The One Creepy Thing You Need To Do This Halloween Season, Based On Your Sign
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, not December; I mean fall. The fact that it is fall means that it’s also the Halloween season —which means that it is, in turn, time to starting thinking about the wide variety of creepy things to do based on your zodiac sign that become available for entertainment purposes during the months when the leaves are changing and the weather is getting colder. I mean, no, there’s nothing that says you can’t do a number of these things at any time of year — but if you, like me, revel in the two months out of the year when your exceptionally bizarre hobbies are somewhat socially acceptable, then it’s time to celebrate.

But does the zodiac really work? Can we successfully determine what folks might like or dislike based solely on the sign under which they were born? For what it’s worth, there is some evidence that suggests birth month might be linked to certain personality traits; additionally, weather and seasons can actually affect pregnancies to some degree, which can then have an impact on your health. At the end of the day, though, it all comes down to what you personally believe. If you’re totally invested in astrology? Awesome. If you think it’s just a fun diversion? Also awesome.

Either way, sometimes it can be interesting to consider what is and isn’t recommended for you personally based on your sign — which is where this spooky, Halloween-y list of ideas might come in handy. Oh, and while we’re at it, you certainly don’t have to limit yourself solely to the activity suggested for your sign; you could very well use all the suggestions as a checklist and challenge yourself to see how much of it you can get accomplished by the time the clock tolls midnight on Oct. 31. So many spooks, so little time!

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Aries (March 21 – April 19): Go To An Extreme Haunted Attraction

Aries, you’re the thrill-seeker of the zodiac, so why not challenge yourself to the ultimate in Halloween scares? Whereas most of the high-octane haunted attractions that pop up across the country around Halloween feature some very important “don’t touch the visitors” rules (which also works the other way, too — visitors also shouldn’t touch scare actors), extreme high-octane haunted attractions… do not have those rules. They will poke you, prod you, throw you around, and make you do unspeakable things. This means that you shouldn’t undertake one of these haunts without making sure you’re really prepared for it — but if you think you can handle it, give the Blackout haunted house in New York and Los Angeles, McKamey Manor in Nashville and Huntsville, ScareHouse’s The Basement near Pittsburgh, or ESCAPE: Hell In The Armory in San Francisco a shot.

(Or, y’know, just go to a regular ol’ haunt instead; it’ll be plenty scary, but without the risk of ruining your favorite shirt. There’s almost certainly one near wherever you live; just Google “haunted attractions near me” and see what comes up.)

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Marathon A Super Weird Web Series

Once Taurus folk have made a decision, they tend to stick with it until the very end. As such, dedicating yourself to a spooky, scary, or otherwise strange and unusual series should be an easy task for people born under the sign of the Bull. And hey, guess what? Good horror media isn’t limited to TV, streaming services, and movies; there’s loads of good stuff to be found on YouTube. (There’s also a lot of bad stuff on YouTube, though, so you’ll want to pick and choose carefully.)

If you haven’t seen Marble Hornets yet, that’s probably a good place to start, particularly if Slender Man is your jam. The West Records is one of the unsung heroes of the YouTube horror space; it’s particularly well-told and believable, making excellent use of the found footage/vlog genre. If you dig video game-oriented classics like Ben DROWNED, give Petscop a try — it hit the internet about six months ago and immediately became a huge hit. You might also think about checking out 2h32, which is a currently running favorite of many horror YouTubers; it’s a little different than the others mentioned here in that there isn’t a straightforward narrative — but if you’re willing to dig a little deeper, it’s quite a ride.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Try To Escape From A Creepy Escape Room

Intellectually curious, cunning, and excellent at communicating with others, Geminis might want to try their hand at making it out of a creepily-themed escape room. Your quick wit will come in handy as you attempt to escape from a zombie or serial killer before time runs out. Try The Basement in LA; Trapped In A Room With A Zombie in Chicago, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Columbus, Dallas, and New York; the escape rooms at Laurel’s House Of Horror in Laurel, Md. (about halfway between Washington, D.C.and Baltimore); or House of Horrors and Haunted Catacombs’ Locked-Up Escape Games in Buffalo for rooms that include live actors for an extra dose of fright — and as a bonus, Laurel’s House of Horrors and House of Horrors and Haunted Catacombs both have regular haunted attractions on the premises, too.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Call Some Mysterious Phone Numbers

Those born under the sign of the Crab are said to be incredibly imaginative — so maybe some interactive storytelling will spook you out (in the best of ways, of course) this Halloween. There exist a variety of phone numbers which, when called, might give you a spooky message or hook you into a bigger story. These numbers are generally fictional; thanks to things like Google Voice, they’re easy to set up these days and can be used to add spice to creepypastas and other pieces of horror fiction. They’re still unsettling, though, largely because the make the tales so much more immediate.

Some options: Read this, then call 630-296-7536. Or call 801-820-0263. Or see if you can figure out the “Help me, help me, Susie’s dying” number and call that. Or try some of the numbers discussed here.

(Just make sure you research the numbers you plan to dial ahead of time so you don’t end up calling an actual person by accident.)

