The Northeast is about to be hit hard by Winter Storm Stella. According to meteorologists, we're about to find ourselves smack dab in the middle of "one of the biggest March snowstorms on record." Over the weekend, it hit several cities in the South, Nashville among them, and the first few flakes will be starting in the D.C. area Monday night as it makes it way up to New York City, then onto Boston, eventually hitting most of New England by Tuesday night. Right now, we're looking at well over a foot of snow in the region, and even hurricane-like winds.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is already urging people to stay home tomorrow (yeah!) because Weather.com has issued a blizzard warning for that part of Stella's route. And if past snowstorms have taught us anything, the city will probably sell out of wine within the next few hours. In fact, I imagine the lines at Trader Joe's, as usual, are already wrapped around the block, so if you're on the East Coast, you may want to duck out of work early today and make sure you stock up.
But besides stocking up on wine (and candles and batteries and bread, as my mother has always insisted is a staple for these things), we also need to concern ourselves with what sex positions you might want to consider trying during the storm. It's expected to be a heavy, wet snow, which is ideal for power outages, so movie marathons might end up being out of the question. Luckily, sex marathons are fair game — and an excellent way to stay warm. Since that's the case, here are 13 sex positions to keep you busy during Stella.
How to do it: Start in missionary, then lift your legs and roll back so your weight is on your upper back and shoulder blades. Then have your partner penetrate you. You can rest your legs on their shoulders.
Why it's great for Stella: This position allows for deep penetration, and in between all those glasses of wine, you're probably going to want some deep penetration. How's that for logic?
2Weak In The Knees
How to do it: With either you or your partner lying down (this one is all about taking turns), the other person straddles their partner's face.
Why it's great for Stella: Well, it doesn't have to be National Sit On My Face Day to sit on your partner's face, or vice versa. So, go for it.
How to do it: While in the spooning cuddle position, have your partner penetrate you from behind.
Why it's great for Stella: Spooning is ideal for any cold weather, because it's definitely one of the coziest positions out there. And since you'll probably be spooning a lot over during Stella, you might as well have sex at the same time.
How to do it: After awhile, you might get sick of spooning, so you'll turn over and face each other for some face to face cuddle action. From here, it's just a matter of draping your upper leg over your partner's hip, then having them penetrate you. This is a great intimate position that will keep you nice and warm.
Why it's great for Stella: Simply put, positions like this were made for blizzards.
How to do it: For this one, you can either start in traditional doggy style, then lower yourself down, or start already lowered. Next, as you would for with regular doggy style, have your partner penetrate you from behind.
Why it's great for Stella: Because blizzards are all about staying warm and maybe getting a little bit sweaty, and this position does just that, along with providing that deep penetration that comes with doggy style.
How to do it: While on your hands and knees a la doggy style, have your partner reach around and stimulate your clitoris with a toy.
Why it's great for Stella: Since many of us have a drawer of sex toy goodies, you might as well break them out for Stella. If you don't have a drawer of goodies, then maybe while you're out today picking up wine, you should go shopping for a sex toy (or two) as well.
8The Side Straddle
How to do it: With your partner on their back, have them bend one leg. Next, you want to slide yourself onto them while you straddle the bent leg.
Why it's great for Stella: This is one of the great ones when it comes to sex positions that stimulate the clitoris. And since the majority of women can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation, this position is going to hit the spot perfectly.
How to do it: With your partner on their side while facing you as if they're just hanging out having a nice chat, lie perpendicular to them. Next, drape your legs over their hips while they penetrate you. It sounds trickier than it is, but if you and your partner look like this photo, then you're doing it right.
Why it's great for Stella: For starters, this position will make your partner last longer. Secondly, you're snowed in and have no place to go, so why not take your time?
10The Sofa Embrace
How to do it: This one is like doggy style, but with some added comfort. Basically, you want to drape your body over the back of a couch while your partner penetrates you from behind.
Why it's great for Stella: If you don't lose power, there's a good chance that you'll have some sort of movie marathon. So based on that assumption, you're already on the couch, so why not use that couch as a prop in your sexin' times?
How to do it: As long as you and your partner are within each other's sights, that's all that really matters. Once that part has been established, just start masturbating.
Why it's great for Stella: When you practice mutual masturbation with your partner, a lot of things come into play. First of all, you're creating intimacy. It's pretty intimate to masturbate in front of someone else. You're also giving your partner a lesson in how you get yourself off, while learning how they get themselves off. Blizzards give us a lot of time to kill, so you might as well kill some of it with a lesson or two.
12The Crab Walk
How to do it: While in the crab walk position and facing your partner, get close enough so you can lower yourself into their lap, as your legs become intertwined for leverage.
Why it's great for Stella: When it comes to difficult sex positions, the crab walk always finds its way on to the list. Yes, it's difficult, but it's also worth it, because in this position both you and your partner have a great view of you being penetrated, which is hot. You have a lot of time to kill during a blizzard, so you might as well put a difficult position on the list.
How to do it: Although you might already know how to do this one, if it's been a while, here's a refresher. Lie on your back while your partner gets on top and penetrates you.
Why it's great for Stella: Sometimes you just want to get back to basics. And should you lose power, doing something familiar might be easier to swing in the darkness.
It sounds like we're in for one hell of a doozy of a snowstorm or blizzard — depending on what sources you turn to for your weather updates. Either way, you'll want to be prepared. So in addition to wine, batteries, candles, some snacks (delivery probably won't be happening tomorrow, New Yorkers), you might want to have some sex positions ready to go. Hopefully these 13 inspired you.