’re seriously digging one of the groomsman or a fellow bridesmaid, remember why you were asked to be in your friend’s wedding in the first place and help her out as much as you can. There will be plenty of time for flirting and mid-reception closet sex after the vows.