Life
When we were kids, getting in trouble in school sometimes felt like the end of the world, especially when we felt unfairly accused. Some of the reasons we went to detention in the '90s were legit — like that time those football players stapled the president of the chess club to a bulletin board by his underwear. That wasn't cool. Other times, though, it seemed like teachers sent us to detention hall just to prove they were more powerful than us. They'd make us miss lunch and sometimes even recess and then... and then... they'd call our parents and tell on us. That was the beginning of the end.
I went to detention exactly one time in my life, after showing up to my photography class 10 minutes late — something I thought was acceptable because the teacher was usually running behind by about 15 and never even taught. I maintain my innocence; if you can't be respectful of your students' time, you can't expect them to respectful of your time. But in any event, I stayed out of detention from that point on, although it didn't stop teachers from finding all sorts of silly reasons to cause trouble for us. If you were a child of the '90s, you most likely went to detention at least once — and I bet it was for one of the following (totally ridiculous) reasons.
1
Taking Tests In Milky Pens
Your teacher specified you were to use a number 2 pencil, but you like to live life on the edge. She was not amused, particularly after noticing you dotted all your i's with hearts.
2
Violating The Dress Code
I'll refrain from explaining why dress codes feed into bogus gender roles and unfair stereotypes by policing women's bodies (even though I could totally have this conversation right now), and instead I'll leave it at this: You showed up one morning in a spaghetti-strap tank top with your bra straps showing, and of course immediately ran into Principle Dumb Dumb. Off to detention, you miscreant.
3
Spelling Naughty Words On Our TI-83 Calculators
Ooooo, so bad! This would've been epic if your geometry teacher hadn't walked past your desk just as you were typing "BOOBS" in numbers.
4
Constantly Skipping Class
You thought poetry was for squares and weenies, so you never bothered with English class. You found this to be an appropriate reason for skipping. Your English teacher begged to differ.
5
Sneaking Tamagotchis In Our JanSport Backpacks
Sometimes, we'd sneak them under the desk to discreetly feed them and clean up their poop. Other times, they'd start beeping wildly out of the blue. These situations often ended in detention, but your digital pet was left behind.
6
Making Out With Someone Under The Bleachers
You weren't even allowed to touch each other when you slow-danced, so you knew that a little tongue action under the bleachers was really playing with fire.
7
Sticking Wads Of Bubble Beeper Bubble Gum Under The Desk
This always, always, always ended in detention — after your teacher gave you a special scraper and made you scrape every single piece of gum off of every desk in the room, while the whole class watched and laugh.
8
Passing Notes
Mrs. Smith: "Is that something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"
You: "No."
Mrs. Smith: *opens very intricately folded note that was really meant for your friend Brittany and reads it aloud* "Mrs. Smith smells like bologna."
You: ...
Mrs. Smith: "Get out."
9
Wearing Slap Bracelets
These weren't a big deal in the beginning, but then somehow, people actually started getting hurt. You had such an awesome collection of slap bracelets, too.
10
Not Turning Your Game Boy Off
You played out on recess but didn't want to lose the killer game of Tetris you had going; so you left it turned on and hoped for the best. Then it started making all kinds of weird noises during your pop quiz in geography and, well, we all know how this sad story ends.
11
Getting Lippy With The Teacher
You tried convincing your teacher that "eat my shorts" was actually a compliment, but she didn't buy it. Whatever.
12
Launching Koosh Balls Across The Room
I don't think anyone shot spitballs, aside from in the movies. Instead, we played with Koosh Ball slingshots, which were definitely against school rules.
13
Playing Fart Sounds On Our Yak Baks
It never failed. At least once a week during quiet reading time, someone would play back a fake fart on their Yak Bak and everyone would laugh hysterically — except the teacher, who would always find the culprit and banish them to detention hall.
14
Taping Mature Magazine Cut-Outs Inside Our Lockers
Sometimes, it was harmless pictures of JTT and Freddie Prinze, Jr. (swoon). Other times, it was a rather revealing cut-out from the Abercrombie magazine. A definite no-no.
15
"Inappropriate" T-Shirts
If you ever walked in wearing Bart Simpson or Beavis and Butt-Head, you could expect to be sent home to change with a note pinned to your backpack... or they'd send you straight to detention. You knew better.
16
Hanging In Chat Rooms During Computer Class
You were supposed to be learning how to type with Mavis Beacon. What were you thinking?!
