How To Win Any Thanksgiving Argument

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and we all know what that means: A night of awkward political debates with family members. Sure, it's a cynical way of looking at the holiday, but somehow, long-simmering disagreements always seem to elbow their way onto the Thanksgiving dinner table alongside the turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, and sweet potatoes with marshmallows (the latter being an underrated Thanksgiving treat, if you ask me). Of course, it's wonderful when this doesn't happen, but for the times when an argument is truly unavoidable, you might as well prepare. To that effect, here's how to argue with family members at Thanksgiving and come out on top.

To be sure, it's often better to avoid political arguments altogether as opposed to indulging them. They can get especially nasty — as I discovered myself when the Israel-Palestine question came up at my birthday dinner this year — and nobody wants animosity during the holidays. And yet sometimes, there's just nothing you can do to fend off an impending debate. In those situations, it's best to be prepared.

There's no shortage of political issues with the potential to rear their heads at the Thanksgiving table this year. So, here's Bustle's comprehensive guide to dealing with them if and when they come up.

  1. How to argue for giving Syrian refugees asylum.
  2. How to argue for pro-choice policies.
  3. How to argue for marijuana legalization, to prepare for the moment your uncle catches you smoking a joint after dinner.
  4. How to argue that white privilege exists.
  5. How to argue against defunding Planned Parenthood.
  6. How to argue that sexism still exists, because amazingly, 400,000 years of human history isn't enough to convince some people.
  7. How to argue with anti-vaxxers.
  8. How to argue for mandatory vaccinations in schools.
  9. How to argue for evolution.
  10. How to argue for atheism, because the argument about evolution will probably lead to this.
  11. How to argue for gun control.
  12. How to argue for feminism with men.
  13. How to argue for feminism, just in general.
  14. How to argue for gay marriage, because despite the recent Supreme Court ruling, almost 40 percent of Americans still reject marriage equality.
  15. How to argue with global warming deniers.
  16. How to argue for Obamacare.
  17. How to argue for Hillary Clinton and her accomplishments.
  18. How to argue for Obama's presidency.
  19. How to argue against the death penalty.
  20. How to argue about #GamerGate, in case there are any sexually repressed man-babies at the table.
  21. How to argue for government-funded birth control.
  22. How to argue for vegetarianism, because someone will inevitably ask why you aren't eating any turkey.
  23. How to argue that immigration is a good thing.
  24. How to argue for Obama's immigration policies.