If you're in a long-term relationship, you might've noticed that your sex life waxes and wanes. You likely went through a honeymoon period, where it seemed like you were never not having sex, followed by a very common period where you were having less sex in your relationship — as well as periods of no sex at all. And that's all perfectly OK.
It is important, however, to be on the lookout for signs your partner isn't enjoying sex, especially if that's not typical for them. A lack of interest in sex can strike anyone at any time, and in many cases it's due to something completely unrelated to the relationship — like stress at work, or exhaustion. But since it can begin to have an impact on your connection, it's important to recognize these signals and talk to your partner to figure out a solution.
"The best way to improve your sex life is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner," Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. "You’ll need to resist the urge to get defensive or upset at the feedback. [...] View the conversation not as an attack, but a chance to better meet the needs of your partner — and have [them] better meet your needs."
Once you start the convo, you and your partner will be better able to get on the same page about your sex life, talk about how much sex you'd like to be having, and chat about any underlying issues that might be holding you back — all in the name of feeling close again. Here, a few signs experts say may point to your partner's lack of interest in sex, as well as what to do about it.