8 Best Sex Positions For Domination, Because With Great Submission Comes Great Responsibility

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto this week’s topic: the best sex positions for being dominated

Q: “I have a (male) friends-with-benefits that I’ve just started playing with. I’ve been curious about exploring domination, since it’s not something I’ve really ever tried before. What are the best sex positions for being dominated? I want to feel like he’s fully in command of my whole body.”

A: Thanks for your question! There are so many different ways to play around with domination in the bedroom, but sex positions are a great way to get started. You don’t have to spend any money on props, toys, or outfits, and there are fewer safety concerns to educate yourselves about. Even if you don’t end up wanting to go whole-hog with domination and subservience, you can still have a ton of fun in these positions. 

One quick note: since these positions can be quite intense, make sure you’re with a partner you trust and have a safeword. Other than that, have fun! Here are the eight hottest sex positions for being dominated.

1. Doggystyle

How To Do It: Get on your hands and knees. Have your partner kneel behind you, and penetrate you from behind. You can stay still and let him have full control of the movement. He can hold onto your hips for leverage, or even pull your body back to meet his.

Why It’s Hot: Doggystyle deserves a place in the Sex Positions Hall of Fame (if there ever was such a thing). It’s raw, it’s wild, it’s animalistic, it’s passionate, it’s intense. There’s nothing like being on your hands and knees to make you feel like you’re completely subservient.

How To Up The Domination Factor: There are so many ways to play around in Doggystyle. Have your partner take a break from thrusting and spank your ass. Or have him wrap his hand around your ponytail and give it a good tug. You can also incorporate anal play, by having him finger your anus as he slides in and out of you, or by having full-on anal sex.

2. Lowered Dog

How To Do It: This position is only a slight variation of Doggystyle, but it’s hot enough to deserve its own section. From regular Doggystyle, lower yourself down onto your elbows. You can either go face down into the sheets, or rest your head on either one of your cheeks.

Why It’s Hot: You get all of the intensity of Doggystyle, with the added illicit thrill of being literally face down, ass up.

How To Up The Domination Factor: He can hold your face down by wrapping his hand around the back of your neck. Or see if you can rest your weight on your shoulders, and have your guy hold your hands behind your back.

3. The V


How To Do It: This one requires a bit of flexibility. Start off in Missionary position. Have him sit back on his heels. Stretch your legs up and rest your heels on his shoulders (your right heel on his left shoulder, your left heel on his right shoulder), or have him pull your legs up for you. He should then lean forward, resting his weight on his hands. Your legs will get pushed back towards your head. If that feels like too much of a strain on your legs, you can take them off his shoulders and hold them up in the air.

Why It’s Hot: This can be a physically straining and vulnerable position for you, especially since you’re at his mercy to not bend you back too far. You’ll really feel pinned down and powerless.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Have him hold your hands above your head for even more intensity. Or, try bringing your legs into a cannonball position, so his body can move even closer to yours.

4. Doggy Blowjob

How To Do It: Doggystyle doesn’t have to be limited to intercourse. Get on your hands and knees, and have your guy kneel in front of you. Give him a blowjob.

Why It’s Hot: You’re on your hands and knees, which always feels subservient. You also don’t have much control, since you’re resting your weight on your hands and knees. He can make you worship his penis before even touching your body.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Have him hold onto the back of your head. He can hold you in place, or pull you against his penis (just make sure to have some sort of safe symbol you can use to show him if it’s too intense).

5. Handcuffs

How To Do It: You’ll need a surface that’s waist-high for this position, like a table or a high bed. Stand up and drape the top half of your body over the surface. Have your guy enter you from behind. He can grab your arms and hold them behind your back, like he’s about to put handcuffs on you.

Why It’s Hot: You’re totally at his mercy in this one, since he’s got you pinned between his body and the table and has control over your arms. You also get that subservient feeling of being face down.

How To Up The Domination Factor: This is another great position for anal play or spanking.

6. Face-Down Doggy

How To Do It: In this variation of Doggystyle, start off in the classic position. Then lower down flat onto your belly. He follows suit, so he’s lying down on your back. He can also prop himself up on his hands or elbows, or sit up a bit to change the angle.

Why It’s Fun: This position is fantastic for feeling truly enveloped. You’re face down again, at his mercy.

How To Up The Domination Factor: He can bite your ears, neck, or along your shoulders. He can scratch your back or pull your hair. Or he can hold your hands behind your back, or pin them up above your head.

7. Missionary

How To Do It: You’re probably already familiar with Missionary — you lay on your back, he lays on top of you, in between your legs.

Why It’s Hot: Even sweet ol’ Missionary can be down and dirty. He’s totally covering you with his body, he’s got you pinned down, and he’s in charge.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Missionary is great because there are so many ways to make it more intense. He can get right in your face and talk dirty to you. He can pin your hands above your head. He can bite your lips, ears, or nipples. He can gently place his hand over your throat (just make sure not to put any pressure on the front of your throat).

8. The Spreader

How To Do It: Lie on your back, and get started in Missionary. Have him sit up on his heels again. Put your legs in the air, and have him grab onto one ankle with each hand. He should pull your legs away from each other.

Why It’s Hot: He’s literally spreading you apart in this position. Your most intimate parts will be totally on display, which can be insanely hot.

How To Up The Domination Factor: He can slow what he’s doing and just stare at your body as he slides in and out of you. Being watched like this can really make you feel vulnerable.

Happy submitting!

Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

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