It’s fair to say that my job these days is to play Sherlock Holmes whenever a new Gilmore Girls teaser image or tidbit hits one of my social media feeds. Every Instagram holds some secret significance, every promo image reveals a subplot... or not. Truth is, Gilmore Girls revival theories are just that: theories. But it is interesting to play detective and use clues to guess what may happen in A Year In The Life.
Of course, it isn’t your job to conceive of these theories. Instead, it’s your curiosity that led you into this potentially spoiler-y territory. And then your curiosity brought you here. Well, as I am a woman of my words, I’ve decided to deliver only some of the stand-out, significant theories regarding the four-episode Gilmore Girls Netflix revival. Some are certainly farfetched, and some are all but disproven. Some may even be things you never considered until now. But all of them involve overanalyzing a CW dramedy from the early 2000s, and why own wifi if you’re not going to use it for that?
So, lovingly compiled from your very own Gilmore Girls super sleuth, here is a fresh sampling of just some of our revival theories.
1. Lorelai And Luke Will Be Getting Married In The Revival... Or At Least Someone In Stars Hollow Will
Ever since prop photos were released teasing a Gilmore Girls wedding, the Stars Hollow OTP became the prime candidates for it. Casual hearsay is that the pair is engaged, and there's a suspect image of Luke in a tux... you know, something a bit out-of-the-norm for a man who owns so many flannels. Of course, there's no shortage of couples who could be getting hitched, but those two crazy kids are long overdue for nuptials.
2. Or, Alternately, The Gilmore Girls Wedding Is Part Of A Dream Sequence
Lorelai is prone to dream sequences shining light on her Luke feels, so who's to say that she's not dreaming of an elaborate ceremony?
3. Lorelai Will Be Pregnant In The Revival
There was plenty of speculation about this because of a GG teaser Instagram of an apple perched on top of Pop Tarts in the revival — and Lorelai craved apples when she was pregnant with Rory. Furthermore, Lorelai's stomach was curiously obscured in the Gilmore Girls trailer, as she boasted a shirt that said "I'm With Human." But, since the trailer isn't a part of the series and for a million other reasons, I would say that this theory is a stretch at best. Like, sure, it's not impossible that Lorelai, a woman in her deep 40s, is pregnant. But if she is I will eat my hat. Likewise...
4. Rory Will Be Pregnant In The Revival
This ties back to the apple image, and the theory suggests that it works better if Rory is pregnant since she's 32... the same age Lorelai was at the start of the series. Poignant. But also probably not, because the apple and Pop Tart pairing really seems to suggest...
5. Rory Will Be Going Back To School, In Some Way Or Another
As it would turn out, the apples and Pop Tarts actually reference a scene where Lorelai makes a study snack for Rory. So perhaps she's going to get her Masters in Journalism, or perhaps she's going be lean into academia another way. Which leads us to the next theory...
6. Rory Becomes A Teacher Within The Course Of The Revival
Early promo images suggested that Rory was teaching at her alma mater Chilton, but a recent check-in on the younger Gilmore says otherwise: Rory has been leading sort of a vagabond life as a journalist. Now, maybe she shows up at Chilton as a special guest speaker, the famed Rory Gilmore imparting wisdom on a younger generation. However, it's still entirely plausible that Rory could do a career upheaval and settle for teaching English. It would be a controversial decision, sure, but it seems like Rory needs some stability, and nobody could deny her passion for books.
7. Emily Will Be Dating Someone New
This is a heart-wrenching thing to think about, since we're still not over the loss of Richard (and, subsequently, Edward Herrmann). I can't discount the horrifying possibility that Emily has already moved on, though.
8. Sookie Is Living In England
We can all breathe easy now, because we know Melissa McCarthy is going to be in the revival after all. However, the assumption is that it's still more of a quick cameo than a consistent presence. So how do we explain away Sookie's absence for the majority of the revival? Well, there was a photo released of a Union Jack flag hanging from the Sookie and Jackson's place, so maybe she's now a famed celebrity chef doing doing a cook book tour in Europe. Hell, I don't know.
9. A Pivotal Scene Is Hidden In The GG Teaser Trailer
We know from the first page of the script that the Gilmore firls converge at the Stars Hollow gazebo, and there's a split-second scene that features a slim brunette walking out of that gazebo (Rory? Lorelai? Bueller?). However, we also know the series starts in winter and files through the seasons that way... so therefore, it would end in fall. Could this possibly be a part of the big Gilmore ending scene then, with the gazebo being used to make the story come full circle? That seems a little too transparent for my taste, but not impossible.
10. Kirk’s Film Is Going To Be Made Into A Musical
Dear God, please let that Instagram teaser of the VHS hold some significance. Please let the Stars Hollow play be an adaptation of that black-and-white cinematic disaster.
11. Rory Is Totally Going To End Up With Dean/Jess/Logan
OK, I'm just going to lump these statements all together, because I know we are a fandom divided by teams and I want to allow you to pick your poison accordingly. Maybe a game of "1, 2, 3 He's Yours" means that Rory's third boyfriend Logan is her endgame. Maybe the series ending in autumn is a hint that she could reconnect with Dean. Or maybe Milo Ventimiglia's love of motorcycles means Jess is going to be the guy Rory throws her life away for... or, um, that they'll just happily ride off into the sunset. I'm leaning towards the latter.
12. Rory Is Totally Going To End Up With Marty
That would be a hell of a twist if Marty was introduced as a last minute dark horse contender, the love interest that never was. But he always gave off massive "Nice Guy" vibes, and then he was super shady about Rory during his relationship with Krysten Ritter. So maybe not.
13. There May Have Been Fake Gilmore Girls Scenes Shot, So Everything You Know Could Be A Lie
Actually, Jackson Douglas all but confirmed that there were fake scenes shot, so honestly? Trust nothing you read on the Internet. Every theory is suspect.
We'll have to see how many of these theories do or don't pan out when the series finally makes its way to Netflix. Until then, keep speculating, my fellow Gilmore fans. It makes the wait seem a lot shorter.
Images: Netflix; Giphy (13)