Most of us know about the positive personality traits associated with our zodiac sign — those glowing qualities that we're born with, according to astrology. But we all have a few slightly negative or
off-putting qualities based on our sign as well. And while these traits may not be as confidence-boosting or fun to read about, they're just as important to acknowledge.
By being aware of what makes us "us" — including traits that aren't always so positive — we can get to know ourselves better. But being aware of the ways we can seem "off-putting" to others, can also mean having healthier and more meaningful relationships with others.
"Most people aren't aware when the traits that are so much a part of their basic nature are [off-putting] to others, and they don't understand why these cause problems," author and
astrologer Skye Alexander tells Bustle. But they very well may explain why you've been feeling isolate, held back, or misunderstood.
Knowing about these traits doesn't mean we have to change ourselves, or hide who we really are. And yet, it can help to be aware of them and balance them out with more positive qualities — all in the name of
having healthier interactions. Here, the one "off-putting" personality trait for each zodiac sign, as well as how to balance it out.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Being Confrontational
As one of the more assertive signs, Aries is known for doing whatever it takes to reach their goals. But they can occasionally go overboard with their assertive energy, sometimes even to the point they get confrontational.
And that can definitely rub others the wrong way. "Their aggressive and combative nature can be an asset on the playing field, but they can have trouble discerning when conflict is beneficial and when it's detrimental," Alexander says. "
Count to 10 before you speak could be good advice for Aries individuals."
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Over Spending
Taurus is all about creating a comfortable life for themselves, which is one of their best qualities. But they can easily take it too far.
"Their appreciation of beautiful, luxurious objects may ... lead them to spend more than they can afford and max out their credit cards," Alexander says. And that can cause problems not only personally, but also in their relationships.
"Taurus folks can benefit from setting limits on themselves," Alexander says, which may include creating a budget
so they don't overspend.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Gossiping
The fact Gemini is always down to have a conversation can be one of their most endearing qualities —
right up to the point they start gossiping.
As Alexander says, "They're prone to gossip and don't always check to make sure what they convey is accurate." Which can get them into trouble, for obvious reasons.
"Before sharing information, these chatty folks might want to consider whether what they're about to say is true, helpful, necessary, and kind," Alexander says. And if not, they may want to keep it to themselves.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Being Over-Protective
All Cancer wants to do is take care of their family and friends. And while that's a great trait to have, they can take it to the point where they're smothering everyone they love.
"They fear losing those they cherish and can smother friends and family members," Alexander says. They can also come off as needy and manipulative, even though it's just their way of remaining in control — and keeping everyone safe.
While this trait comes from a good place, it's important that Cancer learns to let their loved ones live their lives, possibly
by establishing boundaries and getting used to creating some distance.
Leo (July 23 - August 22): Stealing The Spotlight
Leo is known for being self-confident and charismatic, and they often light up any room they enter. They can, however, come easily off as
self-centered and arrogant, which doesn't always go over well.
"They love attention and may shamelessly hog the spotlight," Alexander says. "They'd do well to share the glory and acknowledge the input of others, in the workplace or at home — doing so will likely engender greater support from those they seek to lead."
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Nit-Picking
Virgo loves to be meticulously organized, and is often so tuned into their surroundings as a result, that they quickly pick up on other people's mistakes and ways they've fallen short.
While it's fine that Virgo cares so much about the details, it's the fact they come down hard on others that's the problem. "They can annoy less meticulous people with
their nit-picky behavior," Alexander says. "At times, they can seem overly critical and fussy, unable to see the woods for the trees."
For Virgo, it never hurts to take a step back, take a deep breath, and loosen up. "These cautious folks might benefit from learning to use their discriminating skills to separate what really matters from what doesn't, and learning to relinquish control in some areas," she says.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): Being Argumentative
As the peacemakers of the zodiac, Libra tries to be fair to everyone, Alexander says. "However, this makes it difficult for them to reach decisions and they may waffle indefinitely over even small choices, like where to go for dinner or which shoes to wear."
For Libra, balancing out this "off-putting" trait means making the decision to
be more decisive. Even if they make the wrong choice from time to time, it's better than getting stuck.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Controlling Others
Scorpio wants to have power in every situation, whether it be at work, with friends, or in their relationships. And as a result, they often rub others the wrong way by coming off as too controlling and domineering.
"Power struggles and control issues can be problems for Scorpios," Alexander says. "In romantic relationships, they tend to be intense and passionate, which too often manifests as jealousy and possessiveness."
It's always possible for Scorpio to tone it down, though, by opening themselves up to
being more trusting. As Alexander says, "Although it's hard for them, they could benefit from being more open, communicative, and trusting toward the people they care about."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Letting Others Down
This is one sign that loves to make others happy. And they're good at it, too. But Sagittarius can take it too far, and often lets others down without even realizing it.
"In an effort to please everyone, Sagittarians can sometimes promise more than they can deliver and consequently fail to live up to their agreements," Alexander says. "These well-meaning folks need to set limits for themselves, and check in regularly to see if they're
fulfilling their responsibilities in a timely manner."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Being Overly-Cautious
As a highly traditional sign, Capricorn isn't always keen to embrace new ideas or ways of doing things. And that's fine when it comes to running their own lives, but it's one trait that can end up annoying others.
"Their recalcitrance can irritate more progressive folks who find them stodgy," Alexander says. "Although their caution and pragmatism may prevent hasty actions, they can
benefit from taking a few risks and exploring new territory both professionally and personally."
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Pushing Others Around
Aquarius is always at the forefront when it comes to sharing new ideas, and challenging the norm. "However, they can be ... self-righteous and pushy in doing so," Alexander says. "Their know-it-all attitude can put off people who might agree with them, and their impatience at the slow pace with which change sometimes occurs can irritate by-the-book people."
That's why they can
benefit from slowing down, as well as taking the time to hear other people's ideas. "Because Aquarians are group-oriented, who seek the greater good, they can draw upon their egalitarian ideals to find solutions that will benefit everyone," she says. And in doing so, they can form healthier relationships.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Being Difficult To Work With
Pisces is often focused on higher realms than the "real world," Alexander says, which is what gives them their dreamy quality.
But it is a trait that can rub others the wrong way. "These idealists seek perfection and ideal situations, but often lack the practical skills to
bring their dreams to fruition, which can be frustrating to those who have to deal with them personally and professionally," Alexander says. "Establishing routines and responsibilities in their work and home lives can help Pisces people ground themselves in the everyday world."
While it's fine that we all have a few "off-putting" qualities, it's often a good idea to be aware of them — including how they might be holding us back — so we can learn to balance them with our positive traits. And
feel more balanced ourselves, as a result.