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Hunt Some Ghosts

Fearless Leo, you’re the perfect candidate for a real-life ghost hunt. For the full experience, look for a location near you that does overnight hunts; try the Dead of Night ghost hunt from Ghost City Tours in New Orleans, the overnight tours at the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in Weston, West Virginia, or the Waverly Hills Sanatorium near Louisville, Ky. If you’re not into the idea of staying up all night, you might try something like the Hallowe’en Candlelight Tour of the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, Calif. And for even more options, check out Ghost Hunts USA and American Hauntings — both specialize in overnight ghost hunts in a variety of different locations.

To keep it simpler, you could also try downloading a ghost hunting app and using it to investigate your own home, a friend’s house, or some other easily accessible location. You never know what you might find right in your own proverbial backyard.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept.22): Turn All The Lights Off And Read Some Spooky Stories

Bookish Virgo, now is the time to dive into all the creeptastic stories you’ve always been too nervous to read. Heat up some cider or mull some wine, grab a flashlight, and turn out the lights.

There are books, of course; novels, and more fiction, and of course terrifying books that tell absolutely true stories. There’s also a wealth of horror fiction online — classics, ones that have flown under the radar, and more. Or try something a little more unorthodox — takes that will make you work to find all the threads, or give you an entire universe to peruse at your leisure.

There’s so much to find… if only you take the time to look for it.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Have A Séance

With your sociable nature, Libra, now is the perfect time to grab a few friends, pick up a Ouija board, and go to town. You might also try automatic writing, a pendulum, or the “ask the glass” method — and hey, worst case scenario, it’s pretty easy to make your own talking board.

Although some folks who believe that Ouija boards work also believe that they’re evil or that you should never bring one into your home, it’s worth noting that according to many paranormal researchers and psychics, the boards themselves aren’t dangerous; rather, it’s the attempt to communicate with things you might not be prepared to deal with that might be. So, y’know, tread carefully, if you believe in this sort of stuff.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Play The Elevator Game

Feeling brave, Scorpio? Of course you are; that's one of your defining characteristics. So, harness that bravery, screw your courage to the sticking-place, and give the Elevator Game — or any other creepy paranormal game, for that matter — a shot. The Elevator Game involves heading to a building with at least 10 stories, riding the elevator, and pressing the buttons in a very particular order. Doing so will, according to legend, bring you to another world — one that looks kind of like our own, but… not quite. Just make sure you’re willing to risk never returning home again before you play.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Spend The Night In An Allegedly Haunted Location

Sagittarians love to travel, and with the huge number of allegedly haunted hotels and bed and breakfasts out there… well, let’s just say that the Halloween season was made for those kinds of trips. You might see something spooky, or you might not; whatever the case, though, it’ll certainly be An Experience. The Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast in Fall River, Mass., the Villisca Axe Murder House in Villisca, Iowa, the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colo. (which served as the inspiration for Stephen King’s The Shining), the Myrtles in St. Francisville, La., and the Queen Mary in Long Beach, Calif. are all good options; for more, check out the website Haunted Rooms, which is devoted entirely to allegedly haunted locations that allow you to stay overnight.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Listen To Some Terrifying Podcasts

If you’ve been looking for your next big project, Capricorn (and of course you are; you’re the most ambitious sign of the zodiac), it’s time to tackle that stack of podcasts you’ve been meaning to listen to — especially the ones you suspect will scare your socks off. Bonus points if you turn out the lights and bury yourself under a few blankets while you listen.

Need a few suggestions? If you like your horror realistic, true crime podcasts and a variety of other options based on real-life events and phenomena have you covered; if you’d rather go for something fictional, you can find a few options here; and if you like the blur the line between fact and fiction, there’s plenty for you here.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Go On A Haunted Pub Crawl

Aquarius, you’re an excellent listener and you enjoy time with your friends — so why not gather a few pals together and go on a haunted pub crawl? You’ll hear stories that will challenge your imagination, you’ll get to explore your surroundings in a way you might not have before, and you’ll have a blast while you’re at it. Finding a haunted pub crawl is as easy as Googling “haunted pub crawl” (although it might help if you’re located in or around a city); for example, if you're in the D.C. area like I am, the Old Town Alexandria Frights and Pints tour will keep you entertained for around two and a half hours. Or, if you’re not into the pub crawl aspect, but like the idea of ghost stories, search for “ghost tour” instead. Who knows? Maybe you’ll hear some locale folklore you never knew existed before.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20): Do Some Unusual Armchair Traveling

Fellow Fish folk, you might consider taking a step or two off the beaten path this Halloween season — by which I mean it’s time to do some… unusual armchair traveling. With your fanciful imagination and sense of whimsy, you’ll certainly enjoy a trip to some bizarre — and, perhaps luckily, fictional — locales which you can "visit" without leaving your own home (thanks to the internet, of course).

Have you been to Scarfolk, for example? It’s a town in the North West of England that has not moved beyond 1979; instead, notes its home on the web, “the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum.” Or try Hookland, “that place you visited once, but cannot find on any map.” If you’re feeling the urge to rediscover your inner child, Fake Theme Park might be worth looking into — just maybe don’t plan on your imaginary self making it out of there alive. Or maybe consider looking for one or two of the 200 phenomena waiting for you in (a fictional version of) the city of Calgary.