Why Long-Term Relationships Fail, According To Reddit
Every long-term relationship is unique, but pretty much all couples have at least one important goal in common: to not break up. Unfortunately, not all relationships have what it takes to last, and even if everything seems just peachy right now, there's always the chance that one day, your relationship might crumble. The good news? You and your partner have the power to control the fate of your relationship — it just takes a little work. If you want to avoid an eventual heartbreak, it's important to understand why long-term relationships fail, and then work to avoid those behaviors in your own relationship.
In a recent AskReddit thread, one user asked people to share their relationship wisdom by answering a painful question: "Besides cheating, what can destroy a long-term relationship?" There's no doubt that infidelity has the potential to ruin a relationship, but users' comments prove that it's far from the only thing that can cause a once-strong couple to break up. From dishonesty to insecurity to poor communication, there are so many little things that can cause a relationship to gradually deteriorate — but if you want to be able to work through potential problems, the first step is to be aware of behaviors that are likely to hurt your relationship.
Courtesy of Reddit, here are 15 things that have the ability to destroy a relationship.
1. Feeling Emotionally Detached
If you don't feel emotionally connected to your partner, that's a huge red flag.
2. Letting Resentment Build
Not communicating your problems as they come up is a surefire way to build resentment towards your partner.
3. Feeling Apathetic Towards Your Partner/Relationship
A relationship can't be a healthy, happy, long-lasting one unless both partners are enthusiastic about each other and committed to nurturing the relationship.
4. Taking Your Partner For Granted
For a relationship to last, both partners need to feel valued and appreciated — not taken for granted.
5. Having Financial Problems
Money problems are the number one relationship stressor, and constantly fighting about finances can definitely be a relationship-ender.
6. Deciding On Whether To Have Kids Or Not
Unfortunately, having kids is not really an issue you can compromise on, so if you and your partner don't see eye-to-eye, that could mean the end of your relationship.
7. Being Dishonest
Everyone tells white lies from time to time, but if you're in the habit of being dishonest with your partner — about both big and small things — that's a serious red flag.
8. Not Communicating Enough
If you and your partner can communicate effectively, you can work through almost any issue; but if you don't communicate at all, your relationship won't be able to weather any storms that come its way.
9. Having A Lackluster Or Nonexistent Sex Life
In a long-term relationship, libidos will ebb and flow, so it's normal to go through patches with less intimacy. But if you have a "dead bedroom" and aren't communicating about how to get your sex life back on track, that could eventually affect other areas of the relationship.
10. Not Having Trust In The Relationship
Trust is the backbone of any solid relationship, and if your trust deteriorates over time, you'll have to work to rebuild that trust in order to make your relationship last.
11. Letting Your Insecurities Control You
Everyone has insecurities, but it's not healthy to let your insecurities control you and how you behave in a relationship.
12. "Score-Keeping" In Your Relationship
If you feel the need to keep score and make sure every aspect of your relationship is "fair," that can be extremely emotionally draining and has the potential to ruin your relationship.
13. Thinking The Honeymoon Phase Should Last Forever
While the first few months of a relationship can be a romantic whirlwind, it's unrealistic to expect that feeling to last forever. Long-term relationships change over time — you just have to learn to adapt.
14. Not Working On Your Relationship
Maintaining a healthy relationship is hard work, and if one or both partners stop putting in the effort to make the relationship better, eventually it will fall apart.
15. Not Making Your Partner A Priority
If you don't take your partner into consideration before making decisions, that's a big red flag.
Ultimately, you can't predict the future of your relationship, and you never know what problems you might run into down the road. But as long as you and your partner are able to communicate and willing to work through your issues together, hopefully you'll be able to avoid having a breakup in your future.