When it comes to having sex, it should be a two-way street. What I mean by this is, unless you're in a sub/dom sexual relationship where it's been decided that one goes without pleasure while the other reaps all the goodies,
sex should be pleasurable for both people. Even if an orgasm isn't achieved, as sometimes is the case, it doesn't mean that sex can't be pleasurable and extremely satisfying. I mean, that is the point after all, isn't it?
Sex can be the perfect conduit to build intimacy between a couple because it addresses both the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy," Dr. Kat Van Kirk, relationship and sex expert, tells Bustle. "Skin-to-skin contact allows for the release of the 'bonding' hormone oxytocin and helps you build trust — an important component of intimacy. Emotionally, sex can help you learn to open up and become vulnerable with your partner by being willing to try new things and discuss sensitive topics related to your sexuality."
healthy sex lives should always involve exploration and trying new things. Even if you're not ready to just way out of your comfort zone, a great place to start is with experimenting with new sex positions — especially ones that maximize pleasure for both you and your partner. Here are nine sex positions guaranteed to satisfy you both. How to do it: While on all fours, have your partner, while on their knees, enter you from behind, either with their penis or a sex toy. If you have weak wrists, you can drop down to your elbows and forearms to support you. Also, the more you arch your back in this position, the deeper the penetration. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: First of all, the doggy style position remains a favorite across the board. People with penises love it, because they can penetrate very deeply in this position. As for those with vaginas, doggy style hits the G-spot perfectly, and even if you don't end up experiencing a vaginal orgasm, it can still feel fantastic. How to do it: With your partner laying on their back, straddle them. Next, proceed to, well, ride them, grinding your bodies against each other. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: When a person with a vagina is on top, they has total control over their orgasm, which means the clitoral stimulation from grinding against their partner's pubic bone can help them orgasm. For people with penises, this is pleasurable because they know the chances of their partner climaxing are pretty good in this position, while they get to just lay there and enjoy themselves.
Doggy Style With A Vibrator
How to do it: Simply, get into the traditional doggy style position, then add a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris. However, if you're the one who will be holding the vibrator, you definitely want to get comfortable as holding your upper body up with only one hand can be tricky for some. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: This particular position is a real winner for both partners. Not only does the person with the vulva get their clitoris and G-spot stimulated at the same time, upping their chances of having the elusive blended orgasm, but their partner also gets to enjoy the vibrations as they trickle on down to them, while experiencing the awesome sensation of deep vaginal penetration. How to do it: With one of you on top and one on the bottom, facing in opposite directions, nuzzle your face into each others genitals and begin oral stimulation. You can also do this while on your sides. It's about choosing what's most comfortable for both of you. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: As long as both partner enjoying giving oral and receiving oral, 69 can be an amazing experience because you're enjoying it all at once. In fact, 69 is so great that it's what they call in the business world a win-win. There are no losses in a 69. How to do it: With your partner laying flat on their back, straddle them while facing away. It's just like the cowgirl, but you're facing in the other direction. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: Similar to traditional cowgirl, the the person with the vulva is in charge of their orgasm, so when that's part of a sexual scenario you know it's a great position. As for the companion with the penis (or strap-on), again, similar to traditional cowgirl, they gets to lay there, relax, enjoy the view, and focus on the sensation of being stimulated vigorously (or slow and easy) by their partner. How to do it: While laying on your back on a flat surface, with your legs crossed and in the air, have your partner, while standing, penetrate you in this position. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: The tightness you create with your crossed legs also creates a tightness in your vagina that's a sensation you'll both really enjoy. This particular tightness is actually why this position is great for people with smaller penises. But in addition to the tight sensation is the G-spot stimulation for people with vaginas and, if they so desire, the position is perfect for them to stimulate their clitoris either manually or with a vibrator, as their partner pulls their legs toward them for more leverage. How to do it: With your partner laying down on their back and one of their knees bent, straddle that bended knee. Next, you want to lower yourself onto their penis while facing away from them. If your partner has a vulva, you can also use this position to grind against their vulva, achieving clitoral stimulation for both of you. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: First and foremost, when it comes to sex positions for the clitoral stimulation, this one is on the top of the list, because you can easily rub your pubic bone and clit against your partners thigh or vulva to ensure orgasm. Secondly, it allows for rear entry into the vagina for the penis, if a penis is involved, meaning it's penetrating deeper and creating more sensation for both of you. How to do it: While on your knees, drape yourself over the back or side of the sofa. Next, have your partner, while also on their knees, penetrate you as they would in doggy style. Honestly, it's basically doggy style but with a sofa against your mid-region, so you have less work to do. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: The most pleasurable aspect of this particular position is comfort. You're both on the sofa, you're bent over it so there's no pressure on your arms and wrists, and your partner is bent over you who's all cozy on the sofa. How to do it: For this one, you can either start laying down on your stomach, as your partner climbs on top and penetrates you from behind or you can start in traditional doggy style and lower yourselves down together. Why it maximizes pleasure for both partners: Again, rear vaginal penetration is always a winner for both partners. And, similar to the sofa brace, you have the comfort of the bed against you, as opposed to putting pressure and weight on your wrists and knees, as well as on the knees of your partner. Because your bodies are on top of each other, either you or your partner have easy access to stimulating your clitoris, in addition to the phenomenal penetration.
Ultimately, the sex positions that are going to maximize pleasure for both partners aren't going to be set in stone, because we're all into different things. But these nine positions are a great place to start.
This post was originally published on January 17, 2018. It was updated on August 16, 2019.