11 Clues That Someone Likes You More Than You Think, Based On How They Text You
Be honest. How many hours have you spent trying to find the perfect thing to say when texting someone you like? If you just started talking to them, and aren't quite sure where things stand, figuring out the deeper meaning of their messages can start to feel like a part-time job — and one that's just the tiniest bit stressful.
There is good news, though. When someone's falling in love (or at least staring to like you) they might start texting in a way that reveals their true feelings. It's not an infallible system, by any means. But there are definitely a few texting habits people who have a crush on someone tend to have in common.
You just have to know what to look for, and how to read between the lines. "In person, there are many factors you can use to determine if someone likes you," certified counselor Jonathan Bennett tells Bustle. "This includes vocal tone, facial expressions, physical touch, and other body language indicators. Over text, however, you have to rely simply on another person’s typed words, which can be misinterpreted or misunderstood. Still, you can find signs of interest over text, including things like quick replies, genuine engagement, and being flirty rather than simply exchanging information."
These signs can be reassuring as you navigate those early days of dating. But don't hang your proverbial hat on them words for too long. "Take a risk IRL and ask this person out on a date," Chicago-based dating expert Stef Safran tells Bustle. That's where you can pick up on their facial expressions (which, again, are much easier to read). And it can even give you a chance to ask, straight up, "Hey, do you like me?" Here are a few signs they just may say yes, according to experts.
1. They Send Long, Detailed Texts
If the person in question writes a novel every time they text you, take it as a good sign. "People give their time and attention to what they like," says Bennett. "This is also true over text. If the person you text replies with multiple paragraphs and full sentences, it’s a good [they], at the very least, feel a connection to you." It might also mean you've become a priority in their life, and that they'd like to get know you more. (Wink wink.)
2. Their Messages Are Engaging
This crush of yours should get bonus points if their texts are more than just one-sided recaps of their day, and instead have officially become engaging. "This means you do more than share facts and pass along information," Bennett says. "Instead, your texting conversations are deeper and meaningful and create a greater bond to each other."
3. They Reply Quickly
While some people have busy schedules and can't text back right away, it's a great sign if your possible-future-partner seems to be holding their phone, and eagerly awaiting your reply. "One of the surest signs someone likes you over text is a rapid response," Bennett says. "This shows that the other person is excited to receive your messages and wants to keep the conversation going. It demonstrates that answering you is a priority, even above and beyond other commitments."
4. They Start Using Sweet Names
If they slip in a cute name or two, go ahead and let yourself be thrilled. "Using pet names such as 'sweetie' or 'babe' are signs they are falling for you," NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, tells Bustle. While the person in question shouldn't be doing this too early — you may not want any "hey babes" from a perfect stranger, for example — it can be a sweet sign, as you get to know each other better, that they're becoming just a little bit enamored.
5. They Throw In A Heart Emoji Or Two
Since it can take a lot of guts for someone with a crush to press that heart emoji, receiving one should pique your interest. "If they are sending a lot of hearts, kisses, or the smiley faces with heart eyes, it shows they are adding extra emphasis on sharing 'love,'" Rori Sassoon, premier matchmaker and CEO of PlatinumPoire, tells Bustle. Take it as the millennial sign of interest.
6. They Seem Concerned About You
Do they text to make sure you got home safely? "Obviously you can’t see facial expressions or hear tone when texting, but you can look at the actual words a person says, such as concern, to get a better idea of their feelings," Hershenson says. If they're starting to show signs of caring about your well-being, that's definitely a sign they're becoming invested.
7. They're Dishing Out The Compliments
As it goes with face-to-face interactions, Hershenson says to keep an ear out for compliments, too. They can be a pretty blatant sign someone is into you, and wants you to know it.
8. They Acknowledge When They've Dropped The Ball
"When someone follows through consistently with their promises — they contact you when they say they will, and if they forget, they actually acknowledge you — this can show that they really care about you and your feelings," says Safran. Do you wake up to an earnest apology text, if they weren't able to text you the night before? If so, consider it one of the first signs they may be a keeper.
9. They're Remembering Your Inside Jokes
If this person is falling for you, you'll likely start to develop inside jokes. And this'll show up in their texting style. "Each person may have their own 'style,' but when someone repeatedly seems to surprise you with new and different ways to send you emojis, or sends you message that you know are things that apply solely apply to you (inside jokes, special pictures, etc.), then you know ... they are thinking of you, a lot" Safran says. She says texts like these are basically a modern day love letter.
10. They Really Seem To Be Opening Up
If you seem to be one of the first people hearing about their good news, it could mean you guys are becoming close. "This shows that you could be 'the one' that they are turning to for validation," says Sassoon. And the same is true when they start turning to you when they're upset. "This shows that they really value your opinion," she says. "They feel close and intimate enough to you to share their vulnerable side. It is a sign of closeness. They are letting you into their world."
11. They Text First Thing In The Morning And Last Thing At Night
Waking up to "good morning" texts shows you were the first person they thought about when they woke up. And if you're receiving "goodnight" texts, well... that's a sign you're on their mind before they go to sleep.
Sasoon says these early morning and late-night texts are also a sign they're thinking of you during more intimate times of the day (like while they're relaxing in bed), and that's always a good sign.
If you notice any of these texting habits, and feel like you're hitting it off, experts say there's a good chance this person likes you more than you think. So enjoy their attention, text 'em back, and see where things go from there.