7 Unexpected Benefits Of Being Newly Single
When you've recently gone through a breakup, it's totally understandable if you're having a difficult time looking on the bright side of life and finding things to be excited about. Breakups are painful, emotional experiences that will take time to heal from, but one thing that can really help speed that process along is realizing — and taking advantage of — the many benefits of being newly single.
"Learning how to be on your own and not rushing into another relationship is a great opportunity to enhance spiritual connection, learn self-care skills, and have a plan to do them without someone distracting you," relationship therapist Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC, tells Bustle. "[Other benefits are] getting more sleep... saying yes to invitations that you may have denied in the past due to being in a relationship, [and] having the opportunity to indulge your idiosyncrasies that your partner did not like and you compromised by not doing."
There will always be tough moments when you're recovering from a breakup, but you can also use your newfound freedom to do things — such as practice self-care, indulge new hobbies, or hang out with friends — that will emotionally build you up, rather than tear you down. If you're looking for a post-breakup pick-me-up, here are seven unexpected benefits of being newly single that will inspire you to make the best out of it.
1. You'll Face Less Conflict Day-To-Day
Even if you and your ex weren’t a conflict-heavy couple, arguments are bound to happen in any relationship. One of the nice things about being newly single? All the day-to-day relationship drama you might have dealt with before is now a thing of the past.
"You will no longer face as much conflict and confrontation in your day," Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. "If you were in an unhealthy relationship, you can now enjoy the peace and quiet, free of confrontation."
2. You Have A Chance To Rediscover Yourself
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re one half of an “us” — so it’s normal if you feel like part of your identity has become intertwined with your partner. But when you’re single, you have the chance to re-discover yourself as an individual, and focus on parts of yourself that might have faded during your relationship.
"You have the opportunity to discover yourself and create a strong sense of self," Backe says. "We become more self-aware when we’re alone. You can date yourself and learn to love yourself before entering another relationship."
3. You Can Learn To Be Happy On Your Own
It’s fun to have a partner in life, but you should never feel like you need a romantic relationship to be happy. Going through a breakup is never fun, but if you’re able to come out the other side will the newfound knowledge that you can be content and fulfilled regardless of your relationship status, the pain will have been worth it.
"You can learn to be happy from within," Backe says. "When we’re alone, our happiness is no longer dependent on another person making us happy; we need to learn to be internally happy."
4. You Can Invest Your Time However You Want
When you’re coupled up, it’s only natural that a lot of your free time is dedicated to your partner. Once you’re no longer in a relationship, however, all your free time is yours and yours alone — and that can be a really beautiful thing.
"Your time is yours to invest in any way you please to do the things that you love and enjoy," Lindy Lewis, a Banking from Breakup Coach & Expert who helps women become more powerful, confident, and happier versions of themselves following their breakup, tells Bustle. "Whether it be taking up a passion project, starting a blog or a business, traveling or exploring your sexuality you have the freedom to do what you want."
5. You Can Reclaim Your Space
If you lived with your partner prior to the breakup — or even if they just spent tons of time at your place — it can be liberating to realize that, while single, what you do with your living space is totally up to you.
"You can reclaim your space (closet space, drawer space, bed, TV remote etc.) and enjoy it the way you want," Lewis says. "You come first in your life. You get to make your own routine and schedule, no permission required. You don’t have to compromise."
6. You Can Reconnect With Family/Friends
One way you can spend all your newfound free time when you're single? Reaching out to family and friends that you might have lost touch with when you were in a relationship.
"Since many people lose friendships due to relationships, being single is a great time to reconnect with family and friends," Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. "Also, meeting new people can be exciting. You now have that opportunity."
7. You Might Gain A New Outlook On Dating
It’s going to take some time before you’re ready to date again after a breakup, but once you do feel that itch, you might just find that how you view dating and relationships has changed significantly since your last relationship.
"When you become single again, you have a chance to date without any expectations of the end-game," dating coach Julie Spira tells Bustle. "It’s like pushing the restart button and finding an abundance of people for you to meet, both to expand your social circle and to enjoy dating a variety people to see how your type has changed since your relationship status did."
Even though it's never an easy process, going through a breakup can be life-changing. It might be painful at times, but being newly single is a chance to focus on you — and only you — so use the opportunity to do whatever it is that makes you feel happy and whole.