Harry Styles' "Kiwi" Will Definitely Raise Your Eyebrows

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One Direction's pride and joy Harry Styles released his solo album on Friday, May 12, and it's way more than many bargained for. As expected, the artist has a few tracks that are almost blatant in their storytelling — like "Two Ghosts" possibly being about his ex Taylor Swift, for example. There's one track, however, that's been a little tricky for fans to piece together — leaving us all wondering: Who exactly is Styles' "Kiwi" about?

The title itself didn't raise any eyebrows for me initially, but that all changed as soon as I hit play. The singer leads into the song kind of aggressively, letting listeners know that he means business. In the first verse, Styles belts:

"She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes
Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect
And all the boys, they were saying they were into it
Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck"

The story only gets more interesting from there. His projections of "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business" over and over are enough to totally stop a listener in their tracks. Could our little Styles be under the spell of some rocker chick with a taste for cheap vices and late nights? It's either a tale of a rough night that he's refused to speak of until now, or a fantasy that the singer just can't seem to get out of his head.

All in all, with lyrics like, "And now she's all over me, it's like I paid for it. It's like I paid for it, I'm gonna pay for this," you can bet that nothing good is going to come out of this scenario. And it turns out that fans of the One Direction member couldn't take the heat in the kitchen, either. And all of their emotions played out all over Twitter.

Follow the journey for yourself:

And It Started Off Like This...

I, too, was in complete shock when I heard the first synth. Styles is all grown-up, and he has a story to share.

Once Fans Started To Really Dissect The Lyrics, The Questions Started To Arise

Wait...who's pregnant? And why is it none of your business, Styles?

The mere fact that "kiwi" is also a colloquialism for a New Zealander alone, made me think twice about this possible tell-all having some truth to it. The artist was rumored to be linked to model, and New Zealand native, Georgia Fowler back in 2015. But just like any other Styles relationship, details of their short-lived love affair are scarce.

Some Thought The Track Was Purely For Selfish Purposes

You have to admit... having a stadium full of ladies screaming, "I'm having your baby" all at once does sound pretty cool.

While Others Believed There Could Be Some Truth Behind The Whole Thing

Was he actually blasting an ex for keeping him out of his an alleged love child's life? It doesn't seem all that likely.

That Moment When James Corden Says What You've Been Thinking The Whole Time

The Late Late Show host gets it.

But, Before Things Got Too Crazy, Styles Explained The Madness

In an interview on BBC Radio 1 Thursday, Styles put all of those baby mama rumors to rest before they even got a chance to fully stir. "It started out as a joke, now it’s one of my favorite songs," the singer said about "Kiwi." "It’s one of the first ones I wrote for the album, when I was getting out a lot of energy. I hadn’t written in a long time and this is what came out of it."

So, there you have it: "Kiwi" is purely fiction, and that comes straight from the horse's mouth. It sounds like the One Direction-er took a page from Michael Jackson's Thriller, and hand-delivered fans his version of "Billie Jean."