If you forgot to mark it down on your calendar, June 9 is National Sex Day! Although the exact history of the day is a little bit obscure, the reason for June 9 being National Sex Day is pretty obvious: 6/9. Get it? Like the sex position 69. You know, that position that men tend to enjoy more than women, because, at least in this writer's humble opinion, balls-in-face can be an undesirable situation at times. Also, the whole height difference thing doesn't help make it any better.
Shady origins and 69 aside, National Sex Day is a day in which we celebrate —you guessed it — sex. Sex is one of the healthiest (and most enjoyable) things on the planet. The benefits of sex far outweigh the drawbacks (if you practice safe, consensual sex) and it's probably one of the very few things that the world can agree upon as being awesome.
With National Sex Day right here, staring us in the face, we must make the most of it. We must do the day right and really give it the 120 percent of our attention that it truly deserves. We must, absolutely, make it hot AF.
Here's how you're going to do just that:
1Try The 69 Position (Or Do It Again)
Well, of course I have to put the 69 sex position on the list — and at the very top — because of the date! So while it may not be the most ideal sex position for everyone, it's still a sex position that to consider incorporating into your day today, in honor of National Sex Day. It's just basic math.
What's a celebration of sex if you're not having sex with someone you love? So, yes; definitely masturbate today and take your sweet damn time with it, too. Your boss will understand if you're late.
"The singular best sex tip I can give is to get to know yourself. Explore every inch of your body,” Jessica Drake, Sex Educator and creator of Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex tells Bustle. “Learn your likes and dislikes. Masturbate often. Become comfortable with the part(s) of your body that you don't love. This knowledge and confidence will carry on to your sex life with others. When you're trying new things on yourself first, you'll be better at communicating exactly what you like to your partner."
If you're a woman who sleeps with men, then maybe it's time to switch things up — today, of all days. While there's always pegging, something that's become more mainstream in the past couple years, I'm going to suggest massaging your partner's prostate. It's an experience neither one of you will forget any time soon.
"Through prostate massage, men can learn how to receive," Sex Therapist Stefani Threadgill tells Bustle, "which can be an empathic experience for a man who has only experienced the doer role in his sexual experiences."
4Experiment With Lube
Although it seems to come to mind when thinking about anal sex, lube is actually the gift that keeps giving when it comes to sex in general. Lube isn't just great for intercourse, but oral sex and some are great for foreplay massages. So bring on the lube today.
5Invest In A Couples Sex Toy
You don't have to have a serious full-time partner to invest in a couples sex toy, because sex with anyone is the perfect opportunity to break out such a fun goody. The We-Vibe Pivot, which I was fortunate enough to try last week, is a great place to start, putting you one step closer to the coveted vaginal orgasm.
Sexting is... awesome. It's fun, it's silly, it's a great form of foreplay! It's the type of magic that you should give a whirl on National Sex Day.
Ready to take it up a notch? Try emotional intimacy. "The best way to take your relationship to the next level is through emotional vulnerability," Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist and founder of the Relationship Center of Silicon Valley, tells Bustle. "When you allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with your partner from an authentic place, your bond grows to new levels. This emotional intimacy is the foundation for really hot sex in ways that will blow your mind. You'll be able to share not only your fears, your worries, your concerns, you will also be able to share your fantasies, your desires, and what gets you extra hot and excited in bed."
8Keep It Safe
Because if we're going to celebrate something, we should also honor it, keeping sex safe AF is hot AF.
"As a Behavioral scientist, I'd like to stress the importance of protecting yourself given some of the recent increases in STI/D rates (transmission of disease) among young women," Clarissa Silva, Behavioral Scientist and author of relationship blog You're Just A Dumbass tells Bustle. "If you/ your partner don't like male condoms, try the Female condom. Introduce the concept as part of sexual dialogue and foreplay to create sexy safe practice."
9Read Some Erotica
If I could contain all the energy that the written and spoken word has on me, sexually speaking, I could light the Universe on fire. No joke. Even if you're not a self-described verbomaniac (yes, that's a real thing!), reading erotica either alone or with your partner will still make your loins quiver with desire. And I'm talking about stuff that makes Fifty Shades of Grey look like child's play.
10Ask For What You Want
In all this rolling around and sexing it up, what you really want to do is ask for what you want. Although you should always ask for what you want in bed, because of course, today more than any other day, is certainly the day to really put it out there fearlessly.
"The best piece of sex advice I can give is: don't be afraid to ask for what you want,” Adult Performer Casey Calvert tells Bustle. “No matter if you are vanilla or super kinky, with someone who is a one night stand or married for 20 years, your partner won't know what you want if you don't tell them. There's nothing to be ashamed of, and they will appreciate being able to make you happy. If it's just ‘touch me like this,’ you can say that in the heat of the moment. But, if it's something bigger like, ‘I want you to tie me up,’ my suggestion is to bring it up before you get in the bedroom. That way, you can talk about it at length without worrying about killing the mood. Just have an open and honest conversation with your partner. It might suck at first, and feel super uncomfortable, but it'll be worth it."
Oooh! Role play! So. Hot. If done correctly, meaning you don't take the Hannah Horvath role play route, indulging in your fantasies to be someone else can allow you to let go of so much. Suddenly hangups have diminished, apprehension is gone, and you're really living in the moment, experiencing things in a way that you, as in the "you" you always are, just can't. Need inspo? Here's what's most popular among Millennials.
12Buy A New Sex Toy
13Sign Up For A Sex Ed Class
Even if you don't live close to a Babeland or The Pleasure Chest — both which have amazing sex classes and sex-related events — if you dig around in your own community, you're bound to find a sex class or two that will make your National Sex Day extra special. Learning something new to better your sex life is a great way to celebrate the day.
14Talk About Your Sexual Fantasies
Everyone, and I mean everyone, has sexual fantasies. When we talk about them, even before acting of them, it's deliciously hot. It creates an intimacy that can only be created by being open about what you think might really get you going. You don't even necessarily have to act on them; just talking about them can sometimes be enough.
“Some fantasies don’t need to be played out and in fact not all people want to act it out, but most people love to talk about it,” Dr. Dawn Michael, certified clinical sexologist, sexuality counselor, and author of My Husband Wont Have Sex With Me tells Bustle. “With that being said, simply talking about one’s fantasies with a partner can be a turn on and then they can have hot sex after.”
15Sexually Multi-Task — With Food
What? Did I just suggest the ultimate way to make National Sex Day hot AF? Oh, yes, I did. Food and sex are just inherently linked. One study even found that after a woman has eaten, she responds better to romance. The study didn't specify what food, in particular, she should eat before being romanced, but something tells me it's... pizza.
17Slow It Down
Sometimes we rush through sex. Although a quickie can be fun and definitely has its place, take your time today and really enjoy every single second of it.
"Slow down," says Threadgill. "Most people have sex like they eat watching TV. Sex is an experience." I'll second that.
No matter how you choose to celebrate National Sex Day, just make sure it's hot AF. If nothing on this list tickles your fancy, then get creative and dig into the deep recesses of your brain, find what really turns you on, and just go with it.