You believe you could be having better sex, more orgasms, and a more intimate relationship, but still struggle to get in the right headspace to give it your all in the bedroom. If you live with roommates, are sharing a house with family or friends, have a squeaky old bed, or are dating a shy partner, you're probably worried about people being able to hear you having sex.
When you're cohabitating with other people, there will be times when you're in a frisky mood but don’t exactly have all the privacy you’d like. But what if you were told that you don’t actually have to wait until everyone else is gone in order to get it on? It’s true. And sex therapist Vanessa Marin is here to reveal the best quiet and hot sex positions for stealthy sex.
"Living with roommates can be quite a challenge, but you can try to see this as an opportunity to get creative," Marin says. "In general, you want to avoid intense thrusting positions since they’re bound to get those bedsprings creaking. Instead, you want to look for positions that emphasize slow grinding or more subtle movements — which, as it turns out, can be pretty hot."
If you're in need of a little top-secret inspiration, here are the top sex positions for quiet, sneaky sex, straight from the pros.
How to do it: Both of you lay on your sides, facing the same direction. This can be a tricky position to get into initially, so raise your top leg, bend over at your waist, and use your hand to guide your partner’s penis or dildo into you. Using lube will also help them slide into place more easily. From there, you can lower your leg and straighten up a bit.
Why it works: In this position, your only option for movement is to grind against each other. Since there’s no thrusting, you’re not likely to make much noise. It tends to be a more intimate, sensual, and slow position, which can be a real plus.
Variations to try: You can play around with the arrangement of your legs to change the level of tightness (your legs sandwiching your partner’s legs, your partner’s legs sandwiching yours, or alternating all of your legs). You can try bending at the waist to change the angle. This is also a good position for anal.
2. Side By Side
How to do it: Both of you lay on your sides, but facing each other. Again, that initial insertion can be a bit tricky, so raise your leg and use lube. Wrap your leg around the top of your partner’s hip and use it as leverage to pull your body closer.
Why it works: This position is similar to spooning, but creates a different angle. You’re also able to look each other in the eye as you grind against each other, so it’s a good substitute for the noisier missionary position.
Variations to try: You can play around with the angle of your top leg by stretching it out straight or squeezing it up towards your chest. Try wrapping that leg around different areas of your partner's body, like their butt, waist, or rib cage.
How to do it: Have your partner sit cross-legged (or as close to cross-legged as they can get!). Straddle their legs and lower yourself down onto their lap, guiding their penis or dildo into you. Wrap your legs around their back, so you’re cross-legged too.
Why it works: In this position, you’re basically squeezing your bodies against each other, so there’s hardly any in-and-out movement. There’s little potential for noise, but it’s still highly erotic.
Variations to try: This is a great position for incorporating a vibrating cock ring since you can position the vibrator right against your clitoris.
How to do it: Have one partner lay on their back. The other partner gets on top, stomach down, facing the opposite direction, so that partner A’s feet are by partner B’s head. You both perform oral sex on each other.
Why it works: Who says sex has to mean penetration? Oral sex is much quieter than penetrative intercourse — and can be just as pleasurable.
Variations to try: You can experiment with which partner is on the bottom and which is on top. You can also try laying on your sides, which can be more comfortable. If giving and receiving at the same time is too much for you, you can always try trading off.
5. Chair Lotus
How to do it: If your bed is too noisy, why not move over to a different piece of furniture? A sturdy chair can be amazing. Have your partner sit down, then straddle them. Wrap your arms around their back or the back of the chair to get into the lotus position. Raise yourself up and down, or grind against them in slow circles.
Why it works: You’re bound to have at least one non-creaky piece of furniture in your room, right? Hopefully.
Variations to try: It all depends on the furniture you have. If you have a sofa or futon, try kneeling facing the back of the sofa with your arms propped up on the backrest and have your partner enter you from behind.
6. Doggy Style On The Floor
How to do it: Get on your hands and knees. Have your partner get on their knees and enter you from behind.
Why it works: This is another easy way to escape your bed. Most positions don’t work well on the floor because it’s just too hard of a surface to be bearable, but doggy style can be made comfortable by throwing down your bedspread or a few pillows to protect your knees. This is also a fantastic option for anal.
Variations to try: Lower yourself down onto your elbows to change the angle of penetration. You can play around with having one partner stay still and the other take control of the thrusting.
7. The Lap Sit
How to do it: Sit on the edge of an armless chair or on the bed, with the receiving partner on top and both partners facing the same direction. The person on top uses their partner’s thighs for leverage as they move up and down.
Why it works: Using a chair and your partner’s thighs for support is a quiet way to get it on, without a ton of maneuvering or noise.
Variations to try: Spice things up by getting a quickie in between holiday dinner courses. “This position works great if you are wearing a dress or skirt, or you can also add in some crotchless panties to make it even easier,” says sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova.
How to do it: If you and your partner are able to sneak away for a “walk,” Frye-Nekrasova recommends going old school and taking it to the car — if you can park it around the corner because you “couldn’t find street parking.” You could also try to find a hidden wall to have standing sex against (this would only work if you’re in a private area because, ya know, no one wants to get arrested).
Why it works: You’re much less likely to get caught, and as long as the car is in an inconspicuous area, you’re free to go at it. Plus, the excitement of feeling like two teenagers sneaking around again can really bring the heat.
Variations to try: Play around with different positions if you’re coordinated enough, or bring toys with you for maximum pleasure since the space is tight.
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