Sex & Relationships

Why Your Partner Might Turn Down Sex, Based On Their Sign

Because some members of the zodiac are more direct than others.

by Kristine Fellizar
There are a lot of different reasons your partner might not be interested in sex, and their zodiac s...
jeffbergen/E+/Getty Images

When your partner turns down sex, it’s easy to immediately start overthinking things. Like, what does it really mean when they say they’re “not in the mood”? Are they just tired? Did something happen at work? If not, is it you? Are they no longer attracted to you anymore? There are so many different reasons for why your partner might not want sex. According to Stina Garbis, professional astrologer and psychic, your partner’s zodiac sign can clue you into what might be going on in their head.

“Pluto, a ruler of the underworld and ruler of Scorpio, has a lot to say about our hidden motivations — especially around sex and hang ups,” Garbis says. In order to get an idea of why your partner doesn’t feel like getting frisky, look at Pluto and how it behaves in each sign.

As the ruler of the 8th House of Marriage, Sex, and Death in astrology, Pluto’s domain holds the key to unlocking our otherwise-hidden raw passions and primal urges. “Pluto, because of its secretive nature, will show up in our most intimate relationships, marriages and sexual encounters,” Garbis says.

With that said, communication is paramount in a healthy relationship. Asking your partner why they turned down sex is always a good idea. But if you feel like they’re not being completely honest with you, or it’s been happening more frequently than usual, astrology can be helpful. So here’s what it means when your partner doesn’t want to get intimate, according to their zodiac sign.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

By nature, rams are honest and direct. If they say they’ve had a long day, you can usually trust that work really is the reason why they’re not feeling the sexy vibes you’re putting out. However, if they’re consistently turning you down, it’s worth paying attention to. According to Garbis, if an Aries feels blocked or stuck in a relationship, they may start freezing their partner out. “They might withhold sex as a passive aggressive measure to tell their partner that they’d rather be somewhere else,” Garbis says. “They’d do so to force the other person to act and either change things up or leave altogether. An underlying feeling of vulnerability, that their sense of self is threatened, may cause this defense.”

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Like their fellow Earth signs, Taurus is very hardworking and ambitious. Since they’re ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty, money, and luxury, material possessions are very important to them. If they’re refusing sex, their priorities may be concentrated on work. “Taurus will use wealth and status as a way to attract a partner and may be so focused on outer appearances that they overlook the deeper intimacies waiting for them,” Garbis says. In other cases, Taurus may use a lack of sex as punishment if their partner makes them angry. They might refuse sex in order to get their partner to do what they want like quit a bad habit.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

In general, airy Gemini can be tough to decipher because they’re so multi-dimensional. Sometimes what they show the world isn’t a perfect reflection of what’s going on inside their head. If they’re refusing sex, they may be obsessing over something they don’t want to tell you about. “They may be worrying about work or the relationship, but don’t want to say anything for fear that they may say the wrong thing,” she says.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Cancers are highly sensitive Water signs whose moods change all the time. Even a harmless joke can deeply offend them. So if they’re not interested in getting intimate, you may have done something that bothered them. According to Garbis, Cancer signs will also reject sex if they don’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship. This might happen if you just started dating, and you’re still in the getting-to-know-you stage.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

In astrology, Leo is ruled by the Sun, which governs the Self. If Leo is not interested in sex, they may be a crisis of confidence. “They may be feeling insecure about themselves and are shutting down out of intense shame,” Garbis says. “Leo has an inflated ego, but when they are feeling insecure it’s like a tidal wave of depression. This checking out could be a call for attention and compliments.”

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo rules the 6th House of Health and Service, so they’re very conscious about living a healthy lifestyle. If they aren’t interested in sex, there’s a chance they may not be feeling well. According to Garbis, they may be physically ill, or their mind is elsewhere, preoccupied with a work problem or family tension. This another zodiac sign who will most likely be honest with you about why they’re not in the mood if asked, so shy away from the question if you’re concerned.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Libras are Air signs who tend to make their relationships their whole world. They’re ruled by the 7th House of Partnerships, so they put a lot of effort into making sure their partner is happy. If they’re turning down sex, Garbis says, they may be projecting their fears onto their partner. “They will most likely withhold sex because they think their partner doesn’t want it, is avoiding them, or isn’t interested,” she says. They might also refuse sex if they’re feeling disengaged from the relationship and are ready to look elsewhere.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpios are known for being very mysterious because they keep things to themselves. According to Garbis, there are a million different reasons why a Scorpio would turn their partner down. In some cases, they may do it as a way to play mind games. Scorpios like being in control, and refusing sex is one way they can gain the upper hand. On the other hand, they might be repressing the strong feelings that come with sex. “There is an intensity to the act that’s overwhelming them so they avoid it,” says Garbis. “They may deny themselves pleasure for fear it will take over and disrupt their life.”

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is the type of sign who’s always down for a good time. Making a commitment isn’t a big priority for them, but they definitely enjoy the physical benefits of being in a couple. Because of that, refusing sex could be a sign that there are problems in the relationship. According to Garbis, Sagittarius may feel like the relationship isn’t working or it’s something that just doesn’t interest them anymore. “There’s nothing left for them and they may be longing to escape,” she says.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn, the zodiac’s goat, is known for prioritizing work over sex and relationships. For them, sex is something they do to unwind. If they have a big project or deadline looming, there’s a good chance they’ll be uninterested in sex until they’ve finished everything on their to-do list. According to Garbis, another big reason for why they’d turn their partner down is resentment. If they don’t fully trust their partner or if they feel like they’re being controlled, they will shut down any attempts at intimacy.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

When mysterious Aquarius isn’t in the mood, they may give you an idea as to why, but won’t tell you the whole story. “They may be saving themselves until the time is ‘right,’ with ‘right’ being a whole host of criteria that needs to be met,” Garbis says. “It could be that they’re waiting for the right time, right place, or right person. If they’re feeling uncomfortable about getting physically intimate, it may be because they fear an emotional connection.”

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces is known for being the zodiac’s hopeless romantic; they’ll do whatever it takes to make a relationship last. According to Garbis, Pisces tend to be apprehensive about making moves in a partnership for fear of change. “They may worry a lot that the relationship is ending and may take strange actions to preserve it, or worse, sabotage it,” she says. Refusing sex may be their way of gaining some control in the relationship. This might happen especially if they feel like their partner is pulling away. Pisces is also a highly sensitive Water sign who gets their feelings hurt easily. If their partner says something they don’t like, Pisces may shut down.


Stina Garbis, professional astrologer and psychic