Life

If The '90s Had Hashtags...

by Julie Sprankles

Back in the '90s, we didn't have hashtags. Or, we did — only they were on our phone's dial pads, and we just called them pound signs. Today, though, hashtags add a little something extra to our thoughts and feeling on virtually every form of social media. Ever wonder what hashtags would have trended in the '90s? After all, the '90s proved to be a decade rules by trends. It's not like we would have had any shortage of things to hashtag about, right?

When I was coming of age in the '90s, we were only really just starting to dabble in technology. We had big, bulky home computers that were typically stationed somewhere central in our house, like the dining room. We had dial-up internet. We thought we were way ahead of the curve if we knew the right lingo for chat room chatter. So, yeah, hashtags weren't yet on our radars. We lacked the finesse for technological finesse for things like tweeting, making hashtags an impossibility at that point.

Happily, '90s kids today finally have our fingers on the pulse of home technology and social media. Sure, we may not be as savvy as our younger Millennial cohort (the folks who are considered "digitally native"), but we make do — and that means we are well-versed in hashtags. Knowing now what we didn't know then, here's what we may have hashtagged back in the day.

1. #Whatever

See also: #AsIf, #RollinWithMyHomies, #TotalBetty, #TotalBaldwin, #Buggin, or pretty much anything else from Clueless .

2. #OurPowersCombined

Captain Planet the eco-crusader was way ahead of his time in the '90s! This hashtag definitely would have been a favorite among budding "tree huggers" like myself.

3. #Y2K

It's probably a good thing we didn't have hashtags back then, because #Y2K may have trended so hard that it actually would have caused the collapse of the internet.

4. #GirlPower

How else would we hashtag the selfies, er, Polaroids we took with our BFFs?

5. #MallDaze

Ah, yes... the place we spent most of our spare time. This hashtag would indubitably have included pics of eating giant cookies or sipping on Orange Juliuses in the food court, buying CDs at Sam Goody, and posing with novelty items at Hot Topic.

6. #ByeByeBye

For breakups, obvs. Although this would also work pretty well for brushing off unwanted advances from internet lurkers.

7. #TGIF

Today, we have #TGIT — and heck yes, we hashtag that we're watching Grey's and How to Get Away with Murder. Different shows for the '90s, but same TV-lovin' sentiment.

8. #TalkToTheHand

'Cause the face don't understand! Who am I kidding? I'd totally still use this against a hater coming at me sideways on the interwebz.

9. #WordArt

We created some real masterpieces in WordArt, and the world deserved to see them, gosh damn it.

10. #PurpleParrot

Depending on your druthers, this may instead have been #RedJaguars, #BlueBarracudas, #GreenMonkeys, #OrangeIguanas, or #SilverSnakes. We all had our Legends of the Hidden Temple allegiances.

11. #CantTouchThis

MC Hammer's in the house, y'all! Or, he was. I see this paired with painfully awkward vines of '90s kids actually doing the Hammer dance in our Hammer pants (yep, I for sure had a pair). We'd probably use it in conjunction with #2Legit2Quit.

12. #RIPTamagotchi

Did anyone manage to keep these little digital alien babies alive? If we'd had a hashtag to memorialize the poor things, it probably would have been pretty darn active.

13. #BlockbusterAndChill

You know what I'm talking 'bout, '90s kids.

14. #TopangaAndCory4Eva

There were many, many iconic couples in the '90s — but none really held a candle to the fictitious Boy Meets World duo of Topanga and Cory. Swoon.

15. #FreeWilly

Before #Blackfish, there would have been #FreeWilly. Orca warriors of the world, unite!

16. #NoSoupForYou

In fact, this is but one of a ton of potenital hashtags that could very well have come from Seinfeld. 'Twas a hashtaggable show.

17. #RiotGrrrl

For all the fierce '90s femmes, this hashtag would have been our call-to-action. Expect pictures of chicks rocking out at concerts, raging against the patriarchy, and the like.

Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy (17)