8 Best Sex Positions For Domination, Because With Great Submission Comes Great Responsibility

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most pressing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto this week’s topic: the best sex positions for being dominated.

Q: “[My partner with a penis and I have a] friends-with-benefits situation that I’ve just started playing with. I’ve been curious about exploring domination, since it’s not something I’ve really ever tried before. What are the best sex positions for being dominated? I want to feel like [my partner's] fully in command of my whole body.”

A: Thanks for your question! There are so many different ways to play around with domination in the bedroom, but sex positions are a great way to get started. You don’t have to spend any money on props, toys, or outfits, and there are fewer safety concerns to educate yourselves about. Even if you don’t end up wanting to go whole-hog with domination and subservience, you can still have a ton of fun in these positions.

One quick note: since these positions can be quite intense, make sure you’re with a partner you trust and have a safeword. Other than that, have fun! Here are the eight hottest sex positions for being dominated.

1. Doggystyle

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How To Do It: Get on your hands and knees. Have your partner with a penis or strap-on kneel behind you, and penetrate you from behind. You can stay still and let your partner have full control of the movement. They can hold onto your hips for leverage, or even pull your body back to meet theirs.

Why It’s Hot: Doggystyle deserves a place in the Sex Positions Hall of Fame (if there ever was such a thing). It’s raw, it’s wild, it’s animalistic, it’s passionate, it’s intense. There’s nothing like being on your hands and knees to make you feel like you’re completely subservient.

How To Up The Domination Factor: There are so many ways to play around in Doggystyle. Have your partner take a break from thrusting and spank your ass. Or have them wrap their hand around your hair and give it a good tug. You can also incorporate anal play, by having your finger your anus as they slides in and out of you with their penis or strap-on, or by having full-on anal sex.

2. Lowered Dog

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How To Do It: This position is only a slight variation of Doggystyle, but it’s hot enough to deserve its own section. From regular Doggystyle, lower yourself down onto your elbows. You can either go face down into the sheets, or rest your head on either one of your cheeks.

Why It’s Hot: You get all of the intensity of Doggystyle, with the added illicit thrill of being literally face down, ass up.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Your partner can hold your face down by wrapping their hand around the back of your neck. Or see if you can rest your weight on your shoulders, and have your partner hold your hands behind your back. This position works just as well with a strap-on, or you can incorporate a toy for extra pleasure.

3. The V

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How To Do It: This one requires a bit of flexibility. Start off in Missionary position. Have your partner sit back on their heels. Stretch your legs up and rest your heels on their shoulders (your right heel on their left shoulder, your left heel on their right shoulder), or have your partner pull your legs up for you. They should then lean forward, resting their weight on their hands. Your legs will get pushed back towards your head, and from there your partner can enter you with their penis or strap-on. If that feels like too much of a strain on your legs, you can take them off their shoulders and hold them up in the air.

Why It’s Hot: This can be a physically straining and vulnerable position for you, especially since you’re at your partner's mercy to not bend you back too far. You’ll really feel pinned down and powerless.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Have your partner hold your hands above your head for even more intensity. Or, try bringing your legs into a cannonball position, so your partner's body can move even closer to yours.

4. Doggy Blowjob

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How To Do It: Doggystyle doesn’t have to be limited to intercourse. Get on your hands and knees, and have your partner with a penis kneel in front of you. Then, proceed with oral sex.

Why It’s Hot: You’re on your hands and knees, which always feels subservient. You also don’t have much control, since you’re resting your weight on your hands and knees. This position can also work with a partner who has a vulva.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Have your partner hold onto the back of your head. They can hold you in place, or pull you against their genitals (just make sure to have some sort of safe symbol you can use to show them if it’s too intense).

5. Handcuffs

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How To Do It: You’ll need a surface that’s waist-high for this position, like a table or a high bed. Stand up and drape the top half of your body over the surface. Have your partner enter you with their penis or strap-on from behind. They can grab your arms and hold them behind your back, like they're about to put handcuffs on you.

Why It’s Hot: You’re totally at your partner's mercy in this one, since they've got you pinned between their body and the table and has control over your arms. You also get that subservient feeling of being face down.

How To Up The Domination Factor: This is another great position for anal play or spanking.

6. Face-Down Doggy

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How To Do It: In this variation of Doggystyle, start off in the classic position. Then lower down flat onto your belly. Your partner follows suit, so they're lying down on your back. They can also prop themself up on their hands or elbows, or sit up a bit to change the angle.

Why It’s Fun: This position is fantastic for feeling truly enveloped. You’re face down again, at their mercy.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Your partner can bite your ears, neck, or along your shoulders. They can scratch your back or pull your hair. Or they can hold your hands behind your back, or pin them up above your head. This position is also great to try with a partner wearing a strap-on.

7. Missionary

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How To Do It: You’re probably already familiar with Missionary — you lay on your back, your partner lays on top of you, in between your legs.

Why It’s Hot: Even sweet ol’ Missionary can be down and dirty. Your partner's totally covering you with their body, they've got you pinned down, and they're in charge. This position is also great if your partner is wearing a strap-on, or if you want to incorporate a toy for extra stimulation.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Missionary is wonderful because there are so many ways to make it more intense. Your partner can get right in your face and talk dirty to you. They can pin your hands above your head. They can bite your lips, ears, or nipples. They can gently place their hand over your throat (just make sure not to put any pressure on the front of your throat).

8. The Spreader

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How To Do It: Lie on your back, and get started in Missionary. Have your partner sit up on their heels again. Put your legs in the air, and have them grab onto one ankle with each hand. They should pull your legs away from each other as they enter you with a penis or strap-on.

Why It’s Hot: They're literally spreading you apart in this position. Your most intimate parts will be totally on display, which can be insanely hot.

How To Up The Domination Factor: Your partner can slow what they're doing and just stare at your body as they slide in and out of you. Being watched like this can really make you feel vulnerable.

Happy submitting!

This post was originally published on August 30, 2016. It was updated on August 6, 2019.