Sex & Relationships

The 5 Best Sex Positions For Reaching Orgasm

It's OK to focus on yourself sometimes.

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While it's great to focus on having better sex with your partner, and to make sure you're both enjoying yourselves in bed, remember it's OK to focus purely on yourself at times as well — particularly if you're someone who tends to have trouble orgasming during sex.

According to Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, her clients often ask, "Do other women ever run into this?" And her answer is always a resounding "yes." She points out that movies and porn make it seem like people come every single time they hook up, but the reality is most people with vaginas have a hard time reaching orgasm during penetrative intercourse alone. (It's so common, she even offers an entire online course dedicated to teaching women how to do it.)

It's still possible, of course, to enjoy sex, even if you don't orgasm. It'll still feel good, and it'll still be nice to be close to a partner. But as far as actually coming is concerned, Marin says you may want to try out the best sex positions for female orgasm.

Everyone is different, but the following five positions are the ones Marin says tend to lead to success most frequently. So, let your partner know that you want to finish tonight, and that you'll be trying something new. The, give each of these a try, and see which one works best for you.

On Top

How to do it: Have your partner lie on their back. Climb on top, with one leg on either side of their torso. It’s usually better to focus more on rocking your body back and forth, rather than trying to bob up and down. You can also try grinding your pelvis in slow circles or in a figure-eight motion.

Why it works: Being on top is a fave position for a lot of people with vaginas because it gives them complete control over the pace, angle, and level of stimulation. There are a ton of fun variations of this position, making it very versatile. Plus, it isn't the most intense position for a partner with a penis, so they may be able to last a lot longer than usual, giving you more time to reach your peak.

Variations: Turn around so that you’re facing your partner's feet. This position is called Reverse Cowgirl, and it gives you a different angle to work with. You can also try asking your partner to prop their body up a bit, or even sit all the way up. The new position of their abdomen will give you a variety of surfaces to grind against, and the different angles of a partner's penis or strap-on will stimulate all kinds of spots inside of you.

Try leaning back slightly, to increase the stimulation of your G-spot, if you need a bit more. You can also very easily reach down to stroke your clitoris, or ask your partner to touch it for you. (Since many people with vaginas can't orgasm through penetration alone, it's always good to remember to give yourself a hand!)

Doggy Style

How to do it: Get on your hands and knees. Have your partner kneel behind you. They can hold onto your hips while they thrust away. You can either stay still, or, alternatively, push your hips back against them.

Why it works: Doggy style makes for super deep stimulation. People with vaginas who are able to orgasm from penetration alone will benefit from the intensity of this position, and from the direct G-spot stimulation. And people with vaginas who require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm will find it particularly easy to use their hand or a toy in this position.

Variations: Get down on your elbows to change the angle of penetration. Try using one hand to rub your clit, or have your partner reach around your body and rub your clitoris for you. You can also have them stand beside the bed while you stay on all fours on top of it.

Your bed has to be the right height for this to work, but they should be able to thrust much more intensely while standing. Another option is to slowly lower yourself onto your stomach, so that they can either crouch behind you, or lie on top of you from behind.

Coital Alignment Technique

How to do it: Start off in missionary position, with you on your back and your partner on top of you, between your legs. Have them pull their body up toward your head so that their pelvis is slightly higher up your body than it usually is in traditional missionary. Instead of thrusting, they should focus more on grinding against your pelvis.

Why it works: Despite the clinical-sounding name, this is a great position for a lot of people with vaginas. Changing the alignment of your pelvis allows for your partner's pubic bone to rub up against your clitoris and deliver the kind of direct stimulation that many people with vaginas need to reach orgasm.

It’s also great if you happen to be shy about trying difficult or new positions, since it’s extremely easy to maneuver into from the traditional missionary. It’s intimate and low-stress at the same time.

Variations: For even more intense contact, try using your hand to spread your labia apart so that your partner's body rubs directly against your clitoris. Or put a pillow under your hips to create a more accessible angle. You can also try using some lube on your clitoris to create an extra-slippery sensation.

Sideways Straddle

How to do it: This is a somewhat complicated position to get into, but it’s well worth the effort! Have your partner lie on their back with both of their feet flat on the ground. Crouch over them, with one of your legs between their legs, and the other knee resting by their side. Gently lower yourself down, and use your hand to guide your partner's penis or strap-on inside of you.

You’ll essentially be straddling one of their knees, turning away from them. For visualization’s sake, let’s imagine that there’s a clock over their body with the 12 at their head. If you’re straddling their right leg, your body will be pointing at about 7:30. If you’re on their left leg, you should be turned toward 4:30. From there, you’re essentially going to rock back and forth, rubbing against their upper thigh and pubic area.

Why it works: This position allows for fantastic grinding action. You get to control the pace, and you get to decide exactly how much pressure gets placed on your clitoris. It’s also a pretty unique position, and the novelty of it can be quite arousing.

Variations: This position is tricky enough, but you might want to try adjusting the positioning of your legs wider apart or closer together. You can also try leaning back or leaning forward.

The Bridge

How to do it: Start in missionary, then have your partner sit up so they're sitting back on their ankles, with their knees spread wide. While staying on your back, put your feet flat on the bed and arch your hips up a bit. They can grab your hips to help hold you up, and use them for leverage when thrusting.

Why it works: This position creates very deep stimulation, a wonderful feeling of fullness, and a nice angle on the G-spot. Your clitoris is also front and center for your partner to stroke, or for you to reach down and stimulate.

Variations: Your partner can change the angle of their crouch to be lower or higher at any point, and you can bring your body along for the ride by lowering or raising your hips. You can greatly increase the intensity by having your partner rise up onto their knees, and either wrap your legs around their torso, or pull your legs all the way up so your ankles rest on their shoulders.

Have fun!

Expert:

Vanessa Marin, sex therapist

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