Just like your best friend's living room or your favorite late-night diner down the street, your relationship should feel like a safe space. If you aren't 100% comfortable in your relationship, it may be something you and your partner can continue to work on. Not only can a lack of comfort hold you back from growing as a couple, but it can also lead to larger problems down the road. "Without comfort, how can there be trust? If you are going to walk on eggshells around someone all day, [you can't be truly] intimate with them," Jorge Fernandez, LCSW, an individual and family psychotherapist, tells Bustle.
A lack of comfort can be a tricky situation to navigate, but it's one you both can begin to overcome with better communication. "One way to try to increase comfort is to do what therapists call 'talking about the talking,'" Fernandez says. "Begin introducing to your partner that you'd like to [start] talking about things that are bothering [you], but don't know where to begin because you want to make sure it's a positive conversation."
Remind them that you're coming from a place of love and a desire to improve your connection. Then, "ask them how you both can successfully have these conversations," Fernandez says. "What else would they need from you?" In what areas can you both improve? And how would you like the relationship to look going forward?
For a few more ideas, here are some things experts say you should be able to do and say in your relationship, in order for it to feel as comfortable and secure as possible.
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