Sex & Relationships

11 Clues That Someone Likes You More Than You Think, Based On How They Text You


Be honest. How many times have you caught yourself trying to decipher messages when texting someone you like? When you first start talking, it really can be the best way to figure out how they feel, and knowing how someone texts when they like you is a good skill to have — especially knowing what to look for.

Whether it's a shift in their emoji usage, the frequency with which they respond, or the types of questions they ask, experts say many people will change their texting habits in a noticeable way. It isn't, however, completely infallible. "In person, there are many factors you can use to determine if someone likes you," Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. "This includes vocal tone, facial expressions, physical touch, and other body language indicators."

With texts, these clues will obviously be missing, and words can easily be misinterpreted or misunderstood, Bennett says. Instead, you'll want to look for other positive clues, such as how quickly they respond. These signs can be reassuring as you navigate those early days of dating, but you will eventually want to gather more info.

"Take a risk [in real life] and ask this person out on a date," Stef Safran, a Chicago-based dating expert, tells Bustle. The more often you're face-to-face, the better chance you'll have of figuring out how they feel. And, you can even ask them, straight up, if they're feeling a connection. Here are a few signs they just may say yes, according to experts.

They Send Long, Detailed Texts
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If the person in question writes a novel every time they text you, take it as a good sign. "People give their time and attention to what they like," says Bennett. So, just like someone might linger on a date in order to keep a conversation going, you might notice that they linger via text, too.

Instead of one word answers and quick replies, you'll notice that they share more information. "If the person you text replies with multiple paragraphs and full sentences, [it means they], at the very least, feel a connection to you," Bennett says. They're taking time out of their day to make you a priority, and keep a conversation going. And that might just mean they'd like to get know you more.

Their Messages Are Engaging

Consider it a positive sign if this crush of yours sends engaging texts, as well, like the kind that can easily turn into longer conversations. These usually take more effort, and show that they're interested in having the conversation continue. "This means you do more than share facts and pass along information," Bennett says. "Instead, your texting conversations are deeper and meaningful and create a greater bond to each other."

While they might send the occasional quick recap or short answer, you'll notice that they put thought into what they say the rest of the time. Their day wasn't just "good." They'd rather give details and tell you why. And they want to know what you think, too.

They Reply Quickly
Ashley Batz/Bustle

While some people have busy schedules and won't always text back right away, it's a great sign if your possible-future-partner seems to be holding their phone, and eagerly awaiting your reply.

In fact, as Bennett says, "one of the surest signs someone likes you over text is a rapid response. This shows that the other person is excited to receive your messages and wants to keep the conversation going. It demonstrates that answering you is a priority, even above and beyond other commitments."

Sure, they might not be staring into the screen (and you wouldn't want them to be doing that, anyway) but they certainly have an eye on their phone. And seem excited to write back.

They Start Using Sweet Names

If they slip in a cute name or two, go ahead and let yourself be thrilled. This shows that things are now getting personal, and you're forming a closer bond. "Using pet names such as 'sweetie' or 'babe' are signs they are falling for you," Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, a NYC-based therapist, tells Bustle.

While the person in question shouldn't be doing this too early — you probably won't want to receive any "hey babes" from a perfect stranger, for example — it can be a sweet sign, as you get to know each other better, that they're becoming just a little bit enamored. And if you feel so inclined, go ahead and make up some cute pet names yourself.

They Throw In A Heart Emoji Or Two
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Since it can take a lot of guts for someone to press that heart emoji, receiving one should pique your interest. "If they are sending a lot of hearts, kisses, or the smiley faces with heart eyes, it shows they are adding extra emphasis on sharing 'love,'" Rori Sassoon, premier matchmaker and CEO of PlatinumPoire, tells Bustle.

Of course, if they were sending heart emojis from day one, you might not want to read into it as much. But if you've been chatting for a few weeks and these hearts have started popping up with greater frequency, it may be their subtle way of showing they care. So, if you're feelin' it, go ahead and send a heart right back, and see where it leads.

They Seem Concerned About You

Does this person text to make sure you got home safely? Do they go out of their way to ask about your day? Do they show genuine concern when you don't seem to be acting like yourself?

"Obviously you can’t see facial expressions or hear tone when texting, but you can look at the actual words a person says, such as concern, to get a better idea of their feelings," Hershenson says.

If they're envisioning a future with you, you'll notice that it their texts go beyond fun, light messages, and into more relationship-y territory. They aren't keeping things surface-level, but are now showing they care about you and your well-being.

They're Dishing Out The Compliments

As it goes with face-to-face interactions, where someone might admit they really like being around you, or that they think you're a great person, the same may be true via text, Hershenson says. So keep an eye out for an increase in compliments, as that can be a solid sign they're developing feelings. Also, the fact that they're expressing them shows they're becoming more comfortable with you.

It can be easier, in a way, to share compliments via text, which is why you might receive them on your phone before you hear any in real life. You will, however, want to move past that fairly quickly, and start being open and honest in person, too.

They Acknowledge When They've Dropped The Ball

"When someone follows through consistently with their promises — they contact you when they say they will, and if they forget, they actually acknowledge you — this can show that they really care about you and your feelings," Safran says.

So let's say you had plans to talk to each other one night, but they ended up not calling. If you wake up the next morning to an earnest apology text and an explanation, it shows they not only care about your feelings, but that they want to make your burgeoning relationship a priority in their life.

The same may also be true if you send a text and it takes a while for them to respond. If someone's into you, they'll likely acknowledge that they're busy and say they'll get back to you soon, instead of just leaving you hanging.

They're Remembering Your Inside Jokes
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If this person is falling for you, they'll make an effort to remember what you say, including inside jokes. And over time you'll realize that their texts seem specifically catered to you and the things you've talked about.

"Each person may have their own 'style,' but when someone repeatedly seems to surprise you with new and different ways to send you emojis, or sends you message that you know are things that apply solely apply to you (inside jokes, special pictures, etc.), then you know [...] they are thinking of you, a lot" Safran says.

According to Safran, these types of detailed and well-thought-out texts are like a modern day love letter, so go ahead and let yourself feel excited.

They Really Seem To Be Opening Up

If you seem to be one of the first people hearing about something good happening to them, or they come to you immediately when something goes wrong, it might just mean you guys are becoming close.

"This shows that you could be 'the one' that they are turning to for validation," Sassoon says. "They feel close and intimate enough to you to share their vulnerable side. It is a sign of closeness. They are letting you into their world."

Again, this simply means they're willing to take conversations beyond everyday chitchat, and turn them into something you can build a relationship on. When that's the case, you'll start to notice your conversations have more substance, not only via text but also in real life.

They Text First Thing In The Morning & Last Thing At Night

Waking up to a "good morning" is always nice. And if you're receiving "goodnight" texts as well, you can rest assured they're thinking about you throughout the day.

It's also meaningful that these texts are coming during more intimate moments of the day, Sassoon says, like while they're lying in bed at the end of a long day. If you find yourselves starting and ending the day together — even if it's just via text — that can mean a lot.

Should you notice any of these habits, and if you feel like you're hitting it off, experts say there's a good chance this person may feel the same way. So enjoy these early conversations, text 'em back, and see where things go from there.


Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and dating expert at Double Trust Dating

Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, NYC-based therapist

Rori Sassoon, premier matchmaker and CEO of PlatinumPoire

